Comedy

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde, by Albert W. Vogt III

For a complete rendering of why I love Legally Blonde (2001), please read my review of it.  In short, my appreciation revolves around the character of Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon).  Perhaps there is some cliché to being into a movie because of its star.  I like most Reese Witherspoon films.  Yet, there is something about the innocent but determined nature of… Read more “Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, by Albert W. Vogt III

Here we go with another Sandra Bullock film with Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (2005).  That sounds more uncharitable than is intended.  As I have said in other reviews of her films, I enjoy her work.  Still, they are kind of redundant.  Her sense of humor shines through, but the plots are usually similar.  That is why I appreciate a film… Read more “Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, by Albert W. Vogt III”

The Ugly Truth, by Albert W. Vogt III

One would not call me a relationship expert.  I would not, anyway.  While I am currently pursuing a different path, had it worked differently with the women with which I have been involved, things would be different.  This is not intended as nostalgia or, worse yet, regret.  Instead, I am trying to establish my modesty credentials, if you will,… Read more “The Ugly Truth, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul., by Albert W. Vogt III

Life is hard enough without putting added pressure on yourself.  This is a lesson that I am still learning.  The past few weeks have been draining.  Even the time spent in the last few days getting away from it all were taxing.  Further, upon returning home, I was reminded that the House of Prayer in Clearwater, Florida, was re-commencing… Read more “Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul., by Albert W. Vogt III”

Be Kind Rewind, by Albert W. Vogt III

My first exposure to director Michel Gondry’s work was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004).  I love that movie.  Such is my admiration for that work that I was pumped to see Dave Chappelle’s Block Party (2005), though that probably had more to do with Dave Chappelle.  I say that because while I liked Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I did… Read more “Be Kind Rewind, by Albert W. Vogt III”

The Bells of St. Mary’s, by Albert W. Vogt III

Defining The Bells of St. Mary’s (1945) is tricky in a limited sense.  Obviously, it is a Catholic movie.  If the title does not clue you into this fact, then it would become apparent after a couple minutes of watching it.  The frankly insignificant mystery of the film is whether it is a sequel to Going My Way (1944).  Bing Crosby is back… Read more “The Bells of St. Mary’s, by Albert W. Vogt III”

DC League of Super-Pets, by Albert W. Vogt III

The summer is coming to a close.  Who am I kidding?  I live in Florida.  Summer will be with us well into October, meteorologically speaking.  There is a sobering thought as I sit here on a sweltering Friday evening doing my best to ignore the need for air conditioning.  At least it is quiet, relatively speaking.  The old man I live… Read more “DC League of Super-Pets, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, by Albert W. Vogt III

Believe it or not, there was a time when Orenthal James “O.J.” Simpson was not known for allegedly killing Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.  I say “allegedly” because while he was acquitted of those charges, public opinion begs to differ.  He later went to jail for other reasons.  Yet, before his legal troubles began, he turned a hall… Read more “Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, by Albert W. Vogt III”

The Absent Minded Professor, by Albert W. Vogt III

Yes, I know there is an updated version of Disney’s The Absent-Minded Professor (1961), 1997’s Robin Williams led Flubber.  Whether you like it or not, Disney is always taking its older films and doing re-imaginings or remakes or whatever it is you want to call them.  There are so many of these that you could be tempted to accuse the… Read more “The Absent Minded Professor, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, by Albert W. Vogt III

A movie like Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993) can tell you all you need to know about what Hollywood thinks of Catholicism.  It is not all bad.  It is not all good, either.  In fact, the majority of it is enough to make you clutch your Rosary beads just a little tighter in frustration.  On my dissertation committee… Read more “Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, by Albert W. Vogt III

Finally.  Did you know that every film in the current five movie series that is Pirates of the Caribbean is at least two hours in length, on average close to two and a half hours, with the third being nearly three?  That is almost fifteen hours of your entire life that you would have to devote to watching them… Read more “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, by Albert W. Vogt III

Going into watching Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), I kept telling myself, “Just one more after this one.”  That will be a true statement until they release the sixth installment of this idiotic franchise.  Who knows when that will be, and that ambiguity offers small comfort.  Based on the limited rumors that I have gleaned from the… Read more “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, by Albert W. Vogt III

If only the subtitle in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007) meant the final entry in the cinematic universe that is this franchise.  Actually, it could have been, but they decided to mush on with two more after this one.  For those of you who think filmmaking is simply about producing quality movies, I give you this… Read more “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, by Albert W. Vogt III

Why could they not have just stopped Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Pearl (2003)?  Oh yeah, because the movie took in over $500 million above its cost to produce.  Sigh.  If I may rail for one more moment against this film, why is its subtitle The Curse of the Black Pearl?  The only hex placed on anyone is for… Read more “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, by Albert W. Vogt III

Get ready for The Legionnaire tackling the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise!  Hooray!  At least, I hope you are more thrilled about it than I am.  I hate these movies.  I try to avoid using that word, but there it is.  Among the many stories from history that fascinated me as a youngster, tales of piracy made up a portion of them.  I even had… Read more “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Minions: The Rise of Gru, by Albert W. Vogt III

This summer, my sister has decided that my nieces are at the age where they do not need the constant stimulus that is the summer camp environment.  My description is based on firsthand experience working as a lifeguard, and seeing busloads of young ones being dropped off at the pool.  The squeals still sometimes haunt my dreams.  To… Read more “Minions: The Rise of Gru, by Albert W. Vogt III”

National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, by Albert W. Vogt III

Have you ever felt the need to do something completely different after finishing a particularly onerous task?  That is how I felt after reviewing the entire Pirates of the Caribbean franchise to date.  Boy, let me tell you, I will be waiting on tenterhooks for the next installment!  Since Ryan Reynolds seems almost as ubiquitous these days as air, I… Read more “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, by Albert W. Vogt III”

The Bob’s Burgers Movie, by Cameron J. Czaja

While I may not be the biggest fan of the animated television series Bob’s Burgers (2011-presen), I have seen some episodes and appreciate it for what it is. I have been looking forward to watching The Bob’s Burgers Movie on the big screen for quite some time for one reason: it’s a traditionally animated film. I’ve stated on The Legionnaire before… Read more “The Bob’s Burgers Movie, by Cameron J. Czaja”

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, by Albert W. Vogt III

There was a time when part of Disney’s Hollywood Studios was dedicated to a little film called Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989).  In fact, the park opened the same year as the movie, originally as Disney’s MGM Studios.  In case you are wondering, MGM stands for Metro-Goldwyn Mayer.  At any rate, one of the early attractions at the… Read more “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, by Albert W. Vogt III

You can make quite the list of people who have played Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s famous detective Sherlock Holmes. Everyone from Basil Rathbone (ever hear of him?) to Will Ferrell, there have been well known comedians and child actors of both sexes who have filled the part.  The two best ones of late have been Benedict Cumberbatch… Read more “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Everything Everywhere All at Once, by Albert W. Vogt III

What is to follow is yours truly attempting to describe the impossible.  The first thing to say about this particular brand of impossible is that it is called Everything Everywhere All at Once.  If you read that title as a sentence, this too is impossible, unless you are God.  This will factor into the review later, so keep this… Read more “Everything Everywhere All at Once, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb, by Albert W. Vogt III

In my review of Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009), I discussed how I had no intention of seeing it. Basically, I saw it on Disney+, shrugged my shoulders, and said, “meh,” whatever.  And aside from my annoyance with Amelia Earhart (Amy Adams), it is a thoroughly “whatever” movie.  Perhaps there is some jadedness on my part,… Read more “Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, by Albert W. Vogt III

I had no desire to see Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009).  The original Night at the Museum (2006), was fine.  Set at the American Museum of Natural History, it had some fun with the various collections of old stuff stored at the museum.  You know the kinds of things of which I speak, right?  Items that are interesting usually… Read more “Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Kingsman: The Golden Circle, by Albert W. Vogt III

There are the good sequels, and there are the bad sequels.  Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) is in the latter of those categories.  This was a disappointment to me because I felt like they had fun with the first installment in the franchise.  All the subsequent attempts have paled in comparison, to put it mildly.  I knew I was in… Read more “Kingsman: The Golden Circle, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Kingsman: The Secret Service, by Albert W. Vogt III

When I first saw Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014), it was my introduction to star Taron Egerton.  Given the material and tone of the film, I assumed he would go on to be an action star.  Many of his films since have been of that variety, including the sequel, Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017), and the hilariously bad Robin Hood (2018).  I would not… Read more “Kingsman: The Secret Service, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Happy Death Day, by Albert W. Vogt III

Usually, fewer genres of films get me uninterested faster than slasher films.  I do not understand their popularity, and my problems have been documented in my reviews of the Scream franchise.  I do get the excitement of facing life-or-death situations.  Actions movies are replete with scenarios that viewers imagine themselves in, wondering how they would handle it.  When it comes to… Read more “Happy Death Day, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, by Albert W. Vogt III

What do you get when you are watching your adolescent nieces and you tell them to pick the movie for the evening?  You get Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2012).  You.  Get. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island.  Actually, I realized something while writing the title for this movie: it can also be read as a sentence.  It is not much, but it is… Read more “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Dog, by Albert W. Vogt III

When Cameron told me he wanted to review Uncharted this past weekend, I initially thought I was getting the short end of the stick.  The only other movie I knew of that was premiering was Dog.  My experience with movies with animals and humans as co-stars is limited, and not good.  Usually, they have a wacky premise with predictable, slapstick jokes.  I… Read more “Dog, by Albert W. Vogt III”

Shaun of the Dead, by Albert W. Vogt III

Before there was The Walking Dead (2010-present), or even a Zombieland (2009), there was Shaun of the Dead (2004).  It premiered in an era when zombie films and television shows still took the notion of reanimated corpses seriously.  I cannot think of any other examples before 2004 with a light-hearted take on the sub-genre.  Given the success of Shaun of the Dead, one can make… Read more “Shaun of the Dead, by Albert W. Vogt III”

The World’s End, by Albert W. Vogt III

With my birthday last weekend conveniently falling on a Friday, I thought it would be nice if I shared on The Legionnaire’s various social media platforms my top three movies.  Hence, the day of my birthday I shared Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980); my second favorite, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), on Saturday; and on… Read more “The World’s End, by Albert W. Vogt III”