Horror

Missing, by Albert W. Vogt III

Have you ever sat or stood over someone’s shoulder and watched them use their computer?  Well, if you see Missing, get ready for almost two hours of this kind of nonsense.  Perhaps I am not being charitable.  At the same time, neither am I lying.  The movie is shot entirely from the perspective of somebody looking at a computer screen.  I…

Smile, by Albert W. Vogt III

What a waste of two hours.  What a terrible assemblage of moving pictures and dialog.  What an unoriginal concept.  How could anyone spend the money and time in developing a film like Smile (2022).  The weekend it came out I reviewed Hocus Pocus 2 (2022).  I am not sure which is worse.  If forced to choose, I would say Smile.  At least Hocus Pocus 2 had a happy ending.  With Smile,…

Addams Family Values, by Albert W. Vogt III

Incidentally, I only got a couple of episodes into Wednesday (2022 – present) before giving up.  My distaste is related to the warnings given under the ratings on Netflix.  I noticed that for today’s film, Addams Family Values (1993).  Under the PG-13 designation, it says “Macabre humor.”  The Oxford English Dictionary defines “macabre” as, “disturbing and horrifying because of involvement with or depiction of death…

The Addams Family (1991), by Albert W. Vogt III

With all the craze there is these days with the new Netflix series Wednesday (2022 – present), it should come as no surprise that the early 1990s movies on which, I suppose, they are based are on the same streaming service.  Actually, to do it complete justice, one needs to look to the original show, The Addams Family (1964-1966).  It is…

The Bride of Frankenstein, by Albert W. Vogt III

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) is early proof that Hollywood would rather not put a lot of effort into coming up with original content.  Instead, if a title has any kind of recognizability, they will continue to make sequels of it.  Actually, it is not solely the movie industry that is at fault.  Let us call it human nature…

The Good Nurse, by Albert W. Vogt III

There are two ways of looking at hospitals.  There is the side that says they suck.  Who willingly goes to one?  Typically, the reason for you being in one is that either you or someone to whom you are close is there with some malady.  I have had too much experience with them lately, and I cannot blame anyone…

The Last House on the Left (1972), by Albert W. Vogt III

When I started The Legionnaire, I promised not to review pornography.  The Last House on the Left (1972) as about as close as I ever care to get to that line.  As such, this will be a short article.  I will not be discussing the plot.  In fact, I will make my recommendation here and now: do not see this movie.  If…

Frankenstein (1931), by Albert W. Vogt III

There are days when my paying job gets the better of me.  Because it provides the funds to keep me out of the poor house, I tend to prioritize it.  In this pursuit, I do not leave tasks unfinished.  Actually, this is kind of universal when it comes to everything I do.  My preference is to do one thing…

Prometheus, by Albert W. Vogt III

Ever since the release of the first Alien film in 1979, they have been trying to replicate its ground breaking blend of science fiction and horror.  Space can be a scary place, in conception anyway.  Who knows what it is really like out there in the stars.  We have not even come to fully understand our own solar system.  It is…

The Menu, by Albert W. Vogt III

Perhaps I should have gone to see The Chosen.  I would have, but in my cursory research of the title it seemed to me that they were combining episodes of a series and making them into a movie.  I would like one day to have The Legionnaire cover non-films.  But, until the day comes when it is more than myself…

The Blair Witch Project, by Albert W. Vogt III

These days, it is difficult to imagine a world without the internet.  To be clear, the world wide web was a thing in the late 1990s when today’s movie, The Blair Witch Project (1999), premiered.  Yet, it was still saddled with the inefficiency of dial-up.  For you whipper-snappers out there who do not know what that is, imagine having your…

Halloween (2018), by Cameron J. Czaja

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked if was going to watch the new Halloween film Halloween Ends. I said yes, but not until Halloween. Ever since I saw the classic 1978 film Halloween for the first time on the title holiday in 2017, I decided that whenever a new Halloween film comes out, I will watch…

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by Albert W. Vogt III

Enjoy this one because it might be as close as I get to reviewing a Halloween-esque movie.  Or perhaps I should call it in the ballpark of Halloween?  Halloween-ish?  Anyway, the undead always seem to be more popular around this time, and they are about the only part of the horror genre I will watch, if any, most…

From Dusk Till Dawn, by Albert W. Vogt III

There is not much good to say about From Dusk Till Dawn (1996).  I suppose you can believe that I am writing this review because it is the Halloween season, and it is essentially a monster film.  Otherwise, there is little in it to recommend it, and as such I will not be doing so by the time that…

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, by Albert W. Vogt III

Now to once more dig into my favorite Disney films, and those are of the more obscure variety.  I have probably already explained this before, but back when the Disney Channel started, with cable television in its infancy (yes, I am that old), they had to find programming.  Lots and lots of programming.  During the day, when I…

Gremlins 2: The New Batch, by Albert W. Vogt III

I seem to be reviewing a lot of sequels lately.  They can be tricky to do because as follow ups to usually more popular originals, it is difficult to say anything new about them.  When a film does well, a studio is hesitant to go in a direction that deviates from the formula that brought the first…

Prey, by Albert W. Vogt III

When I first saw the trailer for Prey, my first thought was, “Huh?”  “What?!”  Part of the reason for my bewilderment is that I had recently seen The Predator (2018).  It is franchise-crushingly bad, which I explained in my review of it.  It also took me a moment to realize what I was seeing, and once I did the disapprobation set in…

The Predator, by Albert W. Vogt III

Of all the silly ways of milking a franchise, sticking the word “The” on the front of a classic film title has got to be the silliest.  As I have progressed through my reviews of all the Predator movies, I have mentioned a few times that the original Predator (1987) is a piece of classic cinema of the highest order.  Again,…

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, by Albert W. Vogt III

If memory serves correctly, when I saw the first AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004), I do not recall hating it.  To be sure, it is not good.  Yet, the most you can say sometimes about a film that does not stand out in any particular way is that it is serviceable.  As such, I do not think I had any…

AVP: Alien vs. Predator, by Albert W. Vogt III

Ever since Predator 2 (1990), the devoted fan base to the Predator and Alien franchises have wanted a crossover film where these two races of space monsters battle it out with each other.  Why?  Because if you look in the background of the Predator spacecraft towards the end of Predator 2, you will see a trophy case.  Among the skulls collected there is one that…

Hocus Pocus 2, by Albert W. Vogt III

This time of year is not my favorite.  My apologies to anyone who enjoy the approach of Halloween, but I stopped liking that event when I got too old to go trick-or-treating.  It seems to me that the only reason many adults celebrate it is because they want an excuse to behave in a wildly inappropriate manner.  I…

Bram Stoker’s Dracula, by Albert W. Vogt III

If there is one movie that I feel best encapsulates my distaste for certain films as a practicing Catholic, it is Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992).  Though tales of vampires predate the Irish author Bram Stoker’s most well-known work, simply titled Dracula (1897), it is the one most often credited for kick starting the Western craze for these monsters.  And I do…

28 Days Later, by Albert W. Vogt III

My distaste for the majority of horror films is well documented.  In short, they are among the most formulaic of movie genres.  In other words, predictable.  On the other hand, I do not totally mind predictability.  One thing I cannot do while watching any piece of cinema is turn off my brain.  Rightly or wrongly, I will find a logic…

Beast, by Albert W. Vogt III

My Catholic sensibilities had a bit of trepidation reviewing a movie titled Beast.  After all, that is one of the names given to the devil.  If you knew nothing else about the film and stopped thinking about it at the name, then you would be misled.  It is about a man-killing lion, albeit one with a devilish disposition.  It also…

Warm Bodies, by Albert W. Vogt III

With Shaun of the Dead (2004), you have a great movie that spoofs the zombie sub-genre of horror.  It is that good because not only does it send up many of the classic tropes you expect from such movies, but there is also British wit and a plot.  Zombieland (2009) is on the same level.  In fact, outside of the original Night…

Psycho, by Albert W. Vogt III

I wonder how many people when they think of the movie Psycho (1960) bring to mind the 1998 remake starring Vince Vaughn and Anne Heche?  I hope not.  It is the original that had one of the most famous scenes in cinematic history, that being when Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) is killed in the shower of her room at…

The Black Phone, by Cameron J. Czaja

When God closes a door, he opens a window. That was the case for director Scott Derrickson, who is someone I mentioned in previous reviews. For those who are unaware, he is the director of Sinister (2012), which is one of my favorite horror films of all time. He also did Marvel’s Doctor Strange (2016), a Marvel…

From Hell, by Albert W. Vogt III

Sometimes you remember a movie one way, watch it again, and find that it does not quite fit the image in your brain.  I have probably said this in other reviews, but it bears repeating for a movie such as From Hell (2001).  Given my current devotion, something I did not have back then, it might come as a…

Blade: Trinity, by Albert W. Vogt III

Did you know that there are actually three different Marvel cinematic franchises in which Ryan Reynolds appears?  Before he donned the famous red body suit of Deadpool (2016), before he was an early version of Wade Wilson in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), he was Hannibal King in Blade: Trinity (2004).  Please do not take that as a recommendation to see Blade: Trinity.  If it…

Blade II, by Albert W. Vogt III

Since they decided to make a trilogy out of the rather obscure Marvel vampire character known as Blade (Wesley Snipes), why not review all of them?  I mean, what else does one have to do on a week night?  Sometimes, I think, well, I have a privileged position that allows me to scrape the cinematic depths.  Occasionally, it…

Blade, by Albert W. Vogt III

Among the uncountable things that Marvel Studios is up to these days, backed by the seemingly limitless money of Disney, is to bring their vampire hunting superhero Blade into the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU).  Or at least that is the rumor.  You can see the day-walking bloodsucker’s hero amongst the titles in whatever future phase is next…

Rosemary’s Baby, by Albert W. Vogt III

In 1966, a Time magazine cover asked the question: Is God dead?  This is briefly featured in today’s film, Rosemary’s Baby (1968).  One cannot underscore enough how much of a bellwether moment this was in American culture.  If you think times are crazy now, you should take a look at the 1960s.  If it is racial problems you want, the decade saw not…

The Exorcist, by Albert W. Vogt III

There is a film this Catholic reviewer has been avoiding, and it is The Exorcist (1973).  I have seen it more than once, which in hindsight is more than I think anyone should view it.  People watch it is a classic horror film.  My view of it is as a critical Catholic.  It is one that I studied while completing my…

Jurassic World Dominion, by Albert W. Vogt III

Go ahead, ask me if I have seen Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018).  The answer to this query, spoken aloud or not, is no.  Or at least I do not think I have seen it.  If you have seen one dinosaur movie, you have seen them all.  I like the original, Jurassic Park (1993).  The same can be said for millions of others, so…

Riddick, by Albert W. Vogt III

Talk about a franchise chasing its tail.  When Pitch Black (2000) came out, the film did little in the box office.  As I briefly mentioned in my review of that film, what gained a following for the film were people who saw it after it left theaters.  There is something, how should I put this, different, about the original.  A group…

Pitch Black, by Albert W. Vogt III

Let us take a look at the career of one Vin Diesel.  Today, we know him as the mumbling voice behind Dominic Toretto, the star of the annoyingly long lasting Fast and Furious franchise.  Or is just the Furious saga?  Who cares?  That is perhaps the series with which he is most associated, but that is not how he broke into the industry.  By…

Firestarter (2022), by Albert W. Vogt III

Believe it or not, there was another movie that opened this weekend.  If you follow the buzz (whatever that means), or look at theater listings, you could almost fool yourself into thinking that Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness started last Friday, not the remake of one of the string of Stephen King adaptations to haunt…

The Shining, by Albert W. Vogt III

Not all of Stanley Kubrick’s films are as bad as A Clockwork Orange (1971), or as taboo as Lolita (1962).  The majority of them are, though, twisted.  Even in movies as seemingly innocuous as 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), there are moments that make you question the director’s sanity, such as when the artificial intelligence HAL 9000 (voiced by Douglas Rain) murders the…

Morbius, by Albert W. Vogt III

How many more movies are left that we got previews for before COVID shut down movie theaters?  The only other one I can think of is Top Gun: Maverick.  I do not know whether or not I should look forward to that one.  There are really only two possible outcomes with high levels of anticipation.  Either something will be great,…

Happy Death Day 2U, by Albert W. Vogt III

Shame on me for assuming that, like most sequels, Happy Death Day 2U (2019) was going to be bad.  What is even more remarkable is that it is just as good as its predecessor, 2017’s Happy Death Day, while also explaining something about the first that went by the board.  In the original, we never learn why it is that…

Happy Death Day, by Albert W. Vogt III

Usually, fewer genres of films get me uninterested faster than slasher films.  I do not understand their popularity, and my problems have been documented in my reviews of the Scream franchise.  I do get the excitement of facing life-or-death situations.  Actions movies are replete with scenarios that viewers imagine themselves in, wondering how they would handle it.  When it comes to…

Ghostbusters II, by Albert W. Vogt III

There are few more iconic films than Ghostbusters (1984).  Still, I wonder if it would have been as much of a smash-hit if John Belushi had still been alive to fill the role of the wise-cracking Peter Venkman instead of Bill Murray.  Not that it would have made a huge difference to me personally as they are both Chicago…

Jaws, by Albert W. Vogt III

When you hear the famous “duuuun dun, duuuun dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun. . . .” you immediately know to what movie it is referring.  It is, of course, the 1975 classic Jaws.  Few films have such recognition.  You can put it into almost anything and the audience knows immediately the tone that is being sought, comically…

Nightbooks, by Albert W. Vogt III

With some out-of-town friends staying at the house of the old man I live with, I decided halt the onslaught of Karate Kid movies in favor of giving them the choice of the evening’s entertainment.  They came up with a few options, and the one that seemed most interesting (based solely on previews) was Nightbooks (2021).  If you view…

Zombieland, by Albert W. Vogt III

My quest for movies to review increasingly takes me into the archives of The Legionnaire.  As the collection nears the 1,000 mark, I sometimes have difficulty remembering which films I covered.  That is the main reason why I recently did Shaun of the Dead (2004).  There are times when I think of movies and wonder what I thought about them, which…

Shaun of the Dead, by Albert W. Vogt III

Before there was The Walking Dead (2010-present), or even a Zombieland (2009), there was Shaun of the Dead (2004).  It premiered in an era when zombie films and television shows still took the notion of reanimated corpses seriously.  I cannot think of any other examples before 2004 with a light-hearted take on the sub-genre.  Given the success of Shaun of the Dead, one can make…

Scream 4, by Albert W. Vogt III

Finally.  Thank God.  These are words that I am telling myself now that I have gotten to Scream 4 (2011).  I am fairly certain they are also things said inside the skulls of the actors and actresses involved with Scream 3 (2000).  Finally, we can walk away from these films and move on with our lives with other projects.  Fortunately for me, I can…

Scream 3, by Albert W. Vogt III

Trilogy?  Why not.  I mean, I did not get a say as to whether or not they were going to make a Scream 3 (2000).  Why they would have asked a young idiot such as myself at that time is beyond me.  Still, nary an email (a still novel technology at that time), letter, or franchise appropriate phone call did I…

Scream 2, by Albert W. Vogt III

Okay, I can do this.  I mean, it is perfectly understandable that they would make a sequel to what people thought was a fresh take on the slasher subgenre, right?  Who cares if something is unique and complete like Scream (1996)?  It does not mean that they are going to basically do the same movie all over again, but this…

Scream (1996), by Albert W. Vogt III

Now that I have taken care of the latest movie titled Scream, let us go back to where it all started in 1996.  That is what was talked about in the 2022 version, anyway, that the “requel,” the made-up word for whatever that was, had to return to the original.  As I mentioned in my review of the…

Scream (2022), by Albert W. Vogt III

When the first movie titled Scream (1996) premiered, people marveled at its ability to be self-deprecating.  Before I go any further, I need to remind myself to exercise some caution.  You see, to prepare for the latest Scream, I watched all four of its forerunners.  The first one was a bit of nostalgia.  For whatever reason, when I was a young, impressionable…

Gremlins, by Albert W. Vogt III

For whatever reason, I never thought of Gremlins (1984) as being a Christmas movie.  In fact, I watched it at the end of my seasonal run thinking it would be a good movie to transition back into non-holiday fare.  It had been years since I had seen it.  Indeed, I cannot remember the last time I viewed it before recently.  What…

Beetlejuice, by Albert W. Vogt III

After seeing Catherine O’Hara in so many of my favorite mockumentaries, and the Home Alone films, I began thinking about where else I had seen her.  It was not long before my memory alighted on Beetlejuice (1988).  She is by no means the star of this late 1980s classic.  It is also the film that probably gave rise to director Tim Burton’s…

Ghostbusters: Afterlife, by Cameron J. Czaja

Huge confession, I actually have never seen the original Ghostbusters (1984), or the 1989 sequel, from beginning to end, which is something that I’m embarrassed to admit. That’s not to say that I have no clue as to what they are about thanks to watching bits and pieces of it via television airings and YouTube videos. I’m…

Last Night in Soho, by Albert W. Vogt III

Part of what I am about to say is motivated by my love of Last Night in Soho’s director Edgar Wright, my favorite auteur. All of his movies, from his early comedies to this most recent example, are brilliant.  Only he can get me excited to see a horror film.  I typically leave those to Cameron’s more practiced hand.  Yet,…

Halloween (1978), by Cameron J. Czaja

This may be an unpopular opinion for some Catholics, but I love the Halloween season and (almost) everything associated with it. Around this time of year, I’ll go to haunted houses, attend a Halloween party or two, and watch scary movies whether they are good or bad. One scary film that I’m going to be…

The Birds, by Albert W. Vogt III

Recently, my sister randomly said to me, “You need to watch The Birds (1963).”  She did not also say “1963,” but I am a prisoner to convention.  When I asked why, she reminded me of a time that I only vaguely recall when my mom made us watch it.  She did the same thing with us for The Sound of Music (1965).  I…

Malignant, by Albert W. Vogt III

All week long, I kept hoping that when I got to Saturday, like magic there would be some other movie than Malignant for me to watch.  A miniscule part of me held out an even tinnier glimmer of hope that it would not be that bad.  It is directed by James Wan.  As the promotional material for Malignant never seemed to tire to remind…

Sleepaway Camp, by Albert W. Vogt III

Ugh.  In one of Down and Out Reviews’ recent podcasts, my broadcast partner kept talking about a slasher film called Sleepaway Camp (1983).  He has decided that our cosmic reason for being is to make this poor Catholic watch and react to films where people are brutally murdered.  I am willing to go along with it, not because I want to…

Candyman, by Albert W. Vogt III

When the now infamous Cabrini Green housing project was first conceived, the word “project” did not have the same pejorative connotation it has today.  In fact, it was never intended to become the crime riddled section of my beloved city of Chicago that the municipal government seemingly forgot.  Instead, it was supposed to provide affordable housing for…

Hold the Dark, by Albert W. Vogt III

I enjoy programs about Alaska.  Recently I wrote a review of the film Into the Wild (2007), which is the true story of a man who goes out to what is the last remaining wild place left in our country.  Maybe that is not the best example as I find that film annoying, mostly because he dies due to…

Only Lovers Left Alive, by Albert W. Vogt III

Vampires, am I right?  For reasons that are beyond my grasp, other than immortality I suppose, Western culture has had a centuries’ long fascination with these mythical creatures.  This is admittedly a poor reference for this point, but in my review of What We Do in the Shadows (2014), one of my complaints about vampire lore is the changeable…

Army of the Dead, by Albert W. Vogt III

Zack Snyder is a hack.  If you have not gathered that this is my opinion of his work from reading my reviews of his dumb Justice League films, then let this definitive statement erase any doubts.  Alright, I will confess to enjoying 300 (2006).  It was original in its style.  Unfortunately, Snyder seemed to have fallen in love with slow motion and sepia…

Alien, by Albert W. Vogt III

Ah, the 1970s, or at least the tail end of that decade.  When Alien (1979) premiered, it was a mere two years after arguably the granddaddy of all cinematic franchises, Star Wars, made its debut.  If you think cinema attendance is bad today, take a look at the numbers from the advent of television to 1977 when Star Wars: Episode IV…

Ghosts of War, by Albert W. Vogt III

In order to spare you the aggravation, I am going to spoil Ghosts of War (2020) right away: what you think is a strange combination of a World War II, er . . . epic (you cannot type high-pitched incredulity) with a straight-up horror flick, is actually a computer simulation for soldiers recovering from being wounded.  Why am I doing…

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, by Albert W. Vogt III

A title like Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) is bound to get the attention of a Catholic like me.  I love the notion of doing battle with evil, though if you read my review of The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, you will know that, spiritually speaking, I do not believe such forces should be trifled…

Spiral: From the Book of Saw, by Cameron J. Czaja

Hello readers of The Legionnaire, I want to play a game. Well, maybe not a game, but I do have a question: do you know what was one the most successful horror series to come during the 2000s that was more about gore than horror? If you thought of the Saw franchise, then you are…

A Quiet Place II, by Cameron J. Czaja

After I saw A Quiet Place back in 2018, I fell in love with it right away. As a movie lover, I enjoyed it for how they played with the horror genre by making a somewhat silent film in a tension filled setting. As a Catholic, however, I enjoyed it for being a pro-life and…

The Unholy, by Cameron J. Czaja

Sometimes it’s tough being a fan of cinema and a devout Catholic. I mention this because this past weekend a certain film called The Unholy was released in theaters which drew many red flags in my head. One, for example, was the Good Friday release day. The marketing department behind it was doing everything they…

Underwater, by Albert W. Vogt III

Ah, the heady days of the pre-COVID-19 world.  It was a time when you went to the theater and, unless you already had a choice in mind, you had to actually make a decision.  When Cameron came aboard, as I mentioned yesterday, it became a matter of splitting between two new releases every week.  And while this was…

The Ghost and the Darkness, by Albert W. Vogt III

If you lived in the Tampa Bay area in the late 1990s like I did, then Busch Gardens Tampa was the place to be. The first time I went was for a high school field trip. Our physics teacher expected us to ride the roller coasters and record the effects of g-forces, acceleration, and other…

The Little Things, by Cameron J. Czaja

Now that we’re almost into a year of getting used to watching movies almost exclusively on streaming, I have to say that I’ve gotten quite used to it. Don’t get me wrong, if have the opportunity to watch a movie in the theater I’ll take advantage of it. However that hasn’t really been the case…

Night of the Living Dead, by Albert W. Vogt

Like our review of The Ring (2002), apologies for this seasonally mistimed review of the film that launched George Romero’s zombie franchise: Night of the Living Dead (1968). Not that I am complaining. For months I cast about trying to choose which movie to watch. I soon realized that my tastes are somewhat eclectic, but…

The Ring, by Albert W. Vogt III

Although we are well into the so-called Christmas season, when last I asked for movie suggestions it was around Halloween. Hence somebody asked for a review of The Ring (2002). I hate this movie, and thought I had left it safely behind when I first saw it in the movie theaters. On the other hand,…

Train to Busan, by Albert W. Vogt III

Today is Thanksgiving, and at Mass this morning during the homily the priest reminded us of how it is “right and just,” as the prayer goes, to give thanks. It is a call to reverence God in all situations, no matter how terrible. With 2020 going the way it has, it is even more important…

Freaky, by Albert W. Vogt III

With life getting back to some semblance of order, I was able to make it to the movies to see Freaky, which I meant to see last weekend but Tropical Storm Eta had other plans. Those who know me best, and pay attention to new releases, probably would have expected to me see The Last…

Sinister, by Cameron J. Czaja

I’ve mentioned in a previous review (It: Chapter 2 maybe?) that I became more of a fan of horror films during the 2010s.  One film in particular that unintentionally grew my interest in the genre is the 2012 film Sinister. That reason I was interested in that film is because of one person in particular, writer C.…

Spell, by Albert W. Vogt III

My usual theater day is Saturday, and this past one just happened to coincide with Halloween. On my way to the cinema I had been talking on the phone (hands-free, of course) with one of my best friends from high school. In pulling into the parking lot, I noted to him the presence of a…

The Abyss, by Albert W. Vogt III

James Cameron is an interesting guy, I suppose. I have never met him. He seems kind of vain when watching him in interviews. He does have some genuine interests, though. He appears to be quite dedicated to his craft. Think about some of the classic films of recent decades, not of the Star Wars variety,…

The New Mutants, by Albert W. Vogt III

After nearly six months of not having set foot in a movie theater, I finally made it back. I suppose I could have gone sooner, but it did not seem like they were releasing anything major. It almost came to naught, as well, when the manager approached and said the projector could break down at…

The Nightingale, by Cameron J. Czaja

Before I started writing for The Legionnaire, the last film that I saw in the movie theater was a small Australian film called The Nightingale. Even though I was invited to start writing for The Legionnaire a week before I saw this film, I chose to not review The Nightingale because I wanted my first review to be a major film…

Parasite, by Albert W. Vogt III

I have been thinking about Parasite (2019) for some time. I began hearing about this Korean film that had been gaining attention from various quarters. Curiosity piqued, I managed to catch a showing at the legendary Tampa theater. What a waste of a trip to this palace of the performing arts. To say the least,…

The Lighthouse, by Cameron J. Czaja

Unlike most films that I’ve reviewed this past month, The Lighthouse (2019) was one that I didn’t watch recently but rather back in October last year (specifically Halloween). It’s something that I wanted to review when I first saw it, but I had writer’s block because I couldn’t figure out how to approach it through a Catholic…

The Vast of Night, by Cameron J. Czaja

With movie theaters still closed due to COVID-19 and me looking for new movies to watch, I decided to go to Amazon Prime and scout out what new films they had to offer. One film that I was able to find was one called The Vast of Night. I honestly had no idea what this was…

The Velocipastor, by Cameron J. Czaja

There are certain pros and cons when you tell people that you review films. The pros is that they will ask your opinion on movies and you can offer them great recommendations. The cons, however, are that when there’s no major releases you start getting requests to review older films. I was recently asked to…

Aliens, by Albert W. Vogt III

Yes, I am reviewing Aliens and not Alien. No, that is not typo (other than me just using a double negative). It has been a long time since I saw the original 1979 horror classic. That one is of the slow-moving variety, and I remember watching it when I was younger and finding it difficult…

Get Out, by Albert W. Vogt III

Get Out (2017) was the far superior Jordan Peele film, so far. This young, seemingly promising director followed up the success of his first movie with the disturbing, much more overt Us in 2019, and you can find The Legionnaire’s review of that one here. Peele’s first foray into feature length directing was creepy without…

Bird Box, by Albert W. Vogt III

I am somewhat hesitant to put out this review right now with the current COVID-19 situation, but Bird Box (2018) is a good movie worth a view. I do not wish to add to the panic at the moment, and some of the scenes in this film might seem a little too real for some.…

A Quiet Place, by Albert W. Vogt III

A Quiet Place is a good movie. It just is. But I will not stop here with my review. There is a richness to this film that is remarkable to behold given its ninety minute run time. If there was nothing else to praise about it, it would be that it simply does not mess…

Fantasy Island, by Albert W. Vogt III

I do not care if I ruin Fantasy Island for you. It is awful. I must admit to a moment of confusion, though, as I entered the theater. When watching the preview for this film, I was aware of the old television show of the same name but did not think this iteration of it…

Gretel & Hansel, by Cameron J. Czaja

Before I saw Gretel & Hansel, I didn’t know anything about it. I hadn’t seen any trailer or any advertisements for this whatsoever. Usually I like going into a movie not knowing anything, but there were a couple of factors that made me very skeptical. One of them was the fact that Hollywood had already…

The Turning, by Albert W. Vogt III

The Turning is a confusing mess. I am jumping straight into this one because, really, there is no need to spend much time on it. One of the moments in this movie that symbolizes the jarring disjointed-ness of it was towards the end. The main character, Kate Mendell (Mackenzie Davis, and honestly, the film was…

Doctor Sleep, by Albert W. Vogt III

I am not a fan of horror films, usually. Of all movie genres, I find them to be the most formulaic and thus the most predictable. Typically they resort to jump scares, and they are usually about as subtle as an elephant on roller skates at a crowded cocktail party. In other words, not scary,…

Countdown, by Cameron J. Czaja

If I had to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure if Countdown, the horror that I’m to talk about, was going to be a theatrical release film. The reason I say that is because when I first saw the trailer randomly on Facebook I immediately went on Wikipedia to check it out, but for some…

It: Chapter Two, by Cameron J. Czaja

If you were to ask me over ten years ago if I was a fan of the horror genre, I probably would have said “sort of.” Recently however, we’ve been getting films that I like to call “smart horror” as they are films that attempt a clever and/or creative approach to the genre. Some recent…