There is probably no place more fitting than where I saw The Little Mermaid (2023).  A brief note: I will be adding the “(2023)” whenever I write the title to differentiate it from the 1989 version.  At any rate, I saw the new, live action one at Disney Springs.  If you are not familiar with this area of the Disney World Resort, it is their attempt to get you to stay on their property forever . . . or at least until you tire of the parks and hotels.  There are shops, restaurants, and, most importantly for my purposes, a movie theater.  There is probably also no other place I could have seen this movie and gotten the kind of applause it received as it began and ended.  Were people expecting a different movie?  I suspect that the majority of the people who paid to be there (including myself, I must admit) had already viewed the original cartoon. Does this mean they also applaud the animated one when they watch it?

I am going to do my review of The Little Mermaid (2023) a little differently because it is so similar to its forerunner.  If you want to know the story, go read my review of the 1989 iteration.  Instead, what I will talk about are the differences between the two.  I will not comment on one of the obvious changes from the first time around.  It is not important.  The most obvious update is the live action cast.  The usual suspects are all back, but in live form: Ariel (Halle Bailey), King Triton (Javier Bardem), Sebastian (voiced by Daveed Diggs), Flounder (voiced by Jacob Tremblay), Scuttle (voiced by Awkwafina), Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King), and, of course, the villain, Ursula (Melissa McCarthy).  Okay, so there is some animation.  This is Disney, after all.  Another major variance to point out is the runtime.  The 1989 iteration clocks in at a tidy eighty-three minutes, thankfully.  The new one is dragged out for almost an extra hour.  Sigh.  This means more songs, which I despise, but also more character development.  I will explore this a little more in the next paragraph.  For now, I will just that it is . . . okay?  I guess.  This is most noticeable with Prince Eric.  In this modern take, he is an orphan, adopted into royalty, which is used to explain why he likes hanging out with the regular folk.  In this manner, he is made into an outcast like Ariel, which is meant to make why they fall in love be more sensible.  There are also some minor details that are done differently, which also seem included to pad the length.  This mainly pertains to the stuff that happens in Prince Eric’s kingdom, whatever it is called.  Otherwise, you have pretty identical films, so I am not sure what anyone is missing if they do not see this latest version, but have already watched the first a million times.

My biggest non-Catholic takeaway from The Little Mermaid (2023) is confusion, and not solely because it was made in the first place.  It is the latest in a string of Disney classics that have been getting the live action treatment, some of which have been reviewed here on The Legionnaire.  The originals, as I understand them, were made for children.  One could surmise that the Mouse has the same audience in mind for the updates.  On this note, I ask you, what does an eight-year-old care about geography?  Or global trade networks?  Discussion of these topics is how the runtime mushrooms to nearly two and a half hours.  There is a “romantic” scene between Ariel and Prince Eric shortly after she loses her voice to Ursula to become human.  How do they spend it?  By looking at maps of the Mosquito Coast and South America.  The former of those, by the way, is the Caribbean coasts of Honduras and Nicaragua.  See, kids?!  I bet you did not think you were going to be learning something today!  I am also puzzled as to where or what or how does this mythical kingdom exist that Prince Eric is destined to one day rule.  This particular strangeness began when he returns from the disastrous voyage from which Ariel saves him from drowning.  In defending his desire to make another venture out into the sea, which his mother Queen Selina (Noma Dumezweni) is against because of all the dangerous mermaids and sea gods out there, he talks about quinine.  There is another topic to get the young ones excited: a cure for malaria.  Prince Eric says that it is what is being used in Europe.  Further, they need to establish connections with these regions of the world else their kingdom be left behind.  Now, unless their island nation is stuck in the eighteenth century while it is actually the twentieth century, I am not sure what is the point of discussing such things.  There are other aspects of this country that do not make any sense, but they are not worth commenting on because, well, Disney.  Finally, there was a tacked on environmental message that goes nowhere.  Mainly, all this pertains to having no clue as to where in the world this place is supposed to be.  If none of this is supposed to be taken literally, then why have any connection with literal places?  With apologies, this is what I think about when watching these types of films.

Speaking of my confusion with The Little Mermaid (2023), particularly as regards physical location, this bleeds over into my Catholic analysis.  There is a brief Catholic reference when a bit character utters the line “Santa Maria.”  It means “Holy Mary,” and it is something that only a Catholic would say.  This is particularly true for whatever time period during which this is supposed to be set.  As such, is religion supposed to be a thing in this world?  If not, then why have that as a line?  You can accuse me of making a mountain out of a mole hill if you like, but these things have meaning.  While taking the name of the Mother of Jesus in vain is not quite a sin, it is not something with which to trifle.  Also, if this is intentional and meant to be a component of this world, it is incompatible with mermaids, King Triton, and Ursula.  Then again, there were plenty of Catholics during the eighteenth century (I suppose?) that thought such creatures were real.

As strange as it might be for me to say given my distaste for most Disney animated features, I think I prefer the 1989 version to The Little Mermaid (2023).  To repeat the theme of this review, it is mostly because the original is shorter and has a lot less yawn-worthy material.  Of course, none of this will stop Disney from making more of these things.