For a Catholic film reviewer, most movies are a shot in the dark.  What I mean by that is that a lot of the time I have to work to come up with a perspective informed by my Faith.  Modern culture is doing its best to distance itself from dogma, unless it pertains to an Eastern religion.  Even then, people prefer to come up with their own versions of what they teach, or they cherry pick the aspects of them that they wish to apply to their lives.  There are plenty of Catholics that do the same thing.  The result is a bland acknowledgement of something that could or could not be God, who is a sort of feel-good entity that is there for all the warm fuzzies.  This is all over Hollywood, and when this nonsense crops up on the silver screen, I usually ignore it.  What it speaks to is us trying to humanize God instead of letting what thousands of years of thought and tradition have said on the matter inform that experience, if nothing else.  God gave us Jesus, His only Son, we did not create Him.  Yet, the kinds of actions I am discussing thus far are a form of us trying to be God in making faith whatever we want it to be.  It is for these reasons that I could not pass up Absolutely Anything (2015).

The single person that Absolutely Anything focuses on is Neil Clarke (Simon Pegg).  He is dreaming of having his book published, and being presented with an award for it from the woman downstairs on whom he has a crush, Catherine West (Kate Beckinsale).  In reality, he is still a struggling teacher whose headmaster (this is set in England, by the way), Mr. Robinson (Eddie Izzard), does not like him.  Neil’s students are unruly, so the classroom is no refuge.  Then there is his friend Ray (Sanjeev Bhaskar), with whom he commiserates about their problems.  Meanwhile, lightyears away in the cosmos, is an early space probe launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA).  On it is a record of what us humans look like and how to find our planet.  It is found by the Intergalactic Council of Superior Beings (voiced by the cast of Monty Python, enough said).  They find the earth’s machine ambassador hilarious because apparently this is something pretty much every race of intelligent people has sent into deep space.  You see the council’s collection to prove it.  Their first notion is to destroy the earth out of spite until one of their number reminds them of their rules.  Before the destruction can commence, they must grant one human the gift of absolute power to make anything happen (hence the title).  How this person handles these abilities will determine the council’s course of action.  After nearly landing on Sarah Palin, Neil is chosen.  He does not realize he has them at first.  Yet, we see that all it takes is a wish and a wave of his hand, and his classroom is destroyed with all his students inside by a blast from an alien space ship.  This is initially chalked up as coincidence, but on the way home a number of strange things happen that tell him that something odd is afoot.  He quickly discovers that it functions in a literal sense.  Feeling guilty for having caused death and destruction, he wishes for everyone who has ever died to come back to life.  The ensuing chaos has him reversing everything he has done to this point and he is back at school talking to Ray.  Meanwhile, Catherine is dealing with some of her own issues, namely the reappearance of her intense American ex-boyfriend Colonel Grant Kotchev (Rob Riggle).  He is stalking her, showing up at her place of employment and telling her that he has bought a flat for them to live in, despite her constant refusals.  He also watches her constantly, and is peaking through the window to her apartment building when she goes up to Neil’s place to have sex.  Neil believes this is because he has used his powers to have her love him though he does not know that the council is having technical difficulties at the moment he made that request.  The next day, she returns to explain that she had been a little drunk, but that she still likes him and wants it to be more than a one-night stand.  Her timing is poor, however, because Neil is dealing with having made his dog, Dennis (voiced by Robin Williams), be able to talk.  Neil tries to keep Dennis sequestered in the kitchen, but Catherine hears the pet anyway and assumes Neil is trying to hide a lover from her.  Neil is given a second chance when Catherine comes home later to find Grant already in her flat.  Neil intervenes, telling her to go up to his place until Grant leaves.  It is over a meal that he prepares that he reveals that he has these powers.  She is incredulous, but before he can fully demonstrate his abilities, Grant bursts into the room with a gun.  During the struggle between Grant and Neil, Catherine has had enough and leaves.  While Neil is able to overcome Grant with a few waves of the hand, Grant figures out what is going on and knocks out Neil while the latter is distracted.  The next day at work, Catherine finds some aspects of her job enhanced based on things Neil said he would manifest and realizes the truth.  She then attempts to return to his flat, but finds a hiding Ray instead, the result of Neil making the woman of Ray’s dreams worship Ray.  Together, they find Neil in the condominium Grant had bought for him and Catherine.  Grant is making Neil do all sorts of absurd things while threatening to kill Dennis.  Still, Catherine and Ray’s arrival is enough to distract Grant and allow for Dennis and Neil to free themselves.  Though Neil reverses all the wishes, and turns Grant into a corgi, it is not enough for Catherine.  Neil realizes he has been selfish, but his altruistic commands create disasters on a global scale.  Depressed, he tries to end it all by jumping into the Thames, but Dennis will not allow him to go through it alone.  It is then that Dennis comes up with the idea of Neil giving his powers to the dog, who then promptly orders that whoever granted them be destroyed.  Goodbye council.  Thus, Neil next goes to Catherine and gets her to agree to a date.

Excuse me while a crack my Catholic knuckles for this next portion of my review of Absolutely Anything.  The obvious thing to say is that Neil is made to be god.  You will note the lowercase “g.”  I am not willing to refer to him as I would our Lord.  I think this is also fair given the amount of restraint Neil employs with his powers.  Granted, most of what he does is selfishly motivated, but it could have been a lot more over-the-top.  Or he is just being English.  Anyway, it is in that selfishness that I think this film is most illustrative.  Isaiah 55:8 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways. . . .”  The next verse adds the part about how these “thoughts and ways” are above our own.  This is arguably the most important thing to remember about Faith, and what I was getting at in the first paragraph.  Despite out best efforts, things happen in the universe that are beyond our comprehension.  It is okay to try to understand them, but there is also wisdom in trusting in God’s plan.  This is at the heart of Faith, and choosing to do so is perhaps the most important decision one can make.  There is a perfect example of this in the film.  At one point, Neil is forced to make Catherine jump on Grant and begin to make passionate love to him right away.  Later, this forms part of what puts Catherine off Neil, not liking the feeling of having no will of her own.  And therein lies the greatest power, and mystery, that God has given to us.  If I were able to do what Neil can, I might be tempted to bring back the Faith as it had once been practiced by countless millions.  However, that would not be Faith, which is a choice.  You can choose to believe in God and the traditions handed down to us through the centuries, or you can think God is a flying spaghetti monster.  I will stick with the former.  

As crazy as it might seem, Absolutely Anything does much to prove my point about the folly of a man made god.  There are some things we can control, but it is those big things that we have no power over, nor should we.  It is best to let go, and this is the lesson that Neil learns in the end.  It is also why I recommend this movie.