There are many disappointing things about Take Me Home Tonight (2011), but most of these pertain to its moral content. Given that I am a Catholic film critic, I am sure these aspects will become apparent as you read this review.  Aside from those things, perhaps the biggest let down is the fact that the title song by Eddie Money is not to be heard once throughout the entire run time.  I recall seeing this movie in the theater when it premiered, ready to demonstratively lip sync the chorus even if I was by myself, as usual, in the theater.  It is one of those 1980s rock ballads that lends itself to these sorts of antics, if you do not know the song.  The film is also set during that decade, and features many of the familiar tunes from that decade.  Yet, not once is Eddie Money’s arguably greatest hit played throughout the proceedings.  This should not be a factor as to why this motion picture is not more widely known, but it is strange.  Otherwise, aside from a few over-the-top moments, the movie is pretty standard.

The evening in question in Take Me Home Tonight, since the title deals with a point in time rather than anything having to do with the song, takes place a little while after Matthew “Matt” Franklin (Topher Grace) graduates from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT).  With a degree from such a prestigious school, you might expect him to be employed in a lucrative job.  Instead, he works at the video store in the mall back home in Los Angeles.  He is trying to figure his life out when his high school crush, Tori Frederking (Teresa Palmer), walks into his establishment.  Suddenly, his job is not good enough, and he sneaks out the back, doffs his uniform, and meets back up with her posing as another customer.  His decision seems to get a confirmation of sorts when she lets on that she is working as an investment banker upon getting her own degree from Duke.  Though their catching up is awkward, she says that she hopes to see him later that evening at a party being hosted by Kyle Masterson (Chris Pratt).  Kyle happens to be dating Matt’s twin sister, Wendy (Anna Faris), so he automatically has a ride to the soiree.  The problem is that she drives something modest, to say the least, which is not in keeping with his Goldman Sachs persona he had come up with to impress Tori.  Luckily, they have Matt’s irresponsible best friend, Barry Nathan (Dan Fogler), along with them.  Earlier that day, he had been fired.  To get back at his boss and help Matt, Kyle decides to steal one of the luxury cars off the lot of the car dealership at which he was employed.  Inside glove compartment, Barry finds cocaine, so there is that.  They make it to the party fine, but Barry’s downward spiral moves into the stage of not caring about anything other than numbing the pain of his life, making him want to do the drugs.  This is all meant to be a comedy, by the way.  Matt hands it over and moves on to trying to talk to Tori.  His former blundering continues with her, born of his nervousness and everything he had built her up to be in the intervening years since high school.  Despite the stiffness, Tori is interested in him, particularly since he appears intelligent and different from the other people at the party.  Meanwhile, Kyle has a surprise in store for Wendy.  All night, they had been telling stories of how they had bought a condominium together.  This had all been preamble to him asking her to marry him.  This is something that Matt is against because Kyle is not the brightest guy, certainly not when compared to Wendy, who had applied to Cambridge University for graduate school.  After a falling out with Wendy over the accepted proposal, Barry and Matt go with Tori and her two friends to a party of other investors in Beverly Hills.  Once more, Barry and Matt are separated.  The less said about what happens to Barry, the better.  I will leave it at it involving a bathroom and what appears to be a married couple, not to mention more cocaine.  Matt and Tori also go off on their own and share their own intimacies, both emotional and physical, on a trampoline in the backyard of a next-door house.  It is at this moment that Matt finally reveals to Tori that he is not employed by Goldman Sachs.  She is understandably upset for having been lied to this entire time.  Even though he says the only untruth he had told was his job, she nevertheless walks away.  Thinking there is nothing left to do, Barry and Matt leave the party to return to Kyle’s.  Along the way, Barry manages to convince Matt to try some cocaine.  However, before he can do so, they forget that the car is still moving down the road and go careening off it.  They are found at the bottom of a ditch by Officer Bill Franklin (Michael Biehn), Matt’s dad.  Bill thinks his son is wasting his talent, not necessarily for Matt’s current situation or his dead-end job, but because Matt is not taking any chances.  In the end, Bill lets Barry and Matt go, but with a stern warning to be brave.  Eventually, Barry and Matt make it back to Kyle’s.  The night has reached the moment when it is time for them to attempt to get someone to ride “The Ball.”  This is essentially a human-sized hamster toy made of metal that they plan to roll down the hill with somebody in it.  Matt, upon seeing Tori once again and not getting her to forgive him, volunteers to ride the contraption.  Wendy is against it, but Kyle insists.  Thus, in goes Matt, and gravity takes care of the rest.  The Ball lands in a pool at the bottom, though he is able to get out before he drowns.  Duly impressed, Tori gives Matt her number and they agree to a date.  Also, assisted by Kyle’s glee over Wendy not being accepted into Cambridge, she decides to call off the engagement.  This brings to an end one crazy night.

Therefore, again, Take Me Home Tonight is confusing.  Not only is the song not played, but nobody is taken home.  Yet, there is a nugget of something important here beyond the drugs and sex.  Yes, none of this material is necessary, and what I am about to talk about could have been covered without the positively Bacchanalian moments in the film.  The important theme to draw from this mess is the fear of making a decision.  God had blessed Matt with abundant intelligence, which is on display at many points throughout the movie . . . except when he and Barry crash the car.  That is plainly dumb.  At the same time, it gives Bill the opportunity to deliver the best advice.  Fearing jail and willing to say anything to prevent this from happening, Matt explains that he has not done anything yet because he is afraid of failure.  To this, Bill replies that Matt has not failed.  Matt could not have failed because he has tried nothing.  There is a common cliché that people are capable of doing anything they want with their lives.  I have long felt that this kind of open-ended logic is not helpful.  How does one pick a path with such infinite possibilities.  The film speaks to a generation going through this indecision.  It is set in the 1980s, but the lessons equally apply today.  This is why Faith is such a blessing.  Catholicism provides a structure for deciding on such things through spiritual discernment.  This does not mean that people automatically make the right decision.  For example, not every priest that enters the seminary makes it to ordination.  In any case, though, it is the structure that is important.  This way, you do not end up in a metal ball, almost drowning in a pool.

There are better cinematic ways of getting the kinds of lessons provided by Take Me Home Tonight.  You can also hear the title song in other movies.  I cannot name any off the top of my head, but I am pretty sure I have seen them.  At any rate, this movie is forgettable on a number of levels, but not completely without merit.