The time finally came to see Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.  It is a movie about which I had been hearing about for the better part of a year.  To my delight, my nieces wanted to see it as well.  I say delight because when I was their age, if it were not for Star Wars, Indiana Jones would probably be my preferred film franchise.  My favorite is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989).  While I do not believe either of my nieces will become like me, spending time in the library thinking the books there would help me figure out the location of the Holy Grail, I am at least glad that they were enthusiastic about seeing Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.  Today’s films had plenty of nods to its predecessors, almost all of which went over my nieces’ heads, but they remained interested throughout the proceedings all the same.  As for me, what I hope is that this one does not become the basis for how they experience the franchise.  As you will see, it is mostly okay, though it threatens disaster before it is literally punched back into line.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny begins like any other adventure of Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr. (Harrison Ford) that you have seen.  It is 1944, and Indiana Jones is behind German lines.  He has been captured while going after the Lance of Longinus, the spear of the soldier that pierced Jesus’ side after He died on the Cross.  If you are a fan of the series, Hitler searching for relics of spiritual importance to Christians should be nothing new.  He is joined this time in his quest by Professor Basil Shaw (Toby Jones), who also falls into German hands.  The Nazi are busy packing the Lance and a horde of other priceless pieces for transport from the French Alps into Germany proper.  It is one of the scientists with them, a mathematician named Jürgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen), who points out that the ancient weapon is a fake.  Instead, with the locomotive getting underway and Indiana Jones struggling to catch it, he overhears Jürgen mention a more powerful treasure in their possession: the Antikythera.  Before continuing, I will put on my historian cap for a moment and tell you that this is a real thing, as well as being the name of the Greek island near which it was found in 1900.  Scholars, who are just as susceptible to the lures of sensational headlines as anyone else, sometimes refer to the mechanical device as the world’s first computer.  It was more likely used to chart the movement of stars and help plot the course of ships than anything else.  Because this is an Indiana Jones movie, it is now a device of immense power, invented by the ancient Greek philosopher Archimedes (Nasser Memarzia), being able to calculate the locations of riffs in time and space according to Jürgen.  This means time travel is now being introduced to the world of our favorite archaeologist, my friends.  If you know anything at all about history, you will note that Nazis having access to such a device would be bad, even if it is only half of it.  Luckily, Indiana Jones and Professor Shaw are able to prevent the Germans from keeping it, making it back to their own side with the machine.  We then fast forward twenty-five years and we find an Indiana Jones on the verge of retirement from Hunter College in New York City.  He is a shadow of his former self, drinking too much because his wife, Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), has left them in the wake of their son dying in the Vietnam War, and yelling at the kids next door for their dang rock n’ roll music.  He manages to get himself together to make it to his last class and endure a half-hearted retirement party before heading to the nearest bar.  It is there that he is approached by his Goddaughter, Helena Shaw (Phoebe Waller-Bridge), and somebody who he had not seen in years.  Yes, she is Professor Shaw’s offspring.  He had died obsessed with the Antikythera, but taught Helena everything he could about it before he passed away.  She is also there to take the device from Indiana Jones, who has the half they took from the Nazis hidden amongst his collection at the school.  Also after the device is Jürgen, who has helped the United States land a man on the moon (this should ring a bell for you true history nerds out there), and now wants to conquer time.  There is some vague connection with Helena, as well as the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), but the movie disappointingly makes none of it concrete.  Instead, Helena gets away with the half of the Antikythera, while Indiana Jones must deal with Jürgen’s henchmen.  Indiana Jones manages as only he can, and tracks Helena down to Tangiers in Morocco where she is attempting to sell the ancient device.  Jürgen is not far behind, and in the next action set piece, he is able to re-obtain the Antikythera.  Though Helena appears to have a mercenary attitude towards Archimedes dial, she grudgingly agrees to work with her Godfather, who wants everything to end up in a museum.  Regardless, they come to the conclusion that another piece of the puzzle must still be on an unexplored portion of the boat on which the first half was found.  This means Indiana Jones hiring his old friend, Renaldo (Antonio Banderas), to dive on the wreck to get it.  Once again, Jürgen tracks them down, and once again, Helena and Indiana Jones escape.  This time, their travels take them to Syracuse, the Sicilian city (it was founded as a Greek colony) in which Archimedes lived, in order to find the other half of the Antikythera.  Would it surprise you that Jürgen follows them there, too.  They meet at Archimedes tomb where the other half of the ancient device is uncovered.  Jürgen joins the sections, and now he knows where the next fissure in time will open.  His plan is to go back to 1939 to correct the mistakes the Nazis made, and he is taking a seriously wounded Indiana Jones with him.  Helena manages to sneak onto the German plane they plan to use for this, too.  The problem is that Jürgen’s calculations prove incorrect, and they end up in the third century BC as Syracuse is being besieged by the Romans.  The two ancient armies take the planes as dragons, managing to down Jürgen’s with him still inside.  Helena and Indiana Jones bail out before the crash, and he wants to die there in ancient Syracuse with Archimedes.  Helena, having grown fond of her Godfather, instead knocks him out and he wakes up back in modern New York.  Further, Marion is there and they have a reunion as the film ends.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is okay, but it goes careening off the tracks.  First of all, it should be pointed out that Harrison Ford will be eighty-one years old on July 13^th.  Since principal shooting began in 2021, it means that Ford was already in his late seventies.  I am not trying to be agist, but there are times that Indiana Jones looks like the beleaguered old man that he is in actuality.  Of course, for the World War II parts, they digitally de-aged the octogenarian, and that part worked well.  Yet, they still have grandpa doing things that would probably result in anyone else that age breaking a hip.  It was the first sign that things might be amiss.  The bigger part is when they go through with time travel. Now, I know Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) dealt with aliens.  My counter to that is that it is in keeping with the times in which the film was set.  Along with the Soviet Union being the bad guys, it helps contextualize the era in which an older Indiana Jones operated.  I was also happy with seeing him marry Marion Ravenwood and that be the end of it.  I think part of the reason why Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny was made was because people complained about what they perceived as the silliness of the previous film without taking the time to understand why those elements might be in it.  With this one, they brought back the Nazis but took things in a different direction with the time travel.  I was okay with this idea as long as it remained theory.  Then, there are Helena and Indiana Jones looking down at Archimedes’ remains, and there is a wristwatch on the skeleton.  Internally, I said uh-oh.  Then everyone flies off to the third century BC, and you have Jürgen’s henchmen firing indiscriminately into the armies.  This is all without considering the absurdity of a time travel device being invented by Archimedes.  The moment it gets back on track is when Helena slugs Indiana Jones.  Our favorite archaeologist is getting carried away with the craziness until his Goddaughter literally knocks some sense into him.

My Catholic sense were first piqued in Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny when we see the Lance of Longinus.  Most assuredly, this item exists, though there are a couple of different claims to the genuine article.  As odd as it might seem for a Christian to say this, I was relieved when it turned out to be a fake.  There have been other films that have had plots revolving around the so-called mystical powers of this ancient weapon.  It is all a bunch of nonsense, though there are actual historical reports of people doing some incredible things with it by their side.  The thing about it, or any other religious item, is that it is meant to draw one to God, to build faith in His promise.  They are not meant to grant its bearer the ability to never experience a physical death or fly or whatever.  Then again, this is Indiana Jones, and it seems that anything is possible.  Another moment that interested me is when Helena wonders what it means to be a Goddaughter.  In a sense, this speaks to Indiana Jones asking a fundamental question as to who he really is after all these years.  Is he still the adventurer, which seems apparent, or is he somebody who can nurture a family.  Godparents in the Christian sense are meant to be a spiritual companion and role-model for their Godchildren.  Because Hollywood is anti-God most of the time, the role has become more of a special friend, or full-on parent when needed.  Indiana Jones is clearly not dealing well with the loss of his son.  God brings him a second chance with Helena.  It is nice, too, that he gets to start over with Marion.

There are a lot of references to previous entries in the franchise in Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, and I was pleased that Marion was among them.  Some of these are shoehorned in, like the appearance of Indiana Jones’ old friend Sallah (John Rhys-Davies).  The movie needs some reason for him to be in the film, so they give a throw-away line about how Indiana Jones helped Sallah’s family relocate to New York City.  On balance, it all makes for a thoroughly mediocre film.  I did not hate it, and I was glad to see Helena punch Indiana Jones outside ancient Syracuse, but I could have done without all that silliness.