When I was a kid growing up in the 1980s, I was as into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as any other young one at that time.  I watched the original animated show (1987-1996), I collected the action figures, and I even bought the forgettable record that they developed.  This last bit, if memory serves me correctly, was part of the promotion that went along with their first major motion picture, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990).  I recall eagerly devouring that film, along with many other boys my age.  It only fed my appetite for the sequel, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991).  As we all do, I grew up.  They made a third in the series that did not interest me.  Subsequent attempts to revive the franchise cinematically seemed too silly to be tolerated.  And then along came Seth Rogen’s take on our beloved four with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem.  I am a nostalgic fellow.  As such, I feel the marketing for it was directly aimed at me.  This version is animated and it features a soundtrack that could largely be found in my own collection in the 1990s.  This all served to get me into the theater.  Now to tell you if there was any reason to stick around.

We do not immediately see the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem.  Instead, we start with a group of armed men in the employ of the Techno Cosmic Research Institute (TCRI).  Their desire is to continue to work on genetic mutations.  One of their prized scientists, Dr. Baxter Stockman (voiced by Giancarlo Esposito), has gone rogue, developing a substance called mutagen that can turn animals into anthropomorphic versions of themselves.  He wants to create a family for himself because he had never had one of his own.  Unfortunately, those aforementioned gunmen burst into Dr. Stockman’s basement laboratory.  In the ensuing fracas, Dr. Stockman is killed and the mutagen oozes into the sewers.  As our title team’s father, a humanoid rat named Splinter (voiced by Jackie Chan), later explains, he found the four baby turtles covered in the green goo.  They then become human-like as well, as does Splinter, though at their corresponding ages.  As a rodent and shunned by society, Splinter had endeavored to keep the turtles hidden in the sewer.  Additionally, he taught them how to be ninjas to protect them from, among other things, being captured and milked.  The teenaged versions of these cold-blooded creatures think this notion is ridiculous, particularly since they do not have nipples.  For the moment, they mainly use their martial arts skills to surreptitiously obtain the basic items anyone needs to survive.  Being members of the title age group, they do not always follow Splinter’s strict orders to go and immediately return, much to their nominal leader Leonardo’s (voiced by Nicolas Cantu) worry.  Still, even Leonardo is fascinated by the human world, and the consensus among them is that it would be nice to simply be accepted as normal.  Oddly, their version of normal means going to high school, but then again, they do live in a literal sewer.  They do things as a group that many would consider regular, even if it does involve the use of deadly weapons, like making TikToks.  When you combine the ability to make videos with their ninja implements, you get a throwing star inadvertently lodged into April O’Neil’s (voiced by Ayo Edebiri) scooter helmet.  As she looks up at the potential source of this attack, thieves make off with her moped.  Because Leonardo develops an instant crush on her, he decides to go after the culprits, bringing his brothers with him.  The turtles burst into what is essentially a chop shop and have to use their martial skills against real opponents for the first time.  Their more hotheaded member, Raphael (voiced by Brady Noon), is all about it.  These activities come with more revelations.  First, it is a meeting with an actual human who, after the initial shock of seeing mutants, easily befriends the turtles.  The other is a connection to a shadowy monster known as Superfly (voiced by Ice Cube).  Because April dreams of one day being a reporter, and Superfly’s activities have caused her high school’s prom to be canceled, she is determined to find out the identity of the perpetrator in order to regain some credibility among her peers.  The turtles are also inspired by her story.  With her help, they believe they can stop this criminal activity, thereby becoming heroes and earning the acceptance of society.  Thus, without telling Splinter who they assume would not approve of this partnership, they begin working the leads that April brings them while she records their efforts to put together into a sort of highlight reel.  What becomes clear is that Superfly is building some kind of device.  When the turtles finally infiltrate Superfly’s crew, it is in the middle of them putting together the final pieces.  They are also surprised to find that they are all mutants, each the result of Dr. Stockman’s experiments.  Like the turtles, they are shunned by humans.  Hence, they are on board with Superfly’s plan to build a device to mutate all the animals and make humans into the lesser species.  The turtles try to stop this from happening, but instead end up being captured by TCRI.  It takes April convincing Splinter to help them for our heroes to be rescued.  Now it is back to stopping Superfly, with Splinter imploring the other mutants to not go through with Superfly’s plan.  They all team up to stop the villain, though this temporarily backfires, with Superfly being thrown into the sea with mutagen and becoming a Godzilla-like creature.  In this form, Superfly attacks New York city, but it is the turtles and the other mutants who are blamed.  April must now go on live television to tell the city the truth.  Seeing this, everyone pitches in to help the turtles and other mutants to defeat Superfly.  In the end, Leonardo’s and the others’ hopes are fulfilled and they are allowed to go to high school.

If you are reading this review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem with some familiarity with past versions of this group, you might be confused.  Specifically, you are probably thinking, wait, no Shredder?  The turtles’ classic archnemesis does briefly appear in a mid-credits scene.  All the same, there is something different about our favorite turtles in a half shell.  You can chalk some of this up for me as being part of my desire to not have anything from my childhood changed.  I think this is a large part of why people rage against the new Star Wars films, but that is a separate issue.  Arguably, the biggest difference here is in the title character’s origin story, primarily as it concerns Splinter.  The mutant rat in previous iterations was a pet of a ninja master, and learned everything about the martial arts, not to mention the wisdom, from his owner in Japan.  After his mutation, and finding the turtles, he passed on his knowledge to them.  In this one, Splinter is your common sewer rodent.  Because he fears the human world, he teaches his adopted turtle children to fight . . . from watching YouTube videos?  Huh?  Now, I get that this is aimed at kids.  At the same time, I do not see how one becomes that skilled from watching videos on the internet.  Go ahead, call me crazy for nitpicking such a movie.  At the same time, a premise should make at least some sense.

What I can understand better is the motivation of the characters in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem.  They desire acceptance, and this is common among humans and mutants alike.  It is also not unique among the young, as one would expect with the turtles.  Though Splinter claims to despise humans, and says his motivation for teaching his children to be ninjas is to keep them safe from the rest of the world, he, too, wants to be among the humans.  There is an important moment in the film that speaks to how Faith helps one better manage such situations.  As Superfly’s rampage reaches its zenith, and the people of New York are turning against the turtles and the other mutants, there is the sense that maybe Superfly is right.  Humans will always hate them, so why should they fight Superfly and protect them.  The decision they come to in continuing their struggle against Superfly is because it is the right thing to do.  Making the correct the decision in the face of overwhelming obstacles is one place where Faith can make a difference in your life.  God has a special place for those who do make those difficult decisions.  They are called martyrs.  The common way of thinking about such people is that they lay down their lives for a cause.  This does not have to be the case.  The important part is seeing your path forward in light of moving closer to God, and not hesitating under any circumstances to continuing taking steps down it.  Martyrdom is a surefire way of doing so.  While this is not in the turtles’ calculus, it is at least comforting to see that they are able to stand up for a just cause at such a young age.

In summary, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is a serviceable movie.  It is not as good as everyone seems to think it is, but it could be worse.  It could also be the best film about the title team, though my childhood might argue with you.  It could be either skipped or watched, with no bad decision to be made.  Please forgive my lack of a definitive recommendation.  It is simply mediocre.