The one thing I will give credit to the original Cars (2006) for is its simplicity.  Since the Mouse insisted on the insanity of an Earth where motor vehicles are people, they did not delve too far into the mechanics of how such a world worked.  The story focused on Lightning McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson) learning to be less prideful and appreciating the little things.  I can get behind that message if not the manner in which it is told.  Now, I realize that Disney seldom limits itself in terms of how far it will take a concept.  Still, I submit to you that Cars 2 (2011) is a fever dream even by their standards.  My main take away from this specific example of their madness was: how did these automobiles create all this stuff without hands.  Oh, I am just getting started.

Instead of bringing us immediately back to the small town that time forgot from the original, Radiator Springs, Cars 2begins with British MI-6 agent Finn McMissile (voiced by Michael Caine) infiltrating a grouping of oil rigs in the Pacific Ocean.  And immediately came the sighs for me.  The *ahem* intelligence officer is there to learn about a new device developed by the evil Professor Zündapp (voiced by Thomas Kretschmann).  Finn snaps some pictures of a mysterious looking camera before being discovered and forced to escape.  And finally we switch to Radiator Springs.  We meet Mater (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy), a tow truck with all the expected Southern stereotypes, eagerly awaiting the return of his best friend, the race car Lightning, from another Piston Cup winning season.  Though they are able to have their fun reunion, Lightning is eager to spend some time with his, um . . . girlfriend(?) Sally Carrera (voiced by Bonnie Hunt).  Such is Mater’s disappointment that he decides to crash their dinner disguised as a waiter.  It is in this capacity that he overhears a television announcement from Sir Miles Axelrod (voiced by Eddie Izzard) proclaiming his new alternative fuel, Allinol.  In order to prove its effectiveness, he has proposed a globe spanning grand prix inviting all the best racers to compete using Allinol.  Joining the program is Francesco Bernoulli (voiced by John Turturro), and Italian F-1 car.  His taunting of Lightning, Sally showing an interest in the open wheel car, and Mater calling into the show to defend Lightning, all combine in Lightning agreeing to enter the competition.  All Lightning’s friends at Radiator Springs give him their blessing to go, but he decides to bring Mater along with him.  Their first stop is Tokyo, Japan, where the initial race is to be held.  The night before, Lightning and Mater attend a fancy party for the entrants hosted by Sir Axelrod.  Mater’s uncouth Southern dimwittedness lead to Lightning becoming embarrassed by Mater, and asking that the tow truck keep his distance.  Doing so takes Mater into the bathroom, which is a thing for some reason, where he has an encounter with Rod “Torque” Redline (voiced by Bruce Campbell), an American Spy Car.  Torque is there to pass along information to Finn about Professor Zündapp’s activities, but is met by henchmen instead.  Trapped by the Professor’s cronies, Torque surreptitiously plants the important material on Mater, who goes about his business blissfully unaware.  Finn had sent Holley Shiftwell (voiced by Emily Mortimer), who is typically not a field agent (I really cannot believe the way I am forced to describe this stuff), to retrieve the item.  Mater mistakes her advances for a date, but one that will have to wait until the next day.  During the race, Mater confuses Holley, who is tapping into the pit crew’s communication, for her invitation for them to spend time together.  This causes Mater to inadvertently give Lightning bad advice and lose the race.  Lightning responds to this by telling Mater to go home.  Instead of doing that, Mater is recruited into British intelligence to help figure out the cause of the cars breaking down at the races.  We know that it is an electro-magnetic pulse embedded into a camera because we see the Professor use it to kill Torque.  I am not sure what else you would call what happens to the American spy car.  Finn and Holley equip Mater with your standard espionage equipment in order to infiltrate the group of cars that Finn recognizes from the oil rigs.  They meet in the same Italian city as where the next race is to take place.  Once inside, Mater learns that there is another car behind the Professor, who is using the “accidents” at the races in order to convince the world to remain committed to fossil fuels.  Before he can find out the identity of this new vehicle, Mater haphazardly uses the gatling guns (you read that correctly) mounted into him to escape.  Meanwhile, Lightning has had a change of heart regarding Mater, and believes he sees his tow truck pal in the crowd.  Mater is there, yelling that they are out to kill him, but is captured before there is any real interaction between them.  Finn and Holley have been caught, too, and the three of them are tied up inside Big Bentley (sigh) in London so that they can witness Lightning be destroyed during the final race.  Mater uses some more of his new gadgets to get free and speeds down to the track to save Lightning.  It is only when he gets down there that he realizes, thanks to Holley, that his air filter has been replaced with a bomb.  It takes a mad dash through the British capital, ending up at Buckingham Palace in front of the queen, before the real enemy is revealed.  Unsurprisingly, it is Sir Axelrod, who is forced to voice deactivate the bomb or risk having it blow up in his face with Mater standing over him.  Everyone is impressed with the old truck, including the queen, who knights him.  And they all return to Radiator Springs to live happily ever after . . . until Cars 3.

To recap some of what happens in Cars 2, there are guns, explosions, cars falling to their apparent death, torture, acts of terrorism, corporate espionage, and other adult themes in a movie that is supposed to be aimed at kids.  I guess racing is not good enough.  We have to have some evil overlord essentially trying to take over the world.  Honestly, I do not have a firm idea of how to approach this one from a Catholic perspective.  It is more of a spy thriller than a kid’s film.  Yet, it tries to do both, and fails in each instance.  The lessons to draw from it would be easier to identify if it were one or the other.  The closest I can come is Lightning learning to accept Mater as he is.  This sounds like a decent enough Christian idea, though it is not the best way of approaching the ones for whom we care.  The Bible, rather, encourages us to gently correct our loved ones, not to sit idly by as they continue to make mistakes.  I suppose, if nothing else, you can look at Lightning’s actions at every turn as the opposite of what you should do.  While they are in Japan, he does not approach his friend in a Christ-like manner, getting impatient and telling Mater to leave.  By the end, he has reverted to simply letting Mater be Mater, no matter the trouble it might cause.  God did not do this with His closest friends, the Disciples, and neither should you do the same with yours.  There is a loving way you can bring up difficult matters with your family and friends.  It also does not have to lead to them accidentally joining British intelligence.

As with other recent Disney titles I have reviewed, I am just playing out the string here with Cars 2.  Normally, I say that while I may not understand these movies, there is nothing wrong with your little ones seeing them.  With this one, I would give it the recommendation to be avoided by all audiences.  Mater should never be toting machine guns, and you should never watch this movie.