For a notorious Disney curmudgeon like myself, I was surprised to enjoy one small aspect of Aladdin (1992).  I cannot emphasize enough how limited is what I liked about it, though it is a character that steals the show.  I am, of course, talking about the Genie (voiced by Robin Williams), the wish giving dweller of the magic lamp.  The rest is a bunch of nonsense, and slightly offensive to boot.  I would not be surprised to learn that it is banned in Middle Eastern countries. Further, it is a musical.  Once more for the record, I cannot abide musicals.  All the same, Robin Williams is worth the price of admission . . . or suffering through the rest.

Unfortunately, we have to sit through a bunch of crap in Aladdin before we get to the Genie.  There is an opening musical number that is supposed to set the Arabian scene, but is more successful in shoving a bunch of Middle Eastern stereotypes down your throat.  What is the bare minimum that we anyone knows about that region?  Camels, sand, hookahs, heat, markets, etc., right?  Check, check, check, check, and check.  There are more, but we move out to the middle of the dessert where the sorcerer Jafar (voiced by Jonathan Freeman), and his talking parrot sidekick Iago (voiced by Gilbert Gottfried), are attempting to access the Cave of Wonders.  There is only one wonder within it that Jafar seeks, and that is the lamp that imprisons the Genie.  Whoever possesses the object is given mastery over the Genie, receiving three wishes in the process.  Because Jafar seeks power and to usurp the Sultan (voiced by Douglas Seale), he does not have the purity of heart to enter the cave.  Neither does the lackey that Jafar forces to go for him, resulting in the lion’s head orifice to snap shut on the would-be thief.  Meanwhile, back in the Sultan’s capital of Agrabah, we are finally introduced to the eponymous character (voiced by Scott Weinger).  He is your prototypical “street urchin,” penniless and stealing enough food to get by with his pet monkey Abu (voiced by Frank Welker).  Because of the way he lives, he often has to dodge the authorities.  Though he is poor, he has a perch that overlooks the palace where he dreams of a better life.  In the confines of those walls lives the Sultan’s daughter, Princess Jasmine (voiced by Linda Larkin).  The law of the land states that she must marry before her next birthday, and that is in a few days.  To her father’s increasing anxiety, she finds each one of the self-important suitors that strut their way into the palace to be ridiculous, and they are all sent away within moments of meeting her.  When the Sultan reminds Princess Jasmine of her duties, she complains that she wants to marry someone she chooses, and for love.  The matter is dropped for the moment, and early in the morning she decides to do something she has never done: sneak out of the palace.  Unsurprisingly, Princess Jasmine crosses paths in the market with Aladdin, who is immediately smitten with her.  Because of her lack of knowledge about how to function in normal society, she gives a hungry child a piece of fruit, which is taken as stealing.  Before she can have her hand chopped off, Aladdin intervenes and they spend some time with one another.  As their relationship begins to unfold, Jafar is busy hypnotizing the Sultan into giving the evil wizard what he needs to find the person who can gain access to the Cave of Wonders for him.  Go ahead, guess who it is.  Thus, he sends guards out to seize Aladdin before he can plant a kiss on Princess Jasmine.  Seeing her outrage over this incident, Jafar informs her that he has been summarily executed, which devastates her.  Of course, this is a ruse, and Jafar dresses himself as an old man to trick Aladdin into assisting with his goal of retrieving the lamp.  Once inside, Aladdin and Abu are given one rule: touch nothing other than the map.  I guess this order does not apply to the magic carpet, which decides to help the two to escape when they are double crossed by Jafar.  Further, though they survive the collapse of the subterranean area when Abu breaks the rules, they are now trapped.  Their fortunes are turned when Abu reveals that he had held onto the lamp instead of handing it to Jafar.  Aladdin gives it a rub and out comes the Genie.  The magical being also effects their exit from the cavern without him using one of his three wishes.  Because Aladdin believes that he must be a prince to win Princess Jasmine’s heart, his first official wish is to become a member of royalty.  It is thus with great fanfare that he enters Agrabah as Prince Ali Ababwa.  Princess Jasmine presumes it is another empty-headed fool that wants her for money and position.  Jafar is not pleased because he had pivoted to conning the Sultan into giving Princess Jafar to him in marriage.  Thus, after the impossible magic carpet ride around the world that convinces Princess Jasmine that Prince Ali Ababwa is really her Aladdin, Jafar once more devises a way to wreck a good thing.  He uses Iago to sneak in and steal the lamp, thus transferring the Genie’s powers to himself.  Just before a nervous Aladdin can be shown off as the future sultan, Jafar takes his place and casts a spell that throws Aladdin far away.  Unfortunately for the sorcerer, the magic carpet went with Aladdin, and his rival is able to make it back to the palace.  Once there, Aladdin outwits Jafar by telling him that the only way he can be truly powerful is by being a genie, too.  However, this comes with the same rules by which all genies must abide, primarily having to live in a bottle.  Thus entrapped, everything is returned to as it had been.  Aladdin then uses his last wish to set the Genie free. Touched by this selflessness, the Sultan declares that Princess Jasmine can marry who she chooses.  Obviously, she picks Aladdin and they live happily ever after.

I chose Aladdin not simply because I am trying to complete all of the classic Disney animated films, but rather to speak to something that I have discussed in other reviews.  It is the way many people view God like the Genie: a magical, wish fulfilling being.  The comparisons are tempting.  God can do everything the Genie can, but we do not think of our Creator as being a lunatic (though in a fun way) like the Genie.  God gave us the creativity to invent stories like this one where we can have the Genie pretending to be a commentator for the parade bringing Prince Ali Ababwa into Agrabah.  I am willing to bet that there are those out there who would love for God to behave in this manner.  That could be fun, but for how long?  Life can be fun, but it is also serious.  We need God to sustain us through the good and bad, and that is not how the Genie operates.  The movie shows him being sympathetic to Aladdin, and it is great to see that attitude.  Yet, the key word here is “sustain.”  The source material Disney used for this film makes the genie to be more of a lesson that the secret to happiness and success is not something you gain from magic.  It is thus no mistake that you can only get three wishes, and you cannot ask for more.  God gives us much more than any of such being can give you.  He can provide eternal life with Him, which is a treasure beyond anything you see in this film.  To get it, it takes something more foundational to our very being, and that is Faith.

If there was a way to cut out the entirety of Aladdin save for the parts with the Genie, then I would rewatch it.  Call it the Genie cut.  Until that happens, I will do my best to forget about the rest of it, save for when Aladdin shares his bread with starving children.  That moment moved me.  The rest is garbage, and I do not recommend it.