Before there was Haunted Mansion, there was The Haunted Mansion (2003).  Before this, there was the Haunted Mansion and the Haunted Mansion.  The first is the most recent cinematic interpretation of a ride that originally opened in 1969 in Disneyland in California, was copied into the Magic Kingdom in Florida (and other later Disney parks as they opened) in 1971, and came to the silver screen for the first time in 2003.  Got it?  Good.  Whoever accused Disney of originality?  As I have already looked at the newest iteration (and The Legionnaire does not review theme park attractions), you are getting what I considered to be the better of the two film versions, made in 2003.

The opening credits to The Haunted Mansion set up a tragic tale that always seems to lead to souls hanging around the living.  Though we later learn their names, it has something to do with Elizabeth Henshaw (Marsha Thomason) taking her life when she cannot marry her lover, Edward Gracey (Nathaniel Parker).  He, in turn, hangs himself, and his vast estate falls into centuries’ long disrepair.  Who is it that you call to take care of land holdings?  Jim Evers (Eddie Murphy), real estate agent extraordinaire, certainly hopes it is him.  He is part of a duo with his wife, Sara Evers (Marsha Thomason), though he is far more dedicated to his work than her.  To illustrate this, she phones him while he is with a client to remind him of their upcoming anniversary dinner.  He uses it as a ruse to get the potential buyers to sign a contract.  Further, on his way to an evening with his wife, he stops to meet with another set of customers, and gets distracted by a third.  It all adds up to an annoyed wife, who he tries to placate with gifts, of the sweet and expensive variety.  She is less interested in the teddy bear and diamond watch, and more in spending time with him.  In the middle of this, she gets a call from a man named Ramsley (Terrence Stamp), who says that his master is interested in meeting her concerning his estate.  When Jim hears of a potential deal, he is quick to take the phone from Sara, but Ramsley reiterates that only his wife is wanted.  They do not let this strange conversation derail their plan to take their kids, Megan (Aree Davis) and Michael (Marc John Jeffries), to their favorite vacation spot as a family as part of Jim atoning for missing the anniversary dinner.  At the same time, the potential transaction is too much for Jim to pass, and he convinces Sara that they should go to the house to which Ramsley invited them, claiming it will only take twenty minutes.  Famous last words, no?  Upon their arrival, they find the dilapidated Gracey manor, and are, of course, unaware of the horrors that took place in it so long ago.  They are about to leave when a rain storm forces them to seek shelter inside, and this is when they meet the morose Ramsley for the first time.  He brings them in to see Edward, and he and Ramsley do their best to cover their disappointment over Sara not being unaccompanied.  Nonetheless, because the storm does not abate, Ramsley informs them that they must stay because the rain has flooded the road, preventing their departure.  The Evers are understandably creeped out, but Jim, ever the salesman, goes along with it.  The kids are put into a different room than their parents, and this is when things start to get crazy.  Upon a brief spat with Sara, Ramsley comes to take Jim to the library where Edward is supposedly waiting to discuss business.  The children are greeted by a glowing blue light that leads them into the attic.  As for Sara, she is the one who gets the real audience with Edward.  I should point out here that the plot lines diverge somewhat at this moment, so I will try to be brief in bringing them back together.  Jim accidentally finds a secret hallway that he follows to a room containing the green orb in which floats the head of Madame Leota (Jennifer Tilly).  As Jim is scared out his mind by Madame Leota, Megan and Michael find a painting of Elizabeth, who looks exactly like their mother.  They also get some assistance from sympathetic ghosts, Emma (Dina Spybey) and Ezra (Wallace Shawn).  When Jim finally stumbles upon his kids, it is Emma and Ezra who suggest that they talk to Madame Leota again about how to escape this growing nightmare.  Her riddles take them to a crypt outside of the mansion where there is a key.  Jim and Megan find the item okay, but the various skeletons come to life and attack them, making their escape difficult, especially when Jim inadvertently drops the key.  Still, they get out and back into the house, when Madame Leota reveals that the key is for a trunk, not a locked door.  Inside the ancient luggage is a note written by Elizabeth that proves that she did not kill herself.  Instead, she had been poisoned by Ramsley, who thought the growing love affair between her and Edward to be unsuitable.  Doing so had brought a curse upon those who inhabit these walls, forcing them to roam those halls until it is lifted.  Ramsley has an idea of how this can happen, and it involves having Sara marry Edward.  Obviously, Jim might have a say in the matter, but Ramsley uses his ghost magic to toss Jim outside and lock away Megan and Michael.  Ramsley then uses the kids as blackmail to get Sara to agree to the ceremony.  Jim is about to give up, blaming himself for the whole debacle, when he gets some encouragement from Madame Leota.  It is enough for him to drive his prized imported car through the outside wall and break up the wedding, but not before Sara had sipped from the poisoned cup that is to complete the unholy matrimony.  What saves the day is the blue ball that greeted the children, which turns out to be Elizabeth’s spirit.  She somehow revives Sara, which leaves Elizabeth and Edward to go to Heaven, but not before he gives the deed to the estate to Jim.  The curse is lifted, the other spirits move on, and the Evers can go on their vacation.

There are a lot of plot holes in The Haunted Mansion.  Even so, as I mentioned before, I like it better than the more recent treatment.  While it does not make much sense that Elizabeth’s spirit had apparently been in the house the entire time, the film seemed to have a point and, perhaps more importantly, a pace.  The pace is refreshing, but I will talk more about the point.  From a film studies’ perspective, the film is pretty simple: a group of people have to complete a set of tasks in order to escape danger.  As for the Catholic side of things, the point is Heaven.  There are a few tantalizing aspects that relate directly to the Faith, like talking about Purgatory and the existence of Heaven and hell.  They are not theologically sound representations, mind you.  Edward clearly committed suicide, which is problematic.  God’s grace can overcome anything, but it is difficult to imagine a scenario where such an act as taking one’s own precious life could be redeemable.  Then again, I am not God, and we should all be thankful that is the case.  Nonetheless, I am glad that the ultimate fate of the soul is treated in a vaguely Catholic manner.  One day, we will all die.  Something will happen at that moment, though even the Church has never given a definitive description of precisely what that experience will entail.  There are some things that we cannot know in this life, and the Church is pretty steadfast in this regard.  What we do know is that there is a Heaven and hell, and what we do in this life will help determine that eternal path.  What we see in the movie is mostly harmless wishful thinking.

As silly as The Haunted Mansion is, I am not sure why Disney decided to make a second version.  The first one stars Eddie Murphy, and it doubled its investment.  It was actually more successful at the box office than the more recent one. Thankfully for the Mouse, it has the money to burn.  For you, it does not take a lot of time for you to burn to watch this film.