Although I am happy for Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) by the end of He’s Just Not That Into You (2009), who also acts as the narrator, it is ultimately a horrific movie that does nothing for the advancement of civilization.  Those are bold statements, I know.  However, one of my goals in pointing out such things is to offer an alternative way of looking at our culture, and yes, that is a Catholic one.  One does not need to get deep into theology to see the awful toll exacted by the behavior of nearly of character experiences.  Premarital sex is largely to blame for these issues, and for at least two of them, it emotionally wrecks them.  Even those in stable relationships have issues in this regard.  The focus, if one could use that word here, is on relationships.  Remarkably in this ensemble mess there is a moment that underscores the theme to which I am calling your attention.  One of the characters (and given the number of them, please forgive me for not remembering which) comments on how in interactions between men and women, we confuse sex and love.  These two verbs are not meant to be stand-ins for one another, but expressions of a greater whole, and a gift from God.  Yet, as this film painfully underscores, the single-minded pursuit of what we think of love is really a question of when people will jump into bed with one another, with dire consequences.

It is Gigi who tells us first about what she means when she says He’s Just Not That Into You.  The onus early on seems to unfairly be on women because men are supposedly all Neanderthals that do not know how to express themselves.  This manifests itself as children, with women interpreting actions like punching and pushing to be signs that the boy is into the girl.  From here, the movie goes all over the place as it explores this issue through a number of different characters and their experiences.  As such, I am not going to be able to give you a synopsis in the linear fashion I prefer as that would lead to a disaster almost as frustrating as this movie.  Instead, I will give you a sort of brief dossier on each situation and where they end up when the credits begin to roll.  We will start with Gigi.  She goes on a date with Conor (Kevin Connolly), but he is exactly as the title suggests.  Despite them exchanging numbers, he has no intention of calling her.  After days of agonizing over him she tries ringing him, but to no avail.  This is because he is actually more into Anna (Scarlett Johansson).  Anna and Conor have been friends for a while, and they seem to occasionally have “benefits,” if I may use part of that distasteful term.  While eventually they briefly get together during the course of the movie, she is, again, as the title suggests . . . though, I guess, “she.”  Anyway, the person Anna spends most of her time pursuing is Ben (Bradley Cooper).  They meet in a grocery store line and she is charmed by his gentlemanly manners.  They get to talking and she finds out that he is in the music business.  As she is an aspiring singer, he offers to help her fledgling career.  There is a clear physical attraction even though he is married to Janine (Jennifer Connelly).  What makes matters worse is that Ben and Janine are in the process of continuing to build their life together.  They are remodeling a new house and talking about having kids.  These are events that she discusses with her co-workers, one of which is Gigi.  The other is Beth (Jennifer Aniston).  She has been dating Neil (Ben Affleck) for seven years, and they have been cohabitating for a good portion of that time.  When one of her sisters gets married, and suggests that if after being with a guy for that long with no ring means . . . well, see the title.  In turn, Beth decides to break up with Neil.  Ancillary to all this is Mary (Drew Barrymore).  She works for an ad agency and, like Gigi, is having trouble finding a guy.  Her connection to this group is Conor, who works as a realtor and uses Mary’s company to get word out about his business.  They meet by the end, and their sudden connection is tacked on for some reason.  If I were to hazard a guess, it is because Barrymore was an executive producer for the movie, and wanted something for her character to do.  Okay, now you have the field.  Now for their denouement.  Gigi gets a lot of relationship advice from Alex (Justin Long), who is Conor’s roommate.  He gives her insight into how men supposedly think, but in the process ends up falling in love with her.  Ben and Anna sleep with one another, with Ben promptly admitting it to Janine.  She tries to patch things up, but finds a pack of cigarettes amongst his things.  On top of the cheating, he is clearly lying about this habit, and it is what finally pushes her to divorce him.  It also ends with Anna when she is forced to hide in the closet of his office at work when Janine comes to also have sex with Ben, something he was about to do with Anna.  With Beth and Neil, he makes a surprise visit after her sister’s wedding.  This is welcome after all the questions she had been getting for not being married herself.  She takes him back, and once they return to their apartment together, he finally proposes.  The film ends with Alex and Gigi happily beginning their relationship.

If you are familiar with He’s Just Not That Into You, I challenge you to come up with a better plot description.  Anyway, once more, let us observe the problems with sex outside of marriage.  The Church calls for this act to remain between a married man and woman because intercourse is meant to be a sacrament where we take part in God’s procreative power.  That is not to say that all sex has to result in a baby.  At the same time, I would posit that the way the Church views these things elevates it beyond the mere hook-up culture that you see here on fully display.  It is most evident with the sad love triangle that develops between Anna, Ben, and Janine.  Even though Ben and Janine are married, she uses her body to cling to a relationship that is clearly not going in the right direction.  To make matters worse, this occurs while Anna is behind closed doors.  The result is a divorce, which is actually proper grounds for this situation from the Catholic perspective, and three severely emotionally wounded individuals.  The other problem with the way relationships are portrayed in the movie is the undue pressure everyone puts on themselves.  The worst is Gigi.  She is constantly misreading signs, and experiences a gender inequality that does not match in any respect with Catholic teaching.  People tend to look at what the Church says about gender roles as evidence of regressiveness.  Instead, they are just different.  Perhaps this is radical to say, but I would argue that modern views on gender inequality are the fault of the sexual revolution, not any attempt by Catholicism to keep women subordinate.

It could also be that He’s Just Not That Into You is a dated film.  Its references to the gay community border on being offensive.  The main lesson to take away from this film is that communication needs to be clear.  This is not to condone pre-marital sex if you are simply being open about talking about it.  I follow Church teaching on these matters.  In the meantime, this film can be safely avoided.