Just about the only memory I have from the first time I saw The Wedding Singer (1998) before rewatching it recently was of Ellen Albertini Dow, who plays Rosie, singing “Rapper’s Delight” by the Sugar Hill Gang.  I laughed back then, though I have a different perspective of such things now.  I would not call it cultural appropriation, exactly, but it is still problematic.  There are some other questionable themes in it that were seemingly more acceptable in the late 1990s, but are frowned upon today.  This is why comedies are tricky for audiences in this day-and-age.  Despite its flaws, it is one of a couple Adam Sandler films I can tolerate.  Coincidentally, the other also has Drew Barrymore in it, 50 First Dates (2004).

Unsurprisingly, the first scene in The Wedding Singer has Robbie Hart (Adam Sandler) performing the title job.  Robbie is a classic nice guy, endearing himself to many of the reception attendees.  Among those who notice him is Julia Sullivan (Drew Barrymore), who sees him helping a young man puke who drank for the first time.  She is a server at the banquet hall where the post-nuptials soiree is taking place.  Their conversation turns to their significant others.  In a week, Robbie is to be married to his fiancée Linda (Angela Featherstone).  Julia is engaged to Glenn Gulia (Matthew Glave), though she wonders if he will ever set a date.  We then jump to the day of Robbie’s wedding, and Linda does not show up for the ceremony.  A devastated Robbie returns to his sister Kate’s (Jodi Thelen) house, where he lives in the basement.  It is because of this domestic arrangement, and his low-income employment, that Linda decides to not go through with the marriage.  This explanation does little to help his spirits, nor does his best friend Sammy’s (Allen Covert) advice to go back to work.  Despite his depression, he does as Sammy suggests and it is a disaster.  It also is the next time Robbie sees Julia, who informs him that Glenn has finally given in and agreed to pick a day to be married.  Between this news and Linda’s reason for not wanting to be with him, Robbie feels he can no longer be the eponymous person.  Still, because everyone needs to work, his band begins taking gigs for other celebrations, which also conveniently use the same venues as the weddings.  This brings Robbie back into contact with Julia.  He is sufficiently recovered to offer her advice on her wedding planning, something she needs since Glenn has expressed zero interest in making any decisions for that day.  Because of Robbie’s kindness, Julia increasingly turns to him for help with making decisions.  He is somewhat of an expert given how many marriages he has witnessed.  During the time they spend together, though, a bond develops between them to the point that it is clear that they like each other more than they are willing to admit.  She is excited for her own big day, while he is too gentlemanly of a person to do anything to ruin the momentous occasion.  Things take a more serious turn when Julia is getting advice from her cousin, Holly Sullivan (Christine Taylor), as to the proper kiss after saying “I do.”  In the middle of their debate over how much tongue to use, Robbie arrives.  Holly convinces Julia to practice with Robbie.  Upon doing so, it is evident that the smooch conveyed a depth of feeling beyond a mere trial run for what Julia will do with Glenn.  Holly misinterprets it, though, and instead suggests that she go out with Robbie, and that they have a double date with Glenn and Julia.  At the bar where this takes place, Julia proceeds to get drunk, unable to handle seeing Holly with Robbie.  Holly then leaves with Julia when she needs to throw up some of her liquor, leaving Glenn alone with Robbie.  Robbie’s already confused feelings for Julia are given a boost when Glenn openly admits that he cheats on his fiancée.  Even then, Robbie will not do anything to jeopardize their relationship, and does not tell Julia about the infidelity.  Instead, when Holly finally realizes how Robbie feels about Julia, he takes her information about Julia’s supposed need for security and tries to get a job at the bank.  Saddened by being turned down, he confronts Julia about what he thinks is her materialistic attitude.  However, she had come to see him to give him a gift, making him feel like more of an idiot.  Regardless of this treatment, Julia is beginning to come around to accepting that she does not love Glenn, and that she has fallen for Robbie.  Yet again, though, they have bad timing.  He sees her through her window appearing to be happy in her wedding dress, when she had actually been daydreaming about him.  Then she comes to his place, only to find Linda answering his door.  In response, Julia decides to accept Glenn’s initial invitation of a wedding in Las Vegas, and together they head for the airport.  As soon as Robbie tells off Linda, and opts for clearing up any confusion once-and-for-all, he speeds to the airport and, with some help from Sammy, purchases a ticket for Las Vegas.  An offhand comment Robbie overhears from a flight attendant about being propositioned by a pig of a passenger lets him know that Glenn and Julia are on the same flight.  Thus, with the backing of the entire first-class section, Billy Idol (as himself) among them, Robbie gets on the intercom and plays an impromptu song for her.  The others chase Glenn away, and Julia and Robbie are finally free to admit their love for each other.  The final shot is of them getting married.  The end.

If there is one thing you can say about The Wedding Singer, apart from the previous two paragraphs, it is that it is about the most 1980s film you will ever see.  I am fine with this, and enjoyed hearing a few songs about which I had forgotten.  What I remember more readily are my rules for discernment, and how Robbie does not follow them.  I can relate to him, however.  Somebody in the film talks about how he had wanted to be married since he was in the third grade.  Truthfully, this is something I used to daydream about from an even younger age.  The problem is that there is little forethought put into a decision such as this, one that affects your entire life, when you have lived for so few years.  Robbie approaches this question in the same way as I did at that time.  Now, I know the Bible encourages us to be the children of God, and, in certain circumstances, act like them.  This may appear a simple commandment, but it does not mean an abandonment of discernment and prudence.  It takes dedicating some time to thinking things over.  To do this, often us Catholics will go on a retreat, or spend a considerable amount of time offering these decisions to the Lord.  Whatever number of days, weeks, months, or even years it takes to hear God’s voice in your life is the correct length to dedicate to these ideas.  If this were done by our main characters, they could have saved themselves a great deal of trouble.

The Wedding Singer does have its warts, but I recommend it all the same.  As I said in the introduction, it does not have many of the typical Sandler flick tropes.  That automatically makes it fine for me.