My favorite part of The Santa Clause 2 (2002) is when Toy Santa (Tim Allen) becomes a military dictator of the North Pole and decides every kid in the world deserves a lump of coal.  My reason for enjoying this admittedly dark plot twist is due in large part to my growing distaste for this magical wish elf that has hijacked one of the holiest days on the calendar.  This feeds into my least favorite part of the film, which is when the so-called real Santa Claus (Tim Allen) declares that if he did not exist, there would be no Christmas.  Incorrect, Kris Kringle, and eventually I will tell you why this is the case.  In the meantime, please enjoy my explanation of how we arrived at this predicament.

With The Santa Clause 2, Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) has settled into his role as the legendary gift giver.  From his secret base at the top of the world (and that is no exaggeration), he keeps his elves busy making toys while ensuring that they remain hidden from the world.  Their location is almost discovered by a passing airplane, and their countermeasures are almost rendered useless by Curtis the Elf (Spencer Breslin).  His music playing to help productivity is heard by instruments used by the crew above until he is found and stopped.  He also has bad news for Santa.  As much as Scott enjoys his job, there is one more aspect of the contract about which he is not yet aware.  It says that he must be married by the next Christmas Eve or he will no longer be Santa Claus.  The problem is that there are four weeks until the big day, and he should be busy finishing the toys that are to be delivered.  The other issue is his son back home, Charlie Calvin (Eric Lloyd).  He has been waging a personal war against his school’s principal, Carol Newman (Elizabeth Mithcell), who chooses not to decorate the school for the holidays.  You can see why this might upset the son of Jolly Ol’ St. Nick, though this does not justify his actions.  Thus, Scott sees the need for being in two places at once, and he is not St. Padre Pio.  Look that one up.  To solve this dilemma, Curtis develops a machine that will make a toy replica of Santa, which is how we get the aforementioned Toy Santa.  It looks a little off and behaves strangely, but Scott pays it no mind as he rides his reindeer Comet (voiced by Bob Bergen) back to regular civilization so that he can attend a meeting with his ex-wife and her husband, Dr. Neil (Judge Reinhold) and Laura Miller (Wendy Crewson), Charlie, and Carol.  As he goes forth, he begins to look less like Santa and more like the Scott that originally took the gift giving job.  He is also given a watch to keep track of the remaining magic he has before his transformation to a mere mortal is complete.  Once he has cleared up the matter at school, it is time for him to find a date.  His first one is with Tracy (Molly Shannon), a Santa Claus enthusiast.  She is unaware of his identity, and it still goes horribly.  If you predicted this, and that things would swing back around to Carol, then you have seen a lot of movies like me.  The impetus for them becoming more familiar is, once again, Charlie.  He is caught spray painting disparaging things about her on lockers in the hall.  Instead of suspension, Scott suggests community service.  Carol agrees, but Scott must go with his son.  This turns out to be getting rid of graffiti at a local park, a project in which the principal is also involved.  During this, they get to chatting, and she witnesses a little girl instinctively come up to him and ask him questions like he is Santa.  His handling of the situation impresses her, as does his impromptu visit to her house, earning him an invitation to the faculty Christmas party.  Unfortunately, the use of the magic to get there by turning his car into a sleigh, and then a little more to enliven the soiree, means he is running low on his reserves to keep his position at the North Pole.  What he is unaware of is that Toy Santa is busy undermining his authority.  While it starts off relatively innocent, its literal interpretation of Santa’s book of rules turns it into a Nazi, for lack of a better term.  Specifically, he takes a look at the naughty and nice lists, and determines that every little infraction by the children of the world means that they are all deserving of a lump of coal.  When the elves rebel, he constructs an army of life-sized toy soldiers to impose his will.  See?  Nazi is not such a crazy description after all, is it?  Back in the real world, things are going well between Carol and Scott until it is time for him to reveal his real job.  Because she had told him the painful Christmas memories that she has, she takes his admission as mocking and asks him to leave.  Charlie is upset with him too, feeling betrayed by the time he has been spending with his hated principal and tired of having to keep his dad’s secret.  For the moment, Scott is speechless, but he does not remain so for long because Curtis comes to tell Santa about the situation in the North Pole.  It comes down to Charlie’s little step-sister, Lucy Miller (Liliana Mumy), to remind her big step-brother that he cannot stay mad at his dad forever.  Thus, he goes to Carol to tell the truth, which reinforces what Scott had admitted to her the previous night.  Thus, they all converge on the North Pole to put an end to Toy Santa’s reign of tyranny.  Once this is accomplished, he asks her to be his Mrs. Claus, and she accepts.

I have said this in a couple of Christmas movie reviews, and touched on it already in this discussion of The Santa Clause 2, but Christmas does not exist because of Santa Claus.  Now, to be fair, the majority of people watching this movie would hear such a line as Scott gives toward the end when he essentially uses the notion that the holiday will go away and kids will not get their gifts to pressure Carol into marrying him, and not think anything of it.  In the context of the movie, it is kind of funny.  No pressure, just the fate of the world hinging on your answer, Carol.  The problem is that the world, and especially Christmas, would get along just fine with Santa Claus.  Unfortunately, in this day and age it is hard to imagine such a world.  Yet, consider how long the Catholic Church has been around as compared to when the holiday got taken over by the “Ho-ho-ho-er” in a red suit.  No matter the actual day on which it was celebrated, for thousands of years Christendom marked the birth of Jesus without Santa Claus.  I would also point out that while Kris Kringle has a vague tie to St. Nicholas of Myra, a Turkish bishop from the fourth century, Santa is largely a protestant invention.  Indeed, I have Catholic friends who started families and stressed how they were going to handle this entrenched mythical person and his connection with this Holy Day, or Holy Night if you prefer a carol reference.  The reason for the worry is that Santa has, unfortunately, largely replaced God in importance for the holiday.  Again, I am not saying anything original here, but it struck me while watching this movie just how god-like are the powers with which Scott is imbued.  You may scoff at what I am saying, but it is borderline blasphemy.

To add insult to injury, The Santa Clause 2 gives you all the other mythical, holiday specific creatures as being real, like the Easter Bunny (Jay Thomas) and Mother Nature (Aisha Tyler).  There is also Father Time (Peter Boyle), a figure often associated with God.  Again, I could be slightly off for saying so, but the fact that such things seem so common place is why church attendance continues to dip.  Outside of these things, the movie is perfectly innocent, but as I cannot ignore these factors I say avoid this one.