Any project left undone can be an irritant for me.  When I picture entering religious life, this aspect gives me pause.  To be clear, I am not officially discerning becoming a monk, but one does sometimes daydream, or at least this one does.  In lieu of those wandering thoughts, I often watch videos about the lives of female and male religious.  There is a particular one that offers a glimpse into the Mount St. Mary’s Trappistine community in Wrentham, Massachusetts.  As an aside, if you ever want the best chocolate you have ever had, order some from their shop.  They also have a short documentary I have viewed a number of times that brings you to their side of the threshold called Hidden: A Life All for God (2018), which you can see on YouTube.  One of the nuns talks about how the discipline of prayer, which calls them away from an activity when the bells ring, was hard for her.  As strange as this might seem, I relate this to how I choose movies.  If I see that a film I reviewed has a sequel, I feel duty bound to look at it.  This happened yesterday with Your Christmas or Mine 2, and now you are getting The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two (2020).  Does any of this have anything to do with the plot?  You will have to read on to find out.

The first character we meet in The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two is Belsnickel (Julian Dennison).  My readers from Germany might recognize that name, apparently.  I did not, so I will tell you before we get to the reveal that he is a former elf who once worked closely with Santa Claus (Kurt Russell) in making toys for the good boys and girls of the world.  However, the helper grew tired of his boss’s so-called obsession with Christmas, and began to rebel.  So extreme did Belsnickel’s behavior become that he turned into a human, whom he despises, and was exiled from the North Pole.  Now, from his secret base, which is . . . somewhere, he plots to find a way back into Santa’s village to bring down Jolly Ol’ St. Nick.  He cannot simply walk up to it because, incredibly, the star that perches atop the Yule time tree in the center of town is powered by the Star of Bethlehem.  Okay. . . .  At any rate, Belsnickel believes he has found his answer with young Kate Pierce (Darby Camp), a true believer.  It has been two years since her and her brother, Teddy Pierce (Judah Lewis), helped Santa save December 25^th.  In a departure from their usual seasonal activities for the Pierces, they are in Cancun.  This is because their mom, Claire Pierce (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), has a new boyfriend.  His name is Bob Booker (Tyrese Gibson), and while he is a good guy, he can never replace Kate’s late father, Doug Pierce, and she lets him know in passive and plain aggressive ways.  Seeing her growing discontent is Belsnickel.  The clincher comes when she hatches a plan to run away back to their home near Boston, Massachusetts.  With Bob and Claire conveniently receiving a trip to view Mayan ruins for a day, it leaves the kids, including Bob’s son Jack Booker (Jahzir Bruno), at the resort in Teddy’s charge.  The plan is for the young ones to stay in the Kid’s Club, but Kate makes a break for the airport shuttle, which is driven by Belsnickel.  Jack follows Kate, and they are both hurtled into a wormhole that takes them to the North Pole.  Before they freeze to death, they are found by Santa and brought to the village.  There they are cared for by Mrs. Claus (Goldie Hawn), who is delighted to have children as their guests.  While Jack and Kate are given a tour of the magical environs, Belsnickel puts in motion his revenge plot.  Because Jack and Kate are enthused about being there, especially Kate, who does not want to leave, they end up sleeping over, so to speak, with the promise of returning in the morning.  It is at this moment that Belsnickel strikes.  His main goal is the star atop the tree, which he plans on using to build his rival operation in the South Pole.  Right. . . .  Unfortunately, the glowing object is destroyed in the fight with Belsnickel.  Because of the magic it yields, which powers the town, Santa must now find a replacement.  The solution lies in him returning to his Turkish roots where he first met the elves and became the magical gift giver of last millennia and a half.  Kate goes with him.  Staying behind is Jack.  He helps Mrs. Claus to nurse one of the reindeer injured in Belsnickel’s attack.  She is in need of assistance because the former elf has poisoned his brethren with Elf’s bane, which drives them insane.  In order to counteract the substance, the normally timid Jack must brave the wilds of the North Pole to find the antidote.  As for Kate and Santa, though their mission is successful, they are accosted by Belsnickel in a sled of his own, who manages to swipe the new star before they can return to the North Pole.  Kate and Santa are further thwarted when Belsnickel plants a device on Santa’s sleigh that causes it to travel back to the Logan Airport in Boston, Massachusetts . . . in 1990.  I wish I was making this stuff up.  The gadget that brings them there runs on AAA batteries.  Thus, while Kate attempts to obtain the fresh cells, Jolly Ol’ St. Nick puts on a musical number to increase the Christmas Spirit.  Unfortunately, Kate’s money is not recognized since currency looked different at that time, and her attempt at theft is immediately caught.  While detained, she meets a younger version of her dad (Sunny Suljic), who reminds her of the importance of being with loved ones on the holidays.  With everything repaired, Kate and Santa time jump to right after Belsnickel had taken the star, snatching it back immediately.  It is then onto the North Pole where Kate puts the star back in place, and Jack applies the Elf’s bane antidote via the cannon that makes it snow.  Again, this is what is actually filmed.  Belsnickel is initially upset about being foiled, but Mr. and Mrs. Claus readily accept back the wayward elf, who turns into his original form.  Santa then returns Jack and Kate to Cancun in time for everyone to enjoy carols on the beach.  The end.

As you can see, there were a few moments in The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two that are baffling.  Time travel?  Cannons?  Despite my incredulity, there were other parts that had me nearly falling out of my chair, though ultimately remained incomplete.  They come when Santa gives his back story as to how he the mythical gift giver.  I also got excited when he talks about the Bethlehem star.  Interestingly, as I write this, the carol that has the Biblical reference for this astronomical event is playing, “Three Kings of Orient.”  If you are interested in reading the source material, it is found in Matthew 2:1-12.  The celestial body in question is there, and it guides the Magi to Jesus.  In the song, it mentions how its light led them to the perfect light, again this being Our Savior.  What is not mentioned in this passage for obvious reasons, if you know your history, is St. Nicholas of Myra.  Oddly enough, the film does refer to the very real Catholic saint on which Santa Claus is based.  One of the reasons we know he existed is because he was present at the Council of Nicaea.  Instead of showing this important, but less cinematic Church event, it depicts him putting coins into the shoes of people in his Turkish see.  With these elements, I had brief hopes that some reference would be made to the birth of Jesus, or Christmas as the day literally means.  This is just as quickly dashed when we see reports of St. Nicholas’ generosity reaching the wood elves, who then give him the light powered by the Bethlehem star, and thus beginning his career of going around the world on December 25^th.

I thought the first one was crazy, but the fever dream that is The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two is another level. Remarkably, it is directed by Chris Columbus.  This is not the guy who “sailed the ocean blue in 1492,” but the same director responsible for a few of the Harry Potter films.  He is probably why there is such a great cast for this turkey.  It is mostly harmless silliness, but I say avoid it nonetheless.