During the 1980s, there was one director that was in the chair for all James Bond movies released in that decade: John Glen.  He had worked on previous ones in the 1970s in different roles.  When I first saw his name, I made a little joke to myself about letting astronauts get into Hollywood.  That is a reference to John Glenn, by the way, the first American to orbit the Earth and former United States Senator.  Please note that one name has an extra “n.”  This is less funny when you consider that one is a national hero and the other is known for making goofy spy movies.  I never thought I would be saying such a thing about 007, but here we are.  After the praise I had given The Living Daylights (1987) for its different tone, I guess I thought that there had been another person directing these turkeys.  Perhaps Glen had been told that Licence to Kill (1989) would be his last turn with the series, and decided to put in some throwback, clownish antics.  I do not know how else to explain popping a wheely with a semi.  Read on for other strange moments.

You would not think that James Bond (Timothy Dalton) has a Licence to Kill when we first see him.  By the way, for you self-appointed grammar police, “license” with a “c” instead of an “s” is the British spelling.  At any rate, he is about to be the best man at the wedding of Della Churchill (Priscilla Barnes) and his friend and Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) officer Felix Leiter (David Hedison).  As this is about to take place, one of Felix’s longtime targets, international drug lord Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi), has been spotted in the Bahamas.  Since the nuptials are taking place in the Florida Keys, the United States Coast Guard (USCG) sends a helicopter to pick up Felix on the way to the church, with James tagging along.  Together, they manage to bring Franz into custody, and Felix is even able to make his important date relatively on time.  As Franz is being interrogated by a colleague of Felix, Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) agent Ed Killifer (Everett McGill), Franz offers a bribe of $2 million dollars for assistance in springing him from custody.  Ed takes the money.  While Franz is being transported, is able to slip his chains and make his way to freedom.  Before leaving town, though, he murders Della and takes Felix hostage.  James finds out about this as he is getting to the airport, seeing a commotion amongst local authorities and being told it was over the escape of a drug kingpin.  Rushing back to Felix’s house, he finds Della dead and Felix severely hurt.  Yet, the American and British governments in James’ eyes seem to be uninterested in pursuing the Franz.  Thus, James hands in his resignation and decides to go after Franz on his own.  Actually, he is not quite alone, starting his investigation with friend and local charter boat captain, Sharkey (Frank McRae).  They find Franz’s partner, Milton Krest (Anthony Zerbe), who owns a Marine research company and helps smuggle illicit material.  After getting a look at Milton’s operation, and exacting some revenge on Ed, Sharkey is able to surreptitiously get James aboard Milton’s research vessel.  There, James encounters Franz’s girlfriend, Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto), who is abused by the criminal mastermind.  Thus, she does not mind concealing James’ presence.  He is on hand to make off with $5 million of Franz’s illegal gains.  This money becomes his bank roll in his personal revenge campaign.  Yet, before making another move, he returns to Felix’s home to look for other potential allies.  This brings him the name of Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell), former Army pilot and current DEA informant.  He meets her at a dockside bar, and is there to help her get away from Dario (Benicio del Toro), Franz’s main henchman.  She agrees to fly James down to the fictional town of Isthmus City, the capital of a country of which Franz is the de facto ruler.  Despite several requests by James that she leave the important stuff to him, Pam stays with James because she does not want to end up dead like others on Felix’s list.  James is able to gain Franz’s trust by playing cards in the mafia-controlled casino, and winning.  This gives James access to Franz’s office, and a plan for how James might complete his vengeance.  However, before James takes the final shot, he is stopped by people working for Kwang (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), a Hong Kong policeman who has also been trying to take down Franz.  Yet, Kwang’s hideout is discovered by Franz, and the subsequent attack leaves a bound James as the only person left alive.  This deepens the faith put into James, and he gives Franz the idea that Milton is not loyal to him.  James arranges for the so-called proof of Milton’s treachery to be demonstrated when Milton finally makes it to Isthmus City.  The only thing left is for James to find his opportunity to finish the job.  Once more, he tells Pam and Q (Desmond Llewelyn), the military intelligence, section six (MI6) gadget wiz (who decides to personally travel there to help James, for some reason), to leave.  Instead, they are alerted to James’ plans by Lupe.  Though this makes Pam jealous, she receives some encouragement from Q, and she is on hand to save James when Dario shows up an blows James’ cover.  From here, there is a chase scene in fuel tankers pulled by semis as alluded to in the introduction, these being how Franz ships his drugs.  Anyway, shooting, explosions, blah, blah, blah.  Bad guys dead, good guys making out in the end.

As this is all of a piece, I glossed over the end of Licence to Kill.  There is a moment when James has to choose between Lupe and Pam, ultimately going for the latter.  I am not sure I cared by that point as to what decision he was going to make.  I felt this because, also as previously mentioned, the film was a step backward in terms of the changes brought on by having Dalton as the famous British spy.  To emphasize the return to zaniness found here, I will talk about a moment that caught my Catholic attention.  One of the fronts used by Franz to collect money for his operations is a meditation center in the hills outside of his city run by Professor Joe Butcher.  This unlikely character is filled by an even more unlikely person: renowned Las Vegas entertainer Wayne Newton.  According to my limited research, Newton got the part after expressing his desire to be in a Bond film.  So far, this does not sound very Catholic, outside of maybe the vague spirituality that some people connect between meditation and prayer.  It is an association that I am uncomfortable with, but it is often used in the spirit of ecumenism, so I do not rage against it.  At base, just know that meditation and prayer are not exactly interchangeable terms.  What interests me more is how Professor Butcher uses the term “Bless your heart.”  He says it in good times and bad, which, while his character is awful, is a good way of looking at that which God brings us.  Everything, whether we see it as a benefit or negative, works for God’s greater glory.  If it is positive, then hopefully we can grow closer to Him.  If not, then perhaps God is trying to show or teach us something you need to get rid of in our lives, and thus continue further in our relationship with Him.  Either way, He is glorified.  Hopefully, Professor Butcher is realizing this as he is running away from Franz’s drug factory hidden under his meditation retreat.

As alluded to before, Licence to Kill is Timothy Dalton’s last film as Bond.  As I understand it, the series’ producers had always intended to have Pierce Brosnan be the next 007, but scheduling issues prevented from happening earlier.  Thus, Dalton has the dubious honor of having the second shortest tenure in the role.  None of this, though, is a reason to watch this movie.