The only thing that does not change in life is God.  People come and go in your life, even the stars in the night sky will one day burn out, and yet God remains the same.  Take today’s film, for instance, The Whole Nine Yards (2000).  One of its main stars, Bruce Willis, had been a mainstay of Hollywood for over four decades.  Indeed, in recent years, I began to feel that maybe he was being overworked, appearing in more films than you might believe.  Put differently, he gave a new meaning to the term “working actor.”  Now, unfortunately, he has dementia and is no longer able to perform.  Then there is his co-star, Matthew Perry.  Most people remember him from the hit television show Friends (1994-2004).  That would not describe me as I never got into the series.  What I remember him for are a few sneaky good flicks like Fools Rush In(1997) and The Whole Nine Yards.  You will note how I said “remember him” as he tragically died in 2023.  Through these sad events, God still loves us all, and that will always remain.

Speaking of Perry, in The Whole Nine Yards he plays Dr. Nicholas “Oz” Oseransky.  Oz is a friendly dentist forced to live in Montreal with his unloving French-Canadian wife, Sophie Oseransky (Rosanna Arquette), a woman who has no qualms in saying that she wishes her husband were dead.  This makes for a stressful domestic situation, and his secretary, Jill St. Claire (Amanda Peet), believes that Oz needs to divorce Sophie.  He protests, saying that it is not financially feasible given their debts.  Still, being in a loveless marriage is not his only problem.  After coming home from the office, Oz notices a new neighbor moving in next door and decides to introduce himself.  There is something familiar and menacing about the man, and it comes together when Oz notices the tattoo on the arm of the recent arrival.  Though he introduces himself as Jimmy Jones, it is actually Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis), former hitman for the Chicago Hungarian mob.  He had helped put the head of the crime syndicate in jail, and they are not pleased with their former employee.  When Oz realizes Jimmy’s true identity, Oz runs back home and tells Sophie about the person now occupying the adjacent house.  Instead of being intimidated, she sees an opportunity.  In exchange for granting him the separation he desires, she wants him to fly to the Windy City and meet with Janni Gogolak (Kevin Pollak), the son of the newly incarcerated mafia boss.  The idea is to get the money to pay what she owes by revealing Jimmy’s location.  With Jill’s encouragement to, er . . . have fun, Oz gets to Chicago and begins asking questions.  However, when Oz gets to his hotel, he finds Frankie Figs (Michael Clarke Duncan) waiting in his room.  Frankie wants to know Jimmy’s location, but Oz is hesitant to give it up, not just for fear of his life, but because he has befriended the hitman.  The only thing that convinces Oz to talk are continued blows to his torso delivered by Frankie’s massive fists.  With this, Oz is taken to Janni.  Though Oz is being drawn further into a world he does not want to enter, it does afford him the opportunity to meet Cynthia Tudeski (Natasha Henstridge).  Despite the last name, she is divorced from Jimmy.  The only reason she is being kept around is because her signature is needed for a transfer of $10,000,000.  She also proves useful in confronting Oz and making sure the young man is on the level.  For his part, he is taken with her from the moment he sees her, so much so he is willing to risk the ire of his dangerous new friend in order to sleep with her.  Because of the money and the willingness to endanger himself, he vows to protect her . . . which is hilarious if you know the character and/or movie.  He also does this despite her mentioning that Jimmy will kill Oz if he learns of their affair.  Still, Oz is earnest in his pledge, and with it he returns to Montreal with Frankie in order to make contact with Jimmy.  When they do, we find out that Frankie had been on Jimmy’s side this whole time, and together they plan a trap for Janni when the gangster comes to finish Jimmy.  Unfortunately, Jimmy is planning to murder his ex-wife, which puts Oz in a bind.  Further complicating matters are the assassins Sophie has hired to off her husband.  Jill happens to be one of them, but she bailed on the mission when she found out how nice of a guy is Oz.  The newest one is Agent Hanson (Harland Williams).  He is on hand for the fated night when the ambush is sprung, and is killed along with Janni and his thugs.  As the bullets are flying, Oz makes off with Cynthia, causing Jimmy to become a bit perturbed to say the least, especially when Jill reveals the nature of his ex-wife’s relationship with Oz.  Before anything crazy can happen, Oz conceives of a way to avoid death all around, and allow Jimmy to disappear.  Using Agent Hanson’s dental records, Oz makes Jimmy’s teeth match the deceased.  He is then put into a car with Janni’s body, and the whole crime is pinned Sophie.  If Oz goes along with this, then Jimmy will grant Cynthia a divorce.  The last test comes when it is time to collect the $10,000,000, which is really supposed to judge Cynthia’s feelings for Oz.  Cynthia goes to the bank with Jill, who proposes that they abscond with the riches, splitting the money between them.  Cynthia says no, professing her love for Oz.  Jimmy then shoots Frankie, who had been planning to kill Oz.  We conclude with Cynthia and Oz married at Niagara Falls, with $1 million gift from Jimmy for their nuptials.

There is some material in The Whole Nine Yards that is objectionable to a Catholic viewer, not the least of which is the casual way in which murder is handled.  There is also a long sequence in which Jill appears topless, which is done to distract the Janni’s men, but still unnecessary.  What I will underscore for you is Jimmy.  Given the fact that he was a hitman, this might seem like an odd choice.  After all, divorce is also not something the Church is eager to promote.  “Until death do us part” is a serious matter.  Cynthia has a response for this, saying that Jimmy does not believe in divorce.  Thus, despite all the problems in their marriage, he stays committed to being wed.  Of course, there are grounds under which a husband and a wife can be separated.  I also have no idea if Cynthia and Jimmy’s wedding took place under Catholic auspices.  There seems to be some acceptable reasons for why these two should no longer be together.  In a non-religious sense, you could also point to the appropriateness of the final pairings, though this, too, plays into the calculus of why a man and a woman should be together in the eyes of the Church.  Cynthia does not want to be with a man who, it is said, cheated on her, without mentioning his line of work.  Oz, then, is the kind of staid existence for which she is looking.  As for Jimmy, Jill’s enthusiasm for being a contract killer appeals to that side of Jimmy, as morbid as that seems.  Finally, Jimmy is proof of the fact that anyone can be redeemed.  In a recent Gospel reading, we heard about the tax collector Levi.  To hold such a position in Biblical times, especially among the Jewish community, was considered a grave sin.  Like an assassin, a tax collector then was seen as not acting in the best interests of the people.  While it is not an exact comparison, it works to underscore that there is a path forward for those on the margin of society.

I would not shun The Whole Nine Yards, though.  Yes, there are some problematic aspects, so I would not be showing it to the kids.  At the same time, there is a decent redemption arc here, and that is always worth something.