When you type Irish Wish into Google, the headline for the review given by Vulture from New York magazine says, “Irish Wish Is a Crypto-Fascist, AI-Generated Harbinger of Doom,” which is for a piece written by Rachel Handler.  I hope, before you go searching for that clickbait article, that you first read what I have to say about the film.  I did not read the review.  It is too long, and I have my own feelings to share on the matter.  Still, I had a good chuckle when I saw that title.  Man, I thought, all I wanted was something Irish since St. Patrick’s Day is tomorrow.  While I have no idea if Ms. Handler toned down her rhetoric after her title, I will say that there were some moments that annoyed this Catholic reviewer about the movie.  This also has virtually nothing to do with the famous Irish holiday, other than the fact that most of it takes place on the Emerald Isle.  I also imagine that what I am about to say varies widely with what the New York magazine contributor writes, though our conclusions may be roughly similar.  God does work in mysterious ways, and that is something to keep in mind as you read.

At the beginning of Irish Wish, the only one who is annoyed is Madeline “Maddie” Kelly (Lindsay Lohan) because her scarf gets caught in the door of the vehicle she gets out of as it pulls away.  She is at the premier and book signing for famous author Paul Kennedy’s (Alexander Vlahos) latest novel, for whom she works as an editor.  Her friends, Emma (Elizabeth Tan) and Heather (Ayesha Curry), are there to greet her as well.  Given how closely Maddie worked Paul, all but writing the entire book, her friends are wondering if they are dating.  The shy Maddie tries to dismiss their musings, but she does, indeed, have a crush on him.  Her mother, Rosemary Kelly (Jane Seymour), encourages her daughter to speak up about her feelings for the writer.  Maddie claims this will not be necessary, thinking that all the prerequisites are there for them to begin a romantic relationship.  Indeed, before the aforementioned event, Paul takes her aside and says that they are ready for the “next level.”  She expects to be asked on a real date, but he is only suggesting that they continue to work together.  To make matters worse, it looks like Emma and Paul hit it off from the moment they meet.  That is an understatement as a few months later, Emma and Paul are getting married and they are all going to Ireland for the nuptials.  The string of mishaps continues for Maddie upon landing when she mistakes her bag for that of James Thomas (Ed Speelers), an English photographer who has come to Western Island to shoot a sheep show (you know, Ireland).  She stays behind to fill out a missing luggage report, but that means she gets to share a bus ride to the Kennedy estate with James when she is ready to go.  Not long after getting to the destination, Maddie joins Emma, Heather, Paul, and Paul’s brother, Kory Kennedy (Matty McCabe), for a trip to a nearby lake.  While they all get into rowboats, Maddie takes a walk during which she talks to her mom.  During their conversation, Maddie admits that she wishes she had spoken sooner, and that it should be her marrying Paul.  As these words are uttered near a “wishing bench,” a mysterious person (Dawn Bradfield) appears, encouraging Maddie to sit and make her desire known.  Unsurprisingly, Maddie wishes for her to be the one being wedded to Paul.  There is a strong breeze and the next thing she knows, she is waking up back in the Kennedy mansion.  For some reason, she has trouble adjusting to her surroundings despite this apparently miraculous occurrence, freaking out when she finds Paul in her shower.  Slowly it dawns on her that her dream has come true.  However, everyone else acts as if this has been their reality the entire time.  As such, they all act as if their engagement is natural, whereas she is out of sorts.  This comes out as she is trying on the wedding dress the Kennedys want her to wear.  In the middle of it, she hears a voice asking if this is what she really wants.  Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the mysterious person and gives chase.  Instead of catching the supposed wish granter, she topples into James’ car.  Since they are need of a professional to take pictures of the wedding, Paul’s mother, Olivia Kennedy (Jacinta Mulcahy), offers James an exorbitant fee to be their photographer.  He agrees to do so, offering to take some pre-wedding pictures.  The next morning, though, following a night where Maddie accidentally gives Paul a black eye, she ends up going with James alone to scout locations.  On the way back, a rain storm brings down a tree on the only road that can take them to their destination, forcing them to pull into a tavern for the night.  By this point, it is evident that she is developing feelings for James, but she continues to insist that she is going to marry Paul.  They manage to make it in time for the rehearsal on the proceeding day, but James is casting knowing looks her way as he is answering all the questions when Maddie and Paul are queried about their relationship, including Paul getting her favorite author wrong.  In the hours leading up to when they are to take their vows, Maddie sees Emma and Paul share a moment.  Emma bursts into tears once he leaves, driving home the mistake she feels she has made.  The conversation she has with James, witnessed by Paul, does not help matters.  At the appointed hour, instead of coming out in white, Maddie emerges in plain clothes and explains the situation, though understandably leaving out the wish part.  The assembled guests devolve into chaos, but she manages to get away.  She then heads for the spot where her fortunes changed, getting the mysterious person to reverse what has become a curse.  It works, and everything is returned to as it was before, though this time she has her luggage somehow.  After telling Paul that she wants to write her own books, she catches up with James, and I guess they live Irish-ly ever after.

As Irish Wish unfolded, I expected to be using my Catholic analysis to talk about the way our own desires do not always match up with those of God.  The story nicely underscores how fighting against God’s will typically does not work out well, though Faith is not a part of this story.  All the same, it is clear that Paul is what her head says, but her feelings for James come from the heart, and that is where God resides in us.  That is all well and good, though nothing too original.  Still, I would have been prepared to continue that discussion until there was the record scratch scene when Maddie is about to kiss Paul at the rehearsal, but she fumbles it when she sees a figure in the stained-glass wink at her.  Later, Father Callahan (Aidan Jordan) tells her that the one she saw in the window is St. Brigid.  I went back and re-watched those minutes to make sure I was correct in what I heard.  Yes, he said St. Brigid.  Okay, so, Ireland is a place where folklore and Faith tend to mix.  One can see this in her name, which she shared with a Celtic goddess.  One could make the argument that the movie intended the pagan deity, but they specifically refer to her as St. Brigid.  I can find no reference anywhere to her being some kind of mystical being that grants people their wishes.  There is a connection to St. Patrick (yes, that St. Patrick) as they were contemporaries and friends.  At the same time, he was not known for giving people what they desire in the form of a wish.  In any case, this is not how Catholicism works.  It is a tired protestant stereotype that Catholics pray to saints instead of God.  While it is true that we invoke their names, it is as intercessors with God, not the destination of the prayer.  Unfortunately, these ideas seem to continue in Hollywood, despite (if nobody else) my best efforts.  Regardless, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how those responsible for this movie landed on St. Brigid.  Maybe they thought St. Patrick would be too obvious?  Or is this simply the first female Irish saint they found?  In any case, I almost fell out of my chair when I heard her name.

What kept me firmly planted in my seat is how provincial is Irish Wish.  There is nothing objectionable about it, aside from my specifically Catholic complaints.  The fact that the ideas mentioned in the previous paragraph persist is worrying.  I shall take comfort in knowing that it just gives me more work to do.  In the meantime, watch something else.