If you have ever wondered why there was never a Spider-Man 4 starring Tobey Maguire as the title superhero, Spider-Man 3 (2007) is probably the answer.  Do not get me wrong.  Like pretty much every film about Marvel’s web slinger, it grossed in the neighborhood of $1 billion at the box office.  Money, therefore, was not the issue.  Instead, it probably had more to do with content.  Some of you will undoubtedly be familiar with the famous .gif lifted from this movie, with Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) emerging onto the streets of New York and doing a little dance.  There is much more to this scene, but we will discuss it later in greater detail.  For now, between that and other strange choices made while shooting it, they are as good an explanation as I can give for why they waited until Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) to bring back Maguire.  It also appears that the folks at Marvel and Sony feel enough time has elapsed to start making live-action wall crawler flicks again with these non-Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) versions of everyone’s favorite wall crawler.  Until then, let us take a closer look at Spider-Man 3.

Whenever you have any main character in any film start off by talking about how great everything is as Peter does at the beginning of Spider-Man 3, assume everything is about to go wrong.  For now, though, the city he protects is relatively safe and thankful, despite the editor of the Daily Bugle’s, J. Jonah Jameson (J. K. Simmons), best efforts to smear Spider-Man.  The person whose opinion Peter cares most about is his girlfriend, Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst).  He is regularly going to see her perform despite his hectic crime fighting schedule.  At one of her performances, Harry Osborn (James Franco) is also in the audience, eyeing his former best friend from high school, Peter.  Harry blames Peter, who he knows is Spider-Man, for the death of his father, Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe).  As such, Harry has vowed revenge on Peter.  For now, though, Mary Jane and Peter remain blissfully unaware of this plot as they stargaze after the show.  It is in this moment that he decides that he is going to propose, later getting his Aunt May Parker’s (Rosemary Harris) blessing and ring in order to pop the question.  Unfortunately, after obtaining said jewelry, Peter is attacked by Harry.  Now, the credits also give Harry the moniker “New Goblin” since he uses his father’s technology to follow dad’s example of being the Green Goblin, Spider-Man’s arch-nemesis.  In the ensuing fight, Peter manages to knock Harry off his hoverboard, and his former high school pal hits his head.  The result of the blow is temporary amnesia, though this is great for Peter as it means he has his friend once more.  Meanwhile, in another part of the city, Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church) has escaped from jail.  He has done so because he wants to see his daughter one more time.  Indeed, the only reason he had turned to crime was to pay for the sickly child’s mounting medical bills.  Because he is a fugitive, he must stay on the run.  His attempts at evading re-capture land him in what I am going to call the “science pit.”  Something goes on there that they briefly explain and I cannot remember, but the long and short of it is that when the machine is turned on, it turns Flint into the Sandman, the living embodiment of dirt.  Flint’s connection to Peter is eventually revealed by police Captain George Stacy (James Cromwell) at a ceremony honoring Spider-Man for saving the captain’s daughter, Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard).  Captain Stacy reveals that it had been Flint who pulled the trigger of the gun that killed Peter’s Uncle Ben Parker (Cliff Robertson).  This is followed by Spider-Man being egged on to give Gwen a kiss, to Mary Jane’s horror.  Shortly thereafter, Peter hears that Flint is in the process of robbing a bank.  Donning the black Spider-Man suit, the result of an alien black goo subplot that has been following Peter for some time and finally integrated into his costume.  These new threads make him stronger, but more aggressive.  Thus, when he believes he has killed the Sandman, he proudly reveals this to Aunt May.  She surprises Peter when she preaches forgiveness instead of vengeance.  Mary Jane is observing changes in her boyfriend that she also does not like, and instead seeks comfort from Harry.  When their visit ends in a kiss, she hurriedly leaves his palatial apartment.  It is also around this time that Harry’s memory returns.  He thus goes back to revenge mode, forcing Mary Jane to tell Peter that she is in love with someone else, and Harry later saying that the “someone else” is him.  Peter responds by wearing the alien infused black Spider-Man outfit all the time under his cloths, which results in the odd behavior noted already discussed.  There is also the strange two-fingered pointing as he walks down the street, that goes along with the aforementioned dancing.  More personally, he gets Jameson to fire his rival photographer at the newspaper, Eddie Brock (Topher Grace).  Next, Peter has another tussle with Harry that ends with Peter throwing a grenade and Harry’s face.  Peter takes Gwen on a date at the bar where Mary Jane is singing in a band.  When Gwen realizes what is going on, she sensibly leaves, so she is not there to see Peter physically lash out at Mary Jane.  It is all enough to demonstrate conclusively to Peter that he needs to get rid of the black suit, doing so in a church belfry owing to its sensitivity to loud, metallic sounds.  Once Peter gets it off, it lands on Eddie, who had been following Peter and praying for his death (no joke).  Now as the creature known as Venom, Eddie teams up with the Sandman to take on Spider-Man.  Peter gets an unwitting ally in Harry, and together they triumph, but not before Harry is mortally wounded.  Mary Jane and Peter hold their friend as he dies a hero, having saved Mary Jane as a pair.  After Harry’s funeral, we close with Peter meeting Mary Jane in the same jazz club.

Between the silliness of emo-Peter’s scenes in Spider-Man 3, and the constant swings in emotional tone, I found it difficult to focus on the happenings at times.  Of course, this was not helped by my lack of sleep from the previous night. In the face of such exhaustion, it is usually best to stick to concrete examples for the Catholic discussion.  Because of this, I was briefly excited to see that the church in which Brock and Peter separately enter is a Catholic one.  Then Eddie has to go and spoil it by praying that God kills Peter for him.  This is not how God operates.  I understand that Eddie is a villain, but did they have to be so trite as to show him crossing himself with Holy Water (hence how I knew what I was looking at), kneel down, and ask for something so sinful.  I am sure he is not the first person to make this request of the Divine, and I am sure he will not be the last.  At the same time, it stands in stark contrast to the serviceable theme in the film about forgiveness.  Since I am writing this during Holy Week, with Good Friday approaching, it is appropriate to point out here that Jesus went to His Crucifixion on Calvary by forgiving His persecutors, not wanting them to die.  They hung Him high on a tree and He remained there, dying, asking His Father to pardon their faults for their lack of understanding of what they were doing as we see in Luke 23:34.  More specifically, He says “they know not what they do.”  I liken this to how Peter behaves under the influence of the alien symbiote.  All he knows is that it feels good to do the things it seemingly gives him permission to do.  It is when he is faced with the devastating consequences of his actions, as well as the sin involved.  Upon doing so, he seeks to make amends with those he loves.  That is the heroic thing to do, which is what our ultimate hero in Jesus would do.

I do not know if watching Spider-Man 3 is necessary for any reason.  There is no objectional material, but a collection of odd moments.  I wonder how much they will reference this one in future projects?  Until they make the new ones, we are stuck with the old ones, for better or worse.