Unwittingly, I learned of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) at an early age.  As a child of the 1980s, I was around and aware enough to witness the rise of Madonna.  Her second album, the unfortunately titled Like a Virgin (1984), has many songs on it with which you are likely familiar.  Arguably the most famous of these is “Material Girl.”  If you watch its music video, which I do not recommend, you will see her in a pink dress surrounded by adoring men offering her objects.  The lyrics and the setting of the video are inspired (directly ripped off, more like) by the musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.  Aside from my often-stated distaste for this subgenre, I actually found myself chuckling at times while watching the movie.  I will leave the 1980s nostalgia behind.  At any rate, if you ever wondered where the phrase “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” came from, here you go.

When Gentlemen Prefer Blondes began, for a moment I thought there had been some internet glitch and I was coming in at the middle of the film.  After displaying the production company, we jump right into a musical number performed by Lorelei Lee (Marilyn Monroe) and Dorothy Shaw (Jane Russell) without any other introduction as to what is happening.  After getting into the film, though, it becomes apparent that it is the perfect way of setting up their characters.  They are song and dance performers with their eyes on love.  Dorothy has a more down to earth approach to finding a man, but Lorelei desires riches.  Luckily for her, the wealthy Gus Esmond Jr. (Tommy Noonan) is in the audience watching the show.  Despite the stage lights, once they are in their dressing room, Lorelei predicts to Dorothy that Gus has a ring in his pocket.  Lorelei is proved correct, and they are to leave the following day to get married in France.  There is just one problem: Gus Esmond Sr. (Taylor Holmes).  Dad is protective of who his son weds.  This means that instead of sailing with Gus, it is Dorothy that crosses the Atlantic with Lorelei, the brunette being there to chaperone the blonde.  As they are boarding, Dorothy is eyed by the American Olympic team, which is also headed to Europe.  Lorelei does not approve of Dorothy’s attention to the athletes, claiming that a pole vaulter has no money.  This carries over to their stateroom, which Dorothy immediately invades with the Olympians and anyone else who happens to follow her.  This is common for these two as they turn heads wherever they go.  As such, Lorelei is determined to find a wealthy passenger to fix Dorothy with before they arrive in Cherbourg.  Lorelei also intends to get attach to some other gentleman of means, you know, to pass the time.  One person who snoops around but is almost immediately dismissed by Lorelei is Ernie Malone (Elliott Reid).  He comes calling looking for Lorelei, but the focus of his affections becomes Dorothy.  His real reason for being there is that he has been hired by Mr. Esmond to investigate Lorelei.  Though he is feigning interest at first in order to get into their company, bribing the head waiter to be sat at their table, his interest in Dorothy is genuine.  Lorelei’s interest is Sir Francis “Piggy” Beekman (Charles Coburn).  Dorothy is the first to meet the Englishman, and unsuccessfully tries to keep the fact that he owns a South African diamond mine from Lorelei.  When Lorelei learns of this business, she spends much of the rest of the voyage doting on somebody likely more well off than Gus.  Ernie is then able to snap a few pictures of her and Sir Beekman in embraces, which is intended to warn Mr. Esmond as to his son’s fiancée’s suitability.  Dorothy catches Ernie taking the photographs and is angry about being deceived.  Thus, she helps Lorelei recover the evidence and expose Ernie’s plot in the process.  Yet, Lorelei’s troubles do not end with this caper.  When they debark in Europe and get to their hotel in Paris, they are summoned to the manager’s office.  There they are confronted by Lady Beekman (Norma Varden), who accuses Lorelei of stealing Lady Beekman’s diamond tiara.  Lorelei protests, stating that Sir Beekman had freely given it to her.  She is then given the opportunity to return the jewels, but she refuses, saying that it would be admitting her guilt.  Mr. Esmond has also pressured Gus to end his engagement, which means that the line of credit given to Lorelei is canceled.  Thus, it is back to the stage for Dorothy and Lorelei.  Gus shows up at their first Parisian performance and is coldly received despite complaints of his true feelings.  He also has to endure Lorelei singing “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” as referenced in the introduction.  He is not the only one looking for Lorelei.  The gendarmes (French police) enter the club with a warrant for her arrest.  Dorothy decides to help Lorelei escape.  Donning a blonde wig, Dorothy allows herself to be arrested, posing as her friend.  In the courtroom, she sticks to claims of innocence, while also surreptitiously admitting her love to Ernie, who is also present.  When he realizes the ploy, he is able to track down Sir Beekman and bring the Englishman before the judge.  Sir Beekman admits to giving the tiara to Lorelei, but it is now back in his possession.  This ties up the case neatly and it is dismissed.  Later, Mr. Esmond encounters Gus and Lorelei in the club, and gives his approval for their match.  We end with a double wedding on the ship going back across the Atlantic.  Dorothy is marrying Ernie, and Lorelei is doing the same with Gus, and our two protagonists walk down the aisle arm-in-arm.

I am not sure what the title Gentlemen Prefer Blondes has to do with events in the movie.  Yes, Lorelei has the corresponding hair color, but Dorothy does not.  As such, does that make Ernie less of a good man than Gus?  I use that qualifier because I believe that society is still on board with the notion of a “gentleman,” even if the definition has, perhaps, changed.  This discussion fits well with a Catholic analysis.  Though the term seems to have had some misogyny attached to it in recent years, the Faith still teaches that men should behave correctly towards women.  This is not meant to imply some kind of power gender dynamic between the two sexes.  God created us differently, and the Church has consistently held that this does not make one better than the other, no matter what modern culture will try to tell you.  The problem with the movie is that Lorelei, and Dorothy to a certain extent, peddle their womanly wiles a little too aggressively.  Some of the more recent takes on the film praise it for being an early example of females exercising agency in their interactions with males.  Yet, they do this in a sexualized way laced with innuendo.  To this reviewer, this feeds into much of what post-modern feminism has railed against in terms of how the so-called “fairer sex” has been depicted in popular culture.  In short, women are objectified, which Lorelei all but claims is the goal of a woman’s affections.  God created us to be more.  This includes marriage.  When Mr. Esmond finally meets Lorelei, she asserts that it is only sensible for a lady to want the person she is marrying to have money, basically giving the couple one less thing about which to fight.  While good financial decisions are a part of a healthy marriage, I worry that such sentiments set them up as a deity to replace God.  God should come first, and all else will flow from that relationship.

In doing further research on Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, I learned that Monroe did much of her own singing for the movie.  This little fact helps soften the blow of the musical, though it should be noted that there are not as many numbers in it as others of its type.  Despite my valid criticisms, this one is worth watching.