One thing I do not like is to leave a job undone.  This is part of the reason why I find monks and nuns so fascinating, and why I believe I would have a hard time with religious life.  In the documentary Hidden: A Life All for God (2018), which you can find on YouTube in its entirety, one of the Trappistine nuns at Mount St. Mary’s Abbey talks about how before she entered religious life, she was an “accomplisher.”  For her, this meant giving a project the full amount of time needed to be completed before moving onto the next, something that, for her, was best suited for your typical nine-to-five lifestyle.  A nun’s day is anything but typical, at least to us outside the cloister.  Whenever the bell rings for prayer, you drop what you are doing and go pray.  As odd as this might sound, these thoughts provide context for why I chose Die Hart 2: Die Harter.  Now, in a moment I will be leaving to go to Mass, and in some respects, I do follow a semi-religious routine.  I look at it as good practice for when (and if) I choose consecrated single life as a vocation.  However, I had seen the first Die Hart (2023), and reviewed it.  Since they made a Die Hart 2: Die Harter (and you can see what they are trying to do, right?), here you go.

Kevin Hart (as himself) is on the road to becoming a major action star when Die Hart 2: Die Harter begins.  Bizarrely, this has come on the back of making The Jeffersons (1975-1985) into an action film.  Now, Kevin wants to go bigger, and he approaches his agent, Debra Simon (Melissa Ponzio), with an idea for a new kind of explosive production using a filming style called cinema verité.  This realistic, impromptu method of filmmaking is, to Kevin, better than the world of stunt doubles and green screens.  To prove that he is ready for this kind of works, he hires a team of actors to attack the restaurant at which he is meeting Debra, and dispatches them with choreographed moves.  A horrified Debra flatly says no, tossing his script in the garbage as he drives away with his doting, worshipful assistant, Andre (Ben Schwartz).  The next day, with Andre buzzing around, Kevin grows impatient with a green screen commercial where he is asked to mimic pedaling a bicycle.  In his distress, he leaps at a chance to meet with the Swede (Greg Kriek), a producer from Europe that wants to fund Kevin’s dream.  When Andre braves admitting his uncertainty as to the wisdom of such a meeting, particularly since he cannot find anything on the internet about the Scandinavian, Kevin dismisses these fears by saying that Google works differently over there and fires Andre as his assistant.  Once in the presence of the Swede, Kevin is promised everything he wants for his movie, and is told that filming begins right away.  He then takes a tranquilizer dart to the neck.  He comes to in a dank warehouse like setting, with a man in a grotesque mask attempting to murder him.  He does not immediately take it as such, believing that this is all part of making the movie.  So real do the attempts on his life seem that he actually knocks out his assailant before moving on to the so-called next scene.  In his search, he finds Jordan King (Nathalie Emmanuel), an actress with whom he has previously worked.  Kevin continues to cling to the notion that they are making a movie as he removes her restraints.  The only thing that convinces him that something serious is happening is when he is actually shot in the shoulder, though even then he tries to say that it is fake blood coming out of him until he passes out.  The two of them manage to get to his car where he finds Andre, who had been waiting for him for days.  Andre takes Jordan and Kevin to the actor’s mansion, but they find their entry barred by a security guard they have never seen.  In order to keep them safe, Andre decides to take them to his mother’s, Cynthia (Paula Pell), house.  Cynthia cares for Kevin ala Misery (1990) while Andre and Jordan go to track down Doug (Kevin Hart), the stunt double Kevin fired when the actor decided to start doing all his own work.  Doug has taken being let go quite hard, and it is he who is behind everything that is happening to Kevin.  In order to learn more about what to do about Doug, Andre and Kevin pay a visit to legendary stuntman Mr. 206 (John Cena), so-called because he has broken every bone in his body.  Among other things, Mr. 206 tells Kevin is that the star has no chance of beating a highly trained professional like Doug.  Instead, Kevin must learn to embrace the pain that he has caused others, which made this Catholic smile for a moment.  Being aware of the hurt for which we are responsible is a blessing.  Yet, it also turns out the Mr. 206 is in league with Doug, Kevin having noticed the scar on Mr. 206’s hand, the same as the masked torturer.  While Andre and Kevin’s headlong escape is not the most noble of deeds, they do now have the bravery they need to confront Doug.  Andre sneaks Kevin into his house while Cecilia and Jordan distract the security guard with fireworks.  It all leads to the inevitable showdown with Doug, during which Andre gets a large splinter lodged in his abdomen.  Still, I suppose that is better than the knife to the head thrown by Jordan to which Mr. 206 falls victim.  With some help from his friends, and that same splinter stuck in Andre, they triumph over Doug. . . .  Or do they?!  While the person that meets with Debra at the end looks and talks like Kevin, it is actually Doug disguising himself as Kevin, while the real actor is in prison being mistaken for Doug.

Die Hart 2: Die Harter, like its predecessor, is like the Cliff’s notes version of the television show on which these films are based.  They are meant to be funny because, haha, Kevin Hart is not widely recognized as an action star.  I keep waiting for a recent comedy that I find funny, and it looks like that could go on for a while.  What helps is having a Catholic angle to watching movies, which is my job, of course.  Oddly enough, there is a solid message here about relying on others.  A prayer that I say every morning shortly after I wake up is the Litany of Trust.  One of the snippets from it is, “From the false security that I have what it takes, deliver me Jesus.”  Actually, given the title of this prayer, there are any number of parts of the litany I can use in talking about this film.  However, the one I just mentioned best captures the over-abundant self-reliance displayed by Kevin.  Again, because this is meant to be funny, the joke here is that Kevin, being the Hollywood star he is, can do practically nothing on his own.  For example, he cannot drive his own car.  By the end, Kevin realizes that he needs help, going so far as to call Andre his best friend and side-kick.  In the final scene, even if it is Doug, he makes the point that it “takes a village” to keep Kevin’s career on track.  This is quite the turnaround from earlier, and it speaks to a few aspects of Catholic life that are echoed in the Litany of Trust.  For one thing, we are called to community.  That can be your parish, a collection of like-minded people, or joining a religious order.  While there have been hermits over the Church’s history, they have always been a part of a larger group that practices such aesthetics and privacy, emerging from their cells only for certain occasions.  The one thing that such gatherings do is show God at work.  It is why the Church has been called “the body of Christ,” though village works just the same as a metaphor.  These people are there for each other.

Yes, they left Die Hart 2: Die Harter open-ended for another sequel.  When I got to this point, I sighed.  Maybe there is some audience out there for this stuff, but it is not me.  There is nothing too objectionable about it, though I did not find any real sympathy for Kevin, despite my adherence to my Faith.