An aspect of what it means to be American is being a part of a country of self-made men.  I am no less a proponent of this idea than any of my fellow countrymen.  Aside from what we are taught in grade school, my parents always stressed my ability to accomplish anything to which I set my mind.  I would be remiss if I did not give at least partial credit to these ideas for how far I have made it in life to this point.  Since I earnestly started practicing my Catholic Faith, however, I have a slightly different take on this concept.  Simply put, we are nothing without God.  That does not mean that we need to simply lie back and let Divine Power magic a sandwich into existence.  God could do that, and basically did in Biblical times, but practicing faith means doing something on your own part.  How that looks for each of us is different depending on how we are called, which is another way of talking about vocation.  This is why the Catholic Church has deacons, priests, male and female religious, numerous varieties of consecrated life, and the laity.  In other words, there is a place for you within God’s family which He has prepared specifically for you.  Stick with me here because I am about to show you how Back to School (1986) speaks to these principles.

It is 1940 in New York City, and young Thornton Melon (Jason Hervey) is told by his father to get Back to School to improve on the kid’s poor report card.  Thornton says it is too hard, and while he listens patiently to dad’s sage advice, he goes on to get into the business world instead of academia.  The adult Thornton (Rodney Dangerfield) establishes a nationwide clothing chain for larger individuals unfortunately called Tall & Fat.  Dear director Alan Metter: we are all God’s creations, and therefore worthy of love, not ridicule.  Despite its awful name, apparently many of God’s creatures love it and Thornton is wildly successful.  He enjoys the kind of notoriety that allows him to interrupt a business meeting when Jason Melon (Keith Gordon), his son, calls from college.  Thornton asks Jason to come home while the young man is between semesters, but the pressures of the swim team and preparing for classes prevent the visit.  Somewhat deflated, Thornton goes home to his unfaithful wife, Vanessa Melon (Adrienne Barbeau), who he finds with another man at a party he is unenthusiastic about attending.  Once the so-called festivities have concluded, he tells his driver and friend, Lou (Burt Young), to pack for tomorrow because they are going to make a trip to see Jason.  Upon getting to the fictional Great Lakes University (GLU), Thornton finds that his son has not made the dive team or lives in a fraternity house as the young man claimed.  Though this breaks the fifth commandment of honoring your mother and father, Thornton can tell that there is something more going on with Jason.  Aside from dishonesty, Jason, egged on by his pseudo-Marxist roommate Derek Lutz (Robert Downey Jr.), has become disillusioned with the institution of higher learning.  Giving his son the same speech delivered by his father, Thornton emphasizes the importance of an education and offers to enroll in school with him.  Jason is on board with this decision, but there is one problem: Thornton does not have a high school diploma.  To fix the situation, Thornton pays a visit to Dean Martin (Ned Beatty), and yes, the name is a joke throughout, and pays for a new building for the school of business to be constructed.  The unethical nature of being admitted by bribery is pointed out by Dr. Phillip Barbay (Paxton Whitehead), who does so despite being a professor in the business department.  Nonetheless, Thornton signs up for his classes, taking mostly whatever Jason enrolls in.  The instructor that stands out the most for Thornton is Dr. Diane Turner (Sally Kellerman), his literature professor.  He develops a crush on her.  Even though she is an intellectual, she is charmed by his easy-going nature and sense of fun (I guess).  This further rankles Dr. Barbay, who is dating Dr. Turner.  Still, it is that sense of fun that starts to get Thornton into trouble.  While Jason tries to keep his dad on track with studying, all Thornton seems to care about is having a good time.  When it comes times to show actual work, he decides to hire a bunch of people, including Kurt Vonnegut (as himself), to write his papers.  Jason observes this with alarm, which comes to a head at his first dive meet.  Before doing his first plunge, Chas Osborne (William Zabka), Jason’s rival for the affections of Valerie Desmond (Terry Farrell), suggests that Thornton had bought his son’s way onto the team.  This leads to Jason purposely mistiming his dives, and being sour during the post meet revelry.  Once more he thinks college is worthless, particularly when money solves all his father’s problems.  Though Thornton denies any wrongdoing, Jason once more vows to leave school.  This is not the only thing to which Thornton is forced to deny.  After being failed by Dr. Turner for not turning in original work, Thornton is called into Dean Martin’s office to face similar allegations from Dr. Barbay.  Since Thornton has given the school a lot of money, Dean Martin is not eager to expel the oldest freshman on campus.  Instead, Thornton agrees to face a three-hour long oral exam from all his professors in order to prove his knowledge.  Upon making amends with Jason, he and Derek drill Thornton for weeks on all his subjects.  All the same, he fails and is forced to leave.  Just kidding!  Rather, Dr. Turner brings him the good news upon completing an impossible dive after being asked to sub for Chas, who feigns an injury.  Everyone is happy, and we close with Thornton improbably giving a speech to the graduating seniors.

Speaking of improbable, Back to School is rated PG-13, so I was not expecting female nudity.  That complicates what I was underscoring about the film in my first paragraph.  Having said both these things, you should not come to this movie looking for an example of figuring out that to which God is calling you.  Still, if you find yourself with the movie in front of you, then you might as well make the best of it.  In the previous paragraph, I mentioned the fifth commandment.  It is clear that, for most of the proceedings, Jason earnestly wants to honor his father.  He points out early on how Thornton made his millions without a formal education.  These lines are particularly interesting personally as earlier today I read from the third and fourth chapters of Philippians where it talks about how knowing God is more important than anything else we can ever do.  This goes beyond what we can learn in the halls of higher education.  A further argument can be made about how the pursuit of degrees can take us away from the mission to which Jesus directed His disciples before parting from them on Pentecost: to go out into the world and evangelize.  However, this is not to say that education is bad.  There are many colleges and universities around the world that have been founded by the Catholic Church.  I got my Ph.D. from one, Loyola University Chicago.  The key is in how you use what you receive.  Jason idolizes his father, but for the wrong reasons.  He has yet to find his calling, but he sees what his dad has done as something to emulate.  Because he believes this blindly, he is embittered when Chas claims that Jason’s merits are the result of Thornton’s efforts.  What we can say about those efforts, even if he never bribed Jason’s coach, is that Thornton is charitable.  He gives freely, and spreads his God-given gifts generously.  It may occasionally be used unscrupulously, but his heart (mostly) seems to be in the right place.

This is the first time I had seen Back to School all the way through, though I had been familiar with it for some time.  It has its funny moments, and others I would rather forget, but that can describe any number of movies.  These things are never as bad or good as anyone says.  I just hope you take what I have to say about it to heart before watching it.