The first question I had upon watching The Road to El Dorado (2000) was how in the heck did anyone think this was a good idea?  I did not do a ton of research to find a solution, but what I did look at confirmed some unrelated theories.  For example, there are a series of films known collectively as Road to . . . made between 1940 and 1962.  They star Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, good friends in real life, but a pair of adventurers on the big screen getting into all kinds of shenanigans around the world.  While viewing The Road to El Dorado, I was reminded of these cinematic predecessors.  This more recent addition to the buddy trope is even a musical, though it differs in the fact that it is animated.  These two features did not do much for my puzzlement over why it was made at all.  After all, given its cartoon presentation, it is evidently aimed at kids.  It is also historical in nature.  Nothing gets the children excited like talking about the past, no?  As for me being a Catholic reviewer, there is not much to recommend it, either.  In sum, there is little reason to watch this, and I will proceed to tell you why this is the case.

When the first scene of The Road to El Dorado features infamous conquistador Hernán Cortés (voiced by Jim Cummings) recruiting people from 1519 Spain to pillage the New World, my hopes for a decent watch already sink lower.  Nearby are our aforementioned buddies, Miguel (voiced by Kenneth Branagh) and Tulio (voiced by Kevin Kline).  They are busy conning a number of sailors out of their money using a pair of loaded dice.  The one losing the most gold stops the game, insisting on one last roll using his own cubes.  Up for grabs is a map claimed to lead one to El Dorado, the legendary city of gold.  Miguel is intrigued while Tulio would rather take their winnings and run.  While they end up victorious once more, it results in their trick dice being revealed and them having to run for their lives.  Their escape lands them (literally) in a pair of barrels loaded onto one of Cortés’ ships.  By the time they are able to free themselves, they are far out to sea and facing many of the men they had cheated.  Cortés is also not pleased to find them, and they are put in the brig.  The plan they devise is to entice a horse, named Altivo (voiced by Frank Welker), strangely wandering freely about on deck, to help free them by bribing it with an apple.  God does work in mysterious ways, though I wonder as to whether the animators were following His inspiration when Miguel and Tulio get out of jail through equine intervention.  Still, they do perform a Franciscan act by jumping into the ocean to save Altivo from drowning.  The three of them end up on a row boat adrift.  Just as they are giving up hope, their vessel lands upon the shore.  Spotting a skull with a machete splitting it has Tulio wanting to head back into the water.  Miguel, on the other hand, notices a stone carving of a bird and decides it matches a symbol from the parchment they garnered on the other side of the Atlantic.  Since they had almost died at sea, Tulio agrees to continue following clues in the hopes that they are led to riches.  Their path dead ends at a large rock with carvings on it.  Tulio seems to lose his patience when Chel (voiced by Rosie Perez) tumbles into their midst.  She is on the run from her people, who arrive shortly thereafter brandishing weapons and order Miguel and Tulio to follow them.  As it turns out, they live in the fabled city the two adventurers had been seeking.  Upon their arrival, the high priest, Tzekel Kan (voiced by Armand Assante), declares them to be gods.  For some reason, everyone can speak the same language, but I suppose it does not do to dwell on such matters.  Further, Miguel and Tulio appear to have forgotten their Catechism about their only being one God, who is decidedly not them, because they delight in their newfound deity status.  Actually, Miguel does so more immediately, while Tulio is trying to figure out how to get away.  Either way, it does not look like they have much of a choice for the moment.  In the middle of arguing about what to do, they are visited by Chel.  She offers to help them to blend in with her people in exchange for being partners with an equal share of the planned loot.  As such, while the rest of the people cheer when Miguel and Tulio prevent Tzekel Kan from sacrificing humans in their honor, she has to hurriedly put an end to their substitution of the valuables as they are being tossed into deep lake.  Such behavior begins to arouse Tzekel Kan’s suspicions as to the real nature of these visitors, which is confirmed for him when he notes Miguel bleeding.  To him, gods do not bleed.  Of course, historically speaking this would have been before they learned about Christ’s passion, but I digress.  Further complicating the matter are the differences that threaten the bond between Miguel and Tulio.  Despite previously agreeing not to pursue her, Tulio falls in love with Chel.  Miguel overhears Tulio saying uncharitable things about his fellow Spaniard to Chel.  Meanwhile, Miguel comes to the decision that he is going to stay there instead of returning to Spain, ruining Tulio’s plans for them.  This is about the time Tzekel Kan chooses to strike, summoning an enormous stone jaguar to attack the city and Miguel and Tulio.  Yet, the trouble appears to end when Tzekel Kan and his creature fall into the aforementioned body of water.  He does not die, but comes out at Cortés’ feet, freshly come to the area in search of conquest.  The high priest, seeing the conquistador, believes this European to be the true god he foresaw and agrees to lead them to El Dorado.  Their approach is noticed just as Chel and Tulio are about to depart on a boat laden with precious trinkets.  Instead, with Miguel’s help, they use the ship to block the entrance to the city, along with a massive wall of rock and water.  Cortés sees the way blocked, while Chel, Miguel, and Tulio ride off empty handed into the sunset.

I was a little shocked by some of the content in The Road to El Dorado, though not so much by two people who were likely raised Christians pretending to be deities.  History is replete with such instances.  However, you might be surprised to know that this was not always done with ill intentions.  The Church has for centuries taught that where local customs and traditions intersect with sound Christian teaching, they should be incorporated into how the Faith is celebrated in those places.  You can be pessimistic about this idea if you like, but there is a divine logic to it.  To roughly quote C. S. Lewis, God is either who He says He is, or He is a liar.  Since He cannot be the latter, He must be the former.  None of this has any resonance in the film, and Miguel and Tulio, at least initially, are solely in pursuit of wealth and nothing else.  At the same time, there are some Christian behaviors that we can glean from their experiences that contribute to them being okay with their lost fortune at the end.  The one I appreciate the most is Tulio talking about a tiny voice in the back of their heads attempting to guide them towards making the right decision.  This is not dissimilar to how God speaks to us on a daily basis.  It does not work the same for everyone, which I point out lest you think that I am telling you that you should be hearing words of Divine origin in your mind.  That could happen, and it is not uncommon for many committed to their Faith journey to experience God in this manner.  The broader term for this phenomenon I would present to you is a prompting.  The Holy Spirit touches us in ways individual to each of us, if you care to recognize His presence.  It can be words, as discussed, or feelings, sensations, or some other form of communication.  Tulio uses this to avoid sticky situations, whereas Miguel manifests it in his adventurous spirit, which tells him to walk among the people and endear himself to them.  I pray that you are able to have your own promptings.

At the same time, I would not look to The Road to El Dorado for inspiration as to how this would work.  Indeed, I would not watch this movie again for any reason.  Among the odd situations and faulty history is the inappropriate way in which Chel is drawn.  Instead, I think I will be giving you the films on which this is based.  Hopefully, they will be better.