The old man I used to live with, may God bless him in his rest, used to have what I can only guess to be the studio recordings of Road to Morocco (1942), on vinyl no less.  I have to speculate because I was never as interested in them as he seemed to be.  I surmise as such now that I have seen the movie because, back then, I did not realize that they were part of a motion picture soundtrack.  I chalked them up as stars Bing Crosby and Bob Hope messing around in the sound booth but not wanting to waste any tracks.  With me having watched the film, much of this now makes sense, to me anyway.  A further piece that clicked in my mind is the fact that Orville “Turkey” Jackson and Jeff Peters, the characters played by Hope and Crosby respectively, are cads.  Those were always his favorite figures, literary and cinema-wise.  I will not say that my Catholic sensibilities were offended by their behavior, at least not completely.  It is meant as a comedy, and there is some witty dialog, but they are pretty awful to one another . . . and others.

To drive home just how awful they are, Road to Morocco begins with stowaways (that means trying to hitch a free, or stolen, ride, usually on a ship) Jeff and Turkey blowing up the vessel on which they are hidden.  Actually, this is Turkey fault for smoking in the powder room.  Yet, while they are adrift on wreckage, Jeff is sizing up his boyhood friend to eat, claiming that Turkey is the one best suited to be cannibalized.  This particular horror is averted when they spot land and make it to shore.  Once they are on land, they are serendipitously visited by a camel (and someone was not paying attention in geography class because it is of the Bactrian variety) that luckily knows the way to the nearest city.  I want to say that this apparent Divine intervention made them see the light and be better people, but their poor behavior resumes when they see a person they describe as an “idiot” getting free food.  When their attempts at getting the same handouts are rebuffed, they are told that the other person is sacred to Allah, which is why he gets this treatment.  If anyone is paying attention, Catholicism holds the same beliefs.  The people who do not are Jeff and Turkey.  Jeff convinces Turkey to imitate the man with special needs, but luckily Turkey is denied by a deaf shopkeeper.  Desperate for food, their next move is to beg in the streets.  Just kidding!  Who would want to be seen as Christ-like among the poor?  Instead, Jeff sells Turkey into slavery, Jeff vowing to get his friend out as soon as he is able.  Despite being visited by Turkey’s deceased Aunt Lucy (Bob Hope), Jeff looks unconcerned as he later whistles and strolls down the street.  In the course of his wanderings, a note is thrown to him from a window.  It claims to be from Turkey and urges Jeff to flee because Turkey is being tortured and is about to meet his end.  Jeff knows it is Turkey because “flee” is spelled “flea.”  See?  A joke, though wrapped in an insult.  Before Jeff can take action, he is distracted by a beautiful singing voice.  Following the song to its source, he finds it is the voice of Princess Shalmar (Dorothy Lamour), and by her side is her groom-to-be, Turkey.  At first, Turkey claims to not know Jeff.  Even after the truth is revealed, Turkey has Jeff banished from his sight.  What keeps Jeff in the palace is Princess Shalmar’s intervention.  Later that evening, as Turkey is being pampered by the harem (you read that correctly), Jeff has a tune of his own that attracts Princess Shalmar’s attention.  Soon they are strolling arm-in-arm through the garden.  It is Mihirmah (Dona Drake), one of the consorts who is smitten with Turkey, that alerts Turkey to Princess Shalmar’s evident unfaithfulness.  This is not the only person being played by Princess Shalmar.  Soon we find out that Hyder Khan (Vladamir Sokoloff), the court prophet, has foretold that her first husband would die in a week.  This is good news to her betrothed, Mullay Kasim (Anthony Quinn), a local warlord.  Because divination of the stars is blasphemy in the eyes of God, this becomes a joke when Hyder Khan discovers that his calculations were off due to bugs being on the lenses of his telescope.  This means that Princess Shalmar’s first husband will not meet an untimely death.  Since she actually does not like Mullay, she tries to run off with Jeff, Mihirmah and Turkey tagging along for good measure.  They are prevented from escaping, and Mullay carries Princess Shalmar into the desert with the intention of marrying her.  Jeff and Turkey are taken part of the way into the sandy wastes, then dropped and left to die.  They soon get lost and have a number of the expected experiences when one is dropped into such environments without resources.  Their mirage is a burger stand, so that is kind of fun.  At any rate, they eventually locate water and follow it to Mullay’s camp.  From there, using Mullay’s former enemies, now wedding guests, as a foil, they start a riot and slip out with Mihirmah and Princess Shalmar.  The only thing left to do is for our four to make it to the United States and have two separate weddings.  Unfortunately, Turkey roams into the powder room with a cigarette and we have a repeat of the beginning of the film.  Fortuitously, this happen to be near New York City, and Jeff points this out to Turkey before the latter can complete his hoped-for Academy Award winning monologue.

To review some of the events of Road to Morocco, these men explode large vessels, sell each other into slavery, double cross one another over a woman, and are generally unfaithful in many other ways.  As I described them at the beginning, they are cads.  The word means to behave with a disregard towards the feelings of others, and this sums up well how Jeff and Turkey act.  Another way of putting this is that they are selfish.  This is presented in a comedic fashion, and truth be told, it is rather light hearted.  If they had been more honorable and Christ-like to one another, this would have been a far different movie.  Of particular interest to this Catholic reviewer is the part mentioned in the synopsis when they witness the man with special needs receiving free food.  I was touched by this scene, but it was nearly ruined watching our two so-called protagonists mimicking the mannerisms of the one they call an “idiot.”  I get that social mores were different in the 1940s, but it was still difficult to see this played as such.  I also asserted above that there is a history in the Church of similar people being venerated.  One that comes to mind is St. Joseph of Cupertino.  Indeed, he is the patron of people with special needs.  He grew up impoverished, but also had developmental delays that had his contemporaries label him as Jeff and Turkey do with the person they encounter in the market.  St. Joseph of Cupertino became a monk, though only with great effort.  Yet, such was his faith that he became renowned for levitations.  By the way, this is not some legend from the early Church.  St. Joseph of Cupertino lived in the seventeenth century.  Though some superstitions persisted at that time, it is also pretty darn close to what historians refer to as the modern age.  Hence, just know that, unlike what Jeff and Turkey might think, those who are regarded as “disabled” are God’s dear children.

Oddly enough, Road to Morocco has been well liked by the American Film Institute (AFI) over the years, appearing on a number of their lists.  To be fair, I have focused mainly on the negative aspects.  Are there some good parts?  I suppose so.  I believe I pointed out that there is some witty dialog.  At the same time, I cannot get around the scene analyzed in the previous paragraph, and thus I will recommend you pass on this one.