There is Catholicism in Bali.  This should not be surprising since it is a global Faith, and the largest sect of Christianity.  This means, among other things, that at every hour of the day in some part of the world, Mass is being celebrated.  Does this matter to today’s film, Road to Bali (1952)?  Not in the slightest.  However, I have the impression that when people today think of the title location, it conjures images of Hindu temples and alternative sexual lifestyles.  Please understand that I am not making a judgement here beyond simply pointing out the differences in traditions.  Still, the Church is there, despite what modern culture, or that of Bing Crosby and Bob Hope’s day, might suggest.

Once more, we have our two main characters in Road to Bali, George Cochran (Bing Crosby) and Harold Gridley (Bob Hope), starting off as entertainers.  They are performing a song and dance routine on stage in Melbourne, Australia, when two separate families come back stage with their daughters claiming each of the singers had promised to marry their daughters.  Though they incorporate their escape into the end of a number, they are chased by the aggrieved groups onto the train they catch out of town.  Desperate to avoid forced marriages, our pair leap from the train in the middle of the Outback.  They are soon greeted by a heard of sheep and join the pack.  They are dumped with the rest, now bearded to indicate the length of their careers as livestock, at a dockyard.  Seeking employment, the last jobs available are as deep-sea divers.  They need the funds, but neither is keen to do the risky work themselves.  Thus, when they individually talk to the people offering the position, they volunteer the other for the underwater part.  This is, of course, in keeping with the series theme of them being awful human beings, particularly to each other.  The person who takes them on is Prince Ken Arok (Murvyn Vye).  He is a native to the islands off northern Australia, and he is keen to recover valuables that had sunk off the coast.  This involves taking George and Harold to his home where they meet his cousin, the Princess Lala McTavish (Dorothy Lamour).  If you are wondering about that last name, for reasons at which I can only guess, the makers of this picture thought to give her a Scottish father.  His ship had been carrying the jewels that Prince Ken is in search of, and this heritage makes for a musical number with George and Harold complete with bagpipes.  Anyway, is per usual, the female lead, that being Princess Lala, takes a liking to the two Americans.  Because of this, while spending time with one of the competing would-be lovers, in this case George, she warns him of how whoever goes down to bring up the valuables will be killed by a sea creature (it is a giant squid).  Thinking to get rid of his so-called friend and have Princess Lala to himself, George concocts a story about how whoever is able to obtain the chest from the ocean floor will have her as a bride.  Harold leaps at the opportunity, though, in fairness, George does help bring Harold back to the surface following the monster’s attack.  In the process, Prince Ken and the rest of the crew are thrown into the sea, leaving George, Harold, and Princess Lala to sail to Bali to sell their newfound riches.  During their voyage, Harold gets his alone time with the lady, which results in them striking a rock near yet another island.  From here, it is yet another set of hijinks with the local flora and fauna, featuring a brush with an amorous primate of unknown species.  They are saved, in a sense, when the human population finally reveals itself.  One of their chiefs, Bhoma Da (Ralph Moody), is wearing the same tartan as Princess Lala’s father, and is thus willing to help.  The assistance in this case involves reminding the young woman that according to their custom, a woman can have multiple husbands.  So much for Christian monogamy, but we will discuss that in a moment.  And in fairness, neither George or Harold is aware that the other would be wedded to Princess Lala at the same time.  Yet, before an un-Godly ceremony can take place, Prince Ken shows up alive and well. He has come not only to take back the treasure, but to deny his cousin’s wish to be with George and Harold.  This last bit comes in the form of an arrangement he makes with King Ramayana (Leon Askin), who allows Prince Ken to have the valuables in exchange for adding Princess Lala to his harem.  As a Christian, I would call what happens next an act of God, but the locals attribute the volcano eruption to one of their minor deities being displeased with Prince Ken and King Ramayana.  In the ensuing destruction, George and Harold rescue Princess Lala and they make for the beach.  Once there, they spot a vessel they can use to get away.  Yet, before they go any further, they again bicker over Princess Lala.  Hence, they turn to her to settle the matter once and for all.  I guess because the script says so, she picks George.  The consolation prize for Harold is for him to summon a woman from a wicker basket, like a snake charmer, and this is a running gag throughout the production.  The person he brings forth is Jane Russell (as herself), though she ends up going with George, too.  “The End” then flashes on the screen, though Harold unsuccessfully does his best to prevent it.

It is kind of fun to see fourth wall breaks in Road to Bali, and in other entries in the Road to . . . series.  Another feature of all of them is the fact that they never seem to get to the eponymous locale.  Everything that happens is on the way to whatever is in the title.  This includes the ongoing feud between Crosby and Hope’s characters as they vie for the affections of whoever Lamour is playing.  In the first few installments, there seemed to be a formula wherein it would look like she would go for Hope, only to have Crosby take her in the closing moments.  In this sixth one, the amount of competing between George and Harold seems heightened when compared to previous pictures.  It is little wonder, then, that Princess Lala cannot decide between them, but God only knows why should would want to do so.  As an aside, at one point in the romantic struggle she dreams of a different comedic pair, Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin (as themselves).  This may appear like a narrow point on which to focus my Catholic energies, but I did not care for the solution the film at first came up with for Princess Lala’s dilemma.  The fact that George and Harold do not behave as Christian gentlemen is unhelpful and only puts a further strain on the situation.  If they had acted better, for starters, this would probably not be a comedy.  A slower approach would also make it clearer which of the two is better suited for her.  Since they are essentially the same person, this would not be easy.  Yet, God does have someone in mind for each and every one of us, even those who choose the religious life.  With that last category, that person would be God himself.  There are detractors of Christianity that make the point that the Bible allows for polygamy.  Indeed, there is a sub-set of the Mormons, for example, that still have this practice.  However, there is the New Testament to consider and its many touch points to proper monogamous relationships.  I am not here to condemn anyone who sees marriage differently, or this film for that matter.  At the same time, I am not sure polygamy is the best path to marital bliss.

There is little else that stands out about Road to Bali, other than the fact that this is the first in the series to be in color.  There is one more to go, and from the little research I have done, it looks like there had been an eighth one planned.  Sadly, that one had to be canceled when Crosby died of a heart attack in 1977.  In summation, if you have seen this one, you have seen them all.