It is always difficult for me to adjust to so-called “real life” whenever I return from some kind of spiritual outing.  This is everything from a daily Mass to my most recent venture, a pilgrimage to Rome and Medjugorje.  While in those moments, I feel a closeness to God that is difficult to replicate while pursuing my day-to-day life.  Still, to a great degree, this is what practicing the Faith is all about, ultimately.  We are called by God to do the best we can with the gifts He gives us.  Put differently, and to roughly quote an unlikely (and shall remain unnamed) source, God never gives us anything we can’t handle.  This includes having to face the death of a loved one.  This being my first review since coming home, I did not think I would be dealing with such a heavy topic.  I wanted something lighter and almost chose, God forbid, EuroTrip (2004).  Thankfully, I already covered that one.  Thus, I opted for His Three Daughters (2023) and I am glad I did so.  I do not approve of everything you see in it based on Church teachings, but I hope to show that it is worth a view.

A title like His Three Daughters almost says everything you need to know about the movie, but I will endeavor to continue describing it.  The first of the eponymous people we meet is the oldest, Katie (Carrie Coon).  She is going on about Vincent “Vinny” (Jay O. Sanders), their father, who is dying of cancer.  Because he is in the final stages, with Hospice care providing what he needs in his last moments, there are plans to be made.  To Katie, her main obstacle is Rachel (Natasha Lyonne), their step-sister.  Now that Katie and the youngest sibling, Christina (Elizabeth Olsen), have arrived, Rachel has been letting them handle things while she self-medicates with marijuana.  Rachel’s pot smoking is one point of contention with Katie, and another is the fact that Rachel did not manage to get Vinny’s do not resuscitate (DNR) form completed.  There are others that underscore years of bickering, but it is Christina that attempts to be the peacemaker between the other two.  Christina is the one that came the farthest, living several states away with her young family, and she tries to be calm amidst the obvious tension.  Katie frequently lashes out at what she sees as Rachel’s irresponsibility, and Rachel tries to ignore them with weed and sports gambling.  As Christina and Katie spend time with Vinny and deal with their home lives, Katie carries on, though does submit to smoking outside.  It is adherence to this request that causes the next argument.  Katie’s boyfriend and fellow drug user, Benjy (Jovan Adepo), expects them to be able to light up inside her room.  When she informs him that they must leave the premises to indulge, he angrily points out the absurdity of these relative strangers making rules for her when she has been the one that was there for Vinny when he started to get sick.  It is this last bit that Benjy brings up to Christina and Katie, though against Rachel’s wishes, underscoring for the others that Rachel has done more than they realize.  Katie finds this a rude imposition and brusquely orders Benjy out of the apartment.  Later, though, Katie regrets her outburst and tries to apologize.  Rachel, on the other hand, is in no mood for reconciliation and it quickly devolves into a screaming match between them.  The only thing that stops them is Christina yelling over the top of them as to how much she hates them before storming out of the room.  Once everything settles again, the trio of sisters sit down to try to find common ground.  The hardest part, obviously, is Katie and Rachel.  There is a hint of thawing relations over their mutual distrust of the Hospice worker, Angel (Rudy Galvan), whose sole purpose seems to be to come to them and tell them that Vinny is about to pass away, a fact about which they are already aware.  Christina is gracious to Angel as always, but Katie and Rachel find his punctiliousness strange.  It is Christina, too, that points out the main issue between them: the fact that they all have different ways with which they experienced life with their dad.  Katie had always viewed Rachel as an interloper, the daughter who came from another father when Vinny had married Rachel’s mother.  Rachel’s father died when she was four, and Vinny filled that need male figure in her life.  As for Christina, she had Vinny mostly to herself after Katie and Rachel left for college, and did not relate much to her older kin as much as with Vinny.  This all comes out as they are trying to write the obituary, which they also find difficult because of the challenge of summarizing a life that meant so much to each of them at different seasons of their lives.  After they have this understanding, though, they realize it is finally time for the three of them to go together into Vinny’s room to spend time with their dad.  This does not last long, for with his last bit of strength he decides he wants to come out into the living room and sit in his favorite chair.  Upon getting settled in the recliner, he throws off his life support machines, stands up, and tells his daughters how much they mean to him and that he wants them to be a part of each other’s lives after he is gone.  Unfortunately, this speech turns out to have taken place inside his head as he apparently dies not long after taking his seat.  Either way, Christina, Katie, and Rachel take away this newfound understanding of one another as we see them go back to their respective lives.

There is a lot to unpack about His Three Daughters for this Catholic reviewer.  They say that there is no wrong way to grieve, and death is one of those occasions in life that typically brings on a great deal of that emotion.  Still, the Church would not approve of recreational drug use or yoga as a coping mechanism.  It is implied that Christina’s use of those stretches with their roots in Hinduism are something she does on a regular basis, but they are presented here as a way of dealing with the added stress.  There has been some debate among Christians as to whether it is okay for us to engage in these practices, particularly since the majority of those who do are not actual Hindus, at least not in the West.  Those who participate in yoga will tell you that they are simply a method of loosening the body and staying healthy.  On the other hand, each position has a name that was specifically designed with a religious purpose in mind.  I know Pope Francis recently said that all religions seek God, and by itself there is some correctness to that statement.  At the same time, he did not stop at that thought, elsewhere re-stating that the fullness of truth lies with the Catholic Church.  If you are aware of this and do not convert, you make entry into eternity with God difficult.  It is not impossible since everything is possible with God.  To overcome the gap, one has to do some extraordinary things, like spending time with the sick, which is what these three women do in their own ways.  Doing so is a corporal act of mercy in the view of Catholicism.  The movie would think of the sisters’ actions in this fashion, but this is what the Church teaches.  Instead, there are frustrating discussions about meditation and the transformative power of love that have parallels with Christianity, but fall short of actually getting to know God.  It is the Divine that give these things meaning, not us on our own.  Again, shorn of any connection to our Creator, this individualistic approach to Vinny’s terminal illness is what defines these women.  What connects them is the love of their father.  It is a wonderful sentiment, but incomplete without a knowledge that it is the love of the Father that connects us all.

There are many reasons why His Three Daughters is a difficult film to watch.  As a non-drug user, I do not understand Rachel’s commitment to marijuana despite how rough are things at the moment.  It is also never easy to see a movie that deals so openly with death and the sadness that goes with it, particularly if this is something you have experienced.  Finally, there are aspects of how they treat end of life issues that go against Catholicism.  Despite all this, there is value in watching it, and thus it gets my recommendation.