What do you get when you combine Looney Tunes style antics with Wes Anderson-esque cinematography, but make it into a black-and white, silent film?  You get Hundreds of Beavers (2022).  I ran across this while scrolling through Amazon Prime.  I often pause on older films because they have become my preference.  My mistake was in thinking that because it is not in color, it came from a bygone era.  Intrigued, I kept watching the trailer, mesmerized by what I was seeing.  I could not pass this one up, though I worried that I would have nothing to say about it from a Catholic perspective.  I am overjoyed to say that is not the case, either.  Please allow me to introduce you to this little gem, and I hope you decide to watch it.

Jean Kayak (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews) has no notion of Hundreds of Beavers.  Instead, he wanders the northern reaches of nineteenth century United States as an applejack salesman.  That is not the cereal, by the way, but basically hard apple cider.  He sets up an orchard, produces the product, and has a merry time drinking with his customers.  That comes to an end when beavers eat into the legs of his giant barrels of brew, making off with one while the other rolls into his home.  In the ensuing chaos, the house is destroyed and his fruit trees along with them.  When he awakens, it is winter and he must dig himself out from several feet of snow.  Fair warning: from here on out, most of what is depicted shows him learning how to trap animals.  You can look at it as repetitive, but the jokes are what comedians refer to as callbacks, and they are consistently hilarious.  Initially, this mostly pertains to his desire to find food.  Because he has never been in this position before, he is comedically bad at catching his dinner.  Often, his primitive attempts backfire, with the various rodents beating him up.  How is this possible, you might ask?  Because the animals are all played by people in furry costumes.  Eventually, he gets the idea to make rope out of his tattered clothing though his snares prove no more effective than anything else he has tried.  After a lot of trial and error, mostly error, he manages to snag some fish, which he uses to get the tinniest of pocket knives from The Merchant (Doug Mancheski), who runs the local trading post.  Showing up at the same time is The Master Fur Trapper (Wes Tank), who looks like Santa Claus.  The mountains of pelts he brings to The Merchant has the businessman fawning over the hunter and offering his daughter, The Furrier (Olivia Graves), in marriage.  Jean looks on somewhat envious of The Master Fur Trapper’s success, but also because Jean has fallen in love at first sight with The Furrier.  What Jean figures out is that he has to prove himself as a trapper in order to get into The Merchant’s good graces and earn The Furrier’s hand.  Yet, his miniscule blade and still novice trapping skills, not to mention the cunning of the animals that continue to outwit him.  Upon having another fumbled attempt at gaining a fur, he is approached by The Master Fur Trapper, who happened to be in the area.  Seeing Jean’s struggles, The Master Fur Trapper takes the novice under his wings.  They follow The Master Fur Trapper’s fur line, using the most intricate map of the woods ever devised.  As they go along, they begin to be followed by a pack of wolves that eats The Master Fur Trapper’s dogs one-by-one, though occasionally two at a time.  It comes down to just Jean and The Master Fur Trapper, and they attempt to take shelter up a tree.  The Master Fur Trapper is lower down, not quite out of reach for the wolves. His last gesture is to hand Jean his map before being pulled down into the waiting jaws.  When Jean finally descends, he notices that the pack have dragged away The Master Fur Trapper’s massive haul of pelts, tucking it securely in their cave.  From here, wiping away The Master Fur Trapper’s complicated instructions, Jean begins devising a series of plans that will bring in more furs, which will give him better tools and increase his chances with The Furrier.  All the while, Jean notices the beaver dam getting taller and more intricate, while a beaver Sherlock Holms and Dr. Watson begin investigating the killings Jean is inflicting upon their kind.  While he eventually abandons trying to retrieve The Master Fur Trapper’s sack, he has accumulated enough resources to legitimize his proposal in the eyes of The Merchant.  However, before he can bring his haul to The Trading post, the beaver authorities bash him over the head and take the pelts back to their towering city.  At this point, if you thought what I have described seems silly, hold on to your coon skin caps!  Jean manages to sneak into the dam, though that is too small a word for the labyrinth therein.  His run through their area does not result in him retrieving his possessions, and he is arrested.  He has a trial before the gathered beaver community, and is even represented by a beaver public defender.  His sentence is to be skinned alive but he is able to break free of his restraints.  Once more on the lam, he stumbles upon a beaver space program that is using one of his applejack barrels as a part of their rocket.  Unfortunately for the beavers, Jean knocks out one of the support structures just as the vehicle is launching, sending it careening out of control.  This also does significant damage to their town but gives him a window to escape.  He pushes his load of furs towards the trading post, it turning into a massive snow ball as it goes.  The remaining beavers give pursuit, eventually forming a Voltron-esque giant stomping through the countryside.  The monster is stopped thanks to the intervention of The Indian Fur Trapper (Luis Rico), who lassos the spiraling rocket and sends it at the beaver kaiju.  With that, Jean is able to bring the snowball to a halt before it destroys the trading post.  He is about to kiss The Furrier, but is smooched by The Merchant for all the pelts brought to him.  The end.

As completely bonkers as Hundreds of Beavers sounds, it is ultimately about a guy’s quest to get married.  Since marriage is a Catholic Sacrament, I do not need to worry too much about his motivations.  There is a scene in which they are interacting when she does a dance on a stripper pole, but there is no nudity involved.  Also, this is played for laughs because she is trying to make him uncomfortable in front of The Merchant.  It is a sequence that could have been taken out of the film completely and it would not have changed the tone, but neither does it wreck the sum total.  More broadly, one might be critical of the contents of the film since it is about killing animals.  As a Catholic, I agree that all life is sacred.  There are some caveats to keep in mind here.  First, the Church has no qualms about consuming meat or using their hides for clothing, as long as it is done humanely.  Secondly, this is what passed for commercial enterprise in the nineteenth century, so technically what you are witnessing is history.  Finally, what you are seeing as animals are people in costumes.  Their organs are also clearly stuffed toys, which makes the whole thing that much funnier.  Yet, on a slightly serious note, which is hard to do for this film, Jean is a man of integrity.  There is a moment during his chase for his pilfered furs when he sees his old applejack barrel.  Fondly recalling his days of dissipation drinking the alcohol with his customers, he almost gives up his chase of a future with The Furrier.  Before he can give into that temptation, one of his arms comes out of nowhere to slap him and remind him of why he is in this predicament.  He is thus conquered by love, the greatest of all virtues, the one embodied by God.  On a more specifically Catholic note, he also buries The Master Fur Trapper after the wolf attack, carving a Crucifix out of wood with his teeth to mark the final resting place.  The method for making the Cross is played for laughs, but it spoke to my Catholic heart.  There is not much to dislike about him.

Sprinkled throughout Hundreds of Beavers are quotes that do not speak to its hilarity, but are a testament to its depth.  One is from seventeenth century English author John Bunyan, author of a book that was still popular in the nineteenth century, particularly in the United States, called The Pilgrim’s Progress.  In it he wrote, “It is always hard to see the purpose in wilderness wanderings until they are over.”  This is an excellent summary of the film.  Going into it, you may not expect to laugh as much as you will, but by the end, you will be satisfied for the effort.