When I was studying for my Ph.D. at Loyola University Chicago in American History, I had a classmate and friend who would often talk about all the weddings to which he had been invited.  It was not something he bragged about, more of a statement of fact mixed with the hassle of having to constantly witness other people’s happiness.  More on that latter sentiment in a moment.  Whether it was to serve in the wedding party in some capacity, or just being there, marriage ceremonies these days can be a lot.  Even now that I look on them differently, with the added blessings and graces that come with the knowledge that, at least with us Catholics, the given man and woman are fulfilling a Sacrament, there is a tinge of longing for me.  It was worse back when I went to school with my aforementioned friend.  I particularly envied when he would talk about being a groomsman, or the most honored position of best man, a privilege that, to that point, I had only been given once.  It was for these reasons that I decided to watch Plus One (2019), and I think you can see the reference in the title.  I am not sure it helped my feelings on these subjects, but I am glad I picked it.

Neither Ben King (Jack Quaid) or Alice Mori (Maya Erskine) are anyone’s Plus One, but the long-time best friends are at the wedding of a mutual acquaintance.  Alice is reeling from having been recently dumped by her boyfriend, Nate (Tim Chiou), and looks forward to a depressing summer of similar ceremonies attended solo.  Ben has an even longer list of weddings to go to, and is also not excited about the prospect of always being sat at the singles’ table.  As they discuss their frustrations in a mostly drunken state afterwards at the hotel, Alice comes up with an idea: they should by each other’s eponymous date for every ceremony to which they are invited in the coming months.  Ben is less thrilled by this proposal because the last thing he wants is to be at more of these things.  What convinces him is her agreeing to help him find a girl, essentially being his wingwoman.  He also has other issues on his mind.  His dad, Chuck King (Ed Begley Jr.), informs his son that he will be getting married to Gina (Perrey Reeves), a woman nearly half his age and who has young children of her own.  The situation is further complicated for Ben when Chuck asks the young man to be the best man.  Because Ben is still a little bitter over his dad’s divorcing of his mother, he does not immediately commit to standing for his father’s “big day.”  From here, it is time to watch Alice and Ben start going with each other to weddings.  At first, Alice holds up her end of the bargain in helping him get things started with various females they see.  The big one, and first one, is Jess Ramsey (Brianne Howey), who Ben knew before and has waited for a chance to date.  Such is his eagerness that he does not notice her engagement ring, making for an awkward aborted kiss.  While sitting poolside later on for another wedding weekend, Alice strikes up a conversation with a nearby woman.  At the reception, Ben has more success in interacting with her.  Yet, when Alice asks about her, Ben claims that he did not feel like she is the one.  The fact that he seems to always have an excuse for why a certain person is not right for him comes up often, including at another reception that also happens to be attended by Chuck and Gina.  Watching Alice and Ben interact, Chuck wonders what is stopping them from being together.  This proves too much for Ben to handle, and he and Alice decide to leave to get drunk in another location.  Stumbling back to their hotel, lost, they end up doing the deed in a graveyard, which is not ideal from any perspective, Catholic or otherwise.  Neither Alice or Ben knows how to handle this development, and their departure is strained when he takes her back to her place after the weekend is over.  They also do not speak again until the following weekend when they reunite at a destination wedding in Hawai’i.  While speaking with Ben’s friends, they notice the tension between Alice and Ben and decide that the longtime friends are already a couple.  Instead of fighting it, Alice and Ben lean into it, going to Alice’s sister wedding as officially being together.  Unfortunately, it is at the next ceremony that Ben’s indecision becomes a problem.  When Alice forgets their gift, Ben takes it personally, particularly when she does not treat it with the same sense of urgency as he does.  Thus, after the festivities, Alice finds a pensive Ben, who says that he is not sure he is ready for a relationship with her.  Clearly hurt since she had just professed her love, she walks away.  This leaves Ben to go to the next few weddings by himself, and he behaves progressively worse at all of them.  At one of them, he has a conversation with Matt (Beck Bennett), the man who got married at the film’s first wedding.  Matt reminds Ben how relationships are imperfect, and that searching after it will leave one with nothing.  With this, he decides to make up with Alice, though he finds her at the subsequent wedding back with Nate.  Though Ben makes a moving speech to her that has an effect, it seems too little too late.  It takes him forgiving his dad and learning more about lasting bonds for him to give reconciliation with Alice one more chance.  She accepts him back and we end with them at Chuck and Gina’s wedding, Alice giving Ben pointers on the best man speech.

With the speech at the end of Plus One, it ends as it begins with the clever banter between Alice and Ben.  As a practicing Catholic, I would rather there be less of some of the adult activities or words you see them engage in, especially with Alice.  Her irreverence is balanced by Ben, a character that I identified with perhaps too closely.  Like we see with Ben and his issues with Chuck’s failed marriages, I am a product of my experiences like the rest of us.  Life can be messy, and those messes wound us.  The obvious thing missing from the film is any recourse to the only One who can most fully heal those hurts, that being God.  What He can, and does, do is send us messengers that can help even if it does not lead us closer to Him.  Imagine how much of a better world this would be if we gave God all that ails us, emotionally and physically?  Or if we recognized those that try to comfort us as the gifts from God that they are?  That is what Matt does for Ben.  It is Matt’s marriage that triggers somewhat of a crisis for Ben.  Matt had been the best friend and wingman that guys sometimes claim they need in order to find women.  It is an awful practice among non-Christians, a byproduct of our sad hook-up culture, but I digress.  Regardless, we can appreciate what Matt says to Ben, some of which has already been discussed.  It is Matt that calls Ben on the unrealistic ideas Ben has on relationships.  I can relate to Ben because he asks an important vocational question: how do I know what is right?  For Ben, it is about finding the one with whom he is supposed to be with, but he is seeking the impossible: perfection.  This dovetails nicely with Faith because the only perfect Thing in this world is God, as hard as that is to grasp.  There are times that He speaks to us distinctly, and that is great when it happens.  Most of the time, God’s will is given to us in subtle hints and promptings that take a lifetime of spiritual development to understand to any degree.  In other words, it takes a relationship with God to come first before anything else can happen with another person.  In the case of the film, Ben must recognize it is not solely about his desires, but accepting the person before him and going for it.  May God be ever in front of you, and may you go for Him.

As alluded to in the previous paragraph, I do not go for a lot of what happens in Plus One.  It can be crass and vulgar, with too much drinking, drug use, and sex for it to be completely recommendable.  At the same time, it has snappy dialog and is thought provoking.  Thus, we have a paradoxical movie that gets mixed reviews from me.