If you have kept up with the reviews here on The Legionnaire, you will know of my aversion to musicals.  Moana 2 is yet another entry in my most detested categories of film.  Yet, there was a moment during its first song where I “felt seen” as the kids these days might say.  There is a character named Kele (voiced by David Fane), and the best description of him would be that he is a curmudgeon.  If that does not say it all, it definitely tells you all you need to know about me when I go to one of these movies.  Most of the proceedings are exactly what you would expect, from Disney and musicals.  For these reasons, I was thankful for Kele, especially when he asks the obvious question when the music swells and everyone lends their voice: “Do you have to sing?”  You do not have to sing, nor see this movie, to understand some of the important lessons that are in it.  Instead, read this review, spare yourself some nonsense, and subscribe to The Legionnairewhile you are at it.

I am not among those who remember pretty much any of the nonsense from Moana (2016), though I am sure I could identify the music.  Disney is not aiming Moana 2 at me, though, so the rest of you will probably understand why Moana (Auli’i Cravalho) is out on a deserted island by herself.  More pointedly, I do not get why it is a big deal, nor the significance of the fact that there are no other people around their Pacific atoll.  I do seem to recall that her fellow villagers were not keen on going out on the water, but that appears to have vanished in whatever time has passed since the last film.  As she effortlessly guides her outrigger sailing canoe back to her home, her fellows excitedly greet the news she brings.  At that previous location, her lunatic rooster Heihei (voiced by Alan Tudyk, which needs to be credited for some reason) stumbles upon a broken piece of property that suggests the existence of other nations beyond the waves.  To get to them, Moana’s father, Tui (voiced by Temuera Morrison), names Moana their Wayfinder.  During the ceremony meant to inaugurate her into this position, two things happen.  First, she is struck by some kind of lightning that grants her a vision of Tautai Vasa (voiced by Gerald Ramsey), a predecessor of hers.  He had gone off to look for the mythical island of Motufetu, which is said to be where people across the ocean connect.  He was thwarted in this mission by the storm god Nalo (voiced by Tofiga Fepulea’i), who wants to keep all humans isolated from one another.  Why?  Who knows.  Secondly, a comet appears in the sky seemingly pointing the way to Motufetu.  Now, if you are wondering where that crazy demi-god Maui (voiced by Dwayne Johnson) is by this point, we have seen him looking for Motufetu too, only to by swallowed by a kaiju sized clam controlled by Matangi (Awhimai Fraser).  Matangi is in league with Nalo, more like enslaved, but the former’s true purpose is to use Maui to lure in Moana.  This is about to be made more possible when Moana, this time with a crew that includes Kele (for comedic relief, I guess?), sets sails following the shooting star.  After a few days, they encounter what they first believe to be their destination, but turns out to be the movable islands of the coconut-clad miniature psychopaths called the Kakamora.  Moana had encountered them before and knows to be wary of them, but this time that want her help in finding their native land.  This was probably explained at the time, but all I could tell is that somehow this requires them going through the giant mollusk.  Inevitably, this goes poorly and they are all swept deeper into the monster’s gullet.  Moana is separated from the others, who find and free Maui.  Moana, meanwhile, meets Matangi, who has a song about the need for getting lost in order to find your way.  I will have more to say about that from a Catholic perspective later in this review.  Regardless, it turns out that Matangi’s true purpose in meeting Moana is for the human girl to defeat Nalo, reach Motufetu, and free Matangi from her enslavement.  Not long after this revelation, Maui and the others are reunited with Moana, and they are all sent on their way by Matangi.  Immediately, Maui does not help matters but saying that they are all going to die, save for him and his divine nature.  This does little to cheer them as they find themselves stranded on a barren bit of land, marooned there by Nalo’s machinations.  Realizing that he has been too harsh, Maui gives Moana a pep-song and they come up with a plan they hope will not result in their demise.  The goal is to set foot on Motufetu, which will need to be dragged up from the ocean depths by Maui.  While Moana and her crew dodge tidal waves and water spouts filled with lighting, Maui flies into the center of the Nalo storm to accomplish his end of the plan.  When this proves to be too much even for a demi-god, Moana dives down and places a hand on Motufetu.  Doing so breaks Nalo’s fury, but Moana looks to have drown in the process.  Maui jumps in to rescue her, but it is her ancestors visiting her in spirit form that restore her to life.  They also make her a demi-god . . . I think.  They give her gold sparkling tattoos on her arm and her trusty oar, and it seems implied, but I do not recall seeing anything suggesting divine status.  At any rate, with their destination reached, other people suddenly appear, who, logically speaking, had been on a similar quest as Moana.  How else can one account for them suddenly showing up in the middle of nowhere?  With this, Moana returns home with several unannounced guests.

It is Thanksgiving and Moana 2 is well-timed since this is a date when we do not mind (as much) uninvited guests.  More seriously, and obviously, it is a season to be thankful, and for me a big one is my Faith.  Seeing this movie and the role the ancestors play got me thinking about the way we venerate saints in Catholicism.  If not for the holy men and women who have gone before me, The Legionnaire would not exist, or the religion, for that matter.  Still, Moana 2 is not the only film to have what we can at least call similar attitudes on forebears.  What irks me is that Catholicism is not acknowledged for the honor it gives those that went before us.  In other settings, like Moana’s communication with her deceased grandmother Tala (voiced by Rachel House) or with Tautai Vasa, this is seen as a positive.  There is wisdom, or so we are told, in learning from their wisdom.  Strangely, the same thing cannot be said about the cloud of witnesses to the Faith that are the saints.  Whatever anyone thinks they know about Catholicism, it is usually erroneous accusations of worshipping Mary or the unfortunate priest sex abuse scandals.  The latter of these is unarguably problematic, but it promotes a distorted understanding of the Faith.  Catholicism is so much richer than the controversies that have wounded Her, and even a cursory survey of the lives of the saints would demonstrate that fact conclusively.  It is just as rich as any other tradition, and something I wish the broader culture would be more mindful of in the future.

Something else to be mindful of that is discussed in Moana 2 is the idea of being lost on purpose.  The film tried to turn this into a positive, but my Catholic Spidey senses were tingling.  There are some who might point to Gandalf’s consolation to Frodo Baggins in The Fellowship of the Ring, saying that “Not all who wander all lost,” the words coming from the pen of famous Catholic author J. R. R. Tolkien.  One can see parallels between that and what I described with Moana 2 since that is literally what the title character and her crew are doing.  However, Matangi’s advice goes against Gandalf’s wisdom.  We can feel like we are wandering in our quest to figure ourselves out, to find our purpose.  Moana complains about this, too, saying that every time she thinks she knows the direction she should be following, something changes.  To be fair to Matangi, that feeling of being adrift is not something to fear because that only compounds our problems.  Indeed, there is an interesting comparison to be made between the events in the film and Mark 4:35-41.  In it, Jesus is in a boat with His Disciples when they are suddenly confronted by a violent storm that has His followers petrified.  While they appear to be in danger of being swamped, Jesus remains asleep.  Only when they alert Him to the danger does he awaken, rebuke the tempest, and then ask why they were so afraid.  A common refrain from people in peril on the water is that all is lost.  With Jesus, nothing is lost.  You can wander anywhere, even into the teeth of a divine hurricane, but with God, nothing truly bad can happen.  Unfortunately, our movie has a sociopath-ish demi-god who is full of himself.  Being full of God is the better route.

I should also know better than to say anything ill of a movie like Moana 2.  Like any curmudgeon, Kele included, this stuff is simply not for me.  If you enjoy this sort of thing, fine, have at it, it is all yours.  I will gladly move on with my life and never see or think about this movie again.