When it comes to seasonally appropriate music this time of year (please note the lack of the word “Christmas”), who among us as little kids did not like “Frosty the Snowman?”  I think this is mainly due to it being about a magical being made of snow that comes to life to play all kinds of games with the children.  Actually, that sounds terrifying, in a child predator sort of way and spiritually speaking.  Yet, that did not stop the powers-that-be at Netflix from making Hot Frosty.  As I watched this so-called holiday movie unfold, I realized a pattern in this (vaster than you realize) sub-genre.  Call this pattern a sub-sub-genre, with a number of films that take a popular seasonal tune and turn it into an entire, feature-length production.  Keep this in mind as you read the synopsis.  The song will help you predict most of this, but there is still a bunch that is done for romantic comedy purposes.

A less seriously minded person might say that Kathy Barrett (Lacey Chabert) is in need of a Hot Frosty, though you will see in a little bit why this is a bad take.  What we are shown initially is a person who is neglecting herself and her home as she mechanically dresses in a frigid abode because the heating is broken.  Still, she has a good heart, which is on display when she walks across the main square of quaint Hope Springs, New York, to bring lunch to her fellow small business owners and friends, Mel (Sherry Miller) and Theo (Dan Lett).  They run a second-hand clothing store, and they just received a new scarf that Mel feels should go to Kathy.  Mel claims it will help Kathy find someone new.  Kathy is in need of such a new relationship because her previous husband had died, hence her current rut.  As she walks back across the square, she passes by the entries in the snowman building contest.  Pausing on an oddly muscular example, she puts the bit of clothing around a David-esque sculpture and walks away.  Later that night, it comes to life.  He startles an elderly couple walking their dog, mostly because he is running around crazily in the nude, before he falls through the window of Mel and Theo’s shop.  Seeing an old set of coveralls belonging to Jack (Dustin Milligan), he puts it on and this is how he gets his name.  The next morning, Kathy finds him milling around outside and invites him into her diner, believing him homeless.  He matter-of-factly claims to be a snowman, and that he loves her.  This is not the only thing about him that is off.  Despite complaining about being too warm when he is inside the restaurant, he is ice cold to the touch.  When questioned about this, he says that it is the scarf that brought him to life and is keeping him alive.  Not sure what else to do, she takes him to see Dottie (Katy Mixon Greer), a friend and doctor.  Dottie recognizes Jack for what he is, despite being a scientist, and suggests this to a disbelieving Kathy.  Meanwhile, Sheriff Nathaniel Hunter (Craig Robinson), and his unassuming partner, Deputy Ed Schatz (Joe Lo Truglio), are determined to find the perpetrator of the public indecency and burglary.  With Kathy keeping Jack at home for the time being, Sheriff Hunter comes to the diner and asks her about these supposedly dastardly crimes.  As such, and because Jack is so infectiously kind, she takes it upon herself to keep him from being found by the police.  Despite her request to “lay low,” he gets noticed by passers-by as he is outside, shirtless and showing off his well-sculpted body while fixing Kathy’s leaky roof.  He is spotted by a neighbor who cannot resist such a specimen, asking him to come over and do some maintenance to her own home.  Jack innocently agrees, though he is clearly eye-candy for the old ladies gathered in the living room.  By the way, if you are wondering how this whimsical snow creature learns to be Mr. Fix-It, it is from watching television.  Kathy is not pleased by the exposure, and is even less thrilled when Jack mentions that he has promised to help build scenery for the upcoming winter dance at the school.  He also wonders why she is angry with him, and this is when she opens up about her late husband.  Once more, he wins her over by insisting that he wants to do as much good as he can with the time he is allotted.  What Christian could argue with such a sentiment?  With her approval, he begins working on this new project, which only increases his popularity around town.  He further sows good will when he goes to Mel and Theo, apologizing for what he did and offering to fix the damage.  He might be spreading good cheer, but Sheriff Hunter, in spite of Deputy Schatz’s objections, remains convinced that they need to locate this supposedly hardened criminal.  Following going together as a date to the ball on which Jack had worked so hard, he assists Kathy with putting together her annual Christmas party.  Incidentally, I am guessing as to the reason for the celebration since the word “Christmas” is said once during the entire runtime, and not in connection with this soiree.  Everyone is enjoying themselves until Sheriff Buzzkill arrives to arrest Jack, having found footage from an automated teller machine (ATM) of Jack’s naked shenanigans.  Kathy follows them to the lock-up inside the Sheriff’s office, pointing out the absurdity of the situation.  Sheriff Hunter remains obstinate, believing Jack’s lack of fingerprints means that the snowman is a spy.  Hey, there is an idea for a Christmas movie. . . .  It takes a crowd of people outside the building demanding that Jack be set free, spurred on by a frantic Kathy who knows that he is suffering being inside a “hot” room, to get Jack released.  By the time Sheriff Hunter relents, they bring out an unconscious Jack.  He seems non-responsive, and Kathy kisses him before getting up to leave.  Like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937), Jack returns to life, and in Pinocchio (1940) fashion, becomes a real boy, er, man.  This allows Jack and Kathy to spend Christmas together, closing with them leaving for a trip to Hawaii.

The vacation to Hawaii at the end of Hot Frosty is something Jack came up with while watching television.  Like the other two movies referenced a moment ago, I can see where the writers of this movie might have been using material from Frozen (2013).  Luckily, Hot Frosty is not a musical, or animated, so it has these qualities going for it.  It is also, as surprised as I am to say so despite the fantastical premise, a more serious film.  As a character, Jack is a bit like Buddy Hobbs (Will Ferrell) in Elf (2003), with the same sense of earnestness.  The main difference is that Jack is a Hot Frostythe Snowman, get it?  Objectification aside, he truly does care about people, and I admired him for his heartfelt desire to help, Christian charity at its finest.  He even displays an enviable emotional maturity.  When he and Kathy are at the dance, they have a romantic moment after stepping outside in order to let him cool off.  However, he holds back from truly giving himself over to his feelings because he knows that, as a person made of frozen precipitation, his time on Earth is limited.  Because of that, for her and humanity in general, he wants to do as much good as he can in the time his is allotted.  One could look at this in a shallow, you only live once (YOLO) manner, and justify all kinds of awful behavior.  Such nihilism is antithetical to what God wants for us.  Strangely enough, it is Deputy Schatz that codified the correct way of thinking about this when he says “A man is defined by his actions.”  It is said to Sheriff Hunter to try to get the head cop to release Jack.  This aligns with Catholic teaching, which supports the idea that God will one day judge us based on our actions.  Therefore, it is a smart move to be as much like Jack as possible, but the Christian in me would add that prayer also helps.

Our Hot Frosty wants to help everyone because he loves them.  There is a brief argument between him and Kathy on this subject, with her saying that it is impossible for him to feel that way about her.  Jack is right, though, and God would agree with him.  I think He would also say that it is okay to watch this movie, despite a little innuendo.