The consistent watermark while watching movies this time of year is whether they are Christmas material.  What is the standard by which this criterion is met?  For this Catholic, the focus should be on the birth of Jesus.  My repetition of this fact is not my own reasoning at work, but it is in fact the reason for the season.  Until we realize this as a society, I will continue repeating it.  It is remarkable to me how much we ignore the roots of the holiday, though not surprising.  We ignore history all the time, so I suppose I should not be too fussed.  As such, even though it is listed with other Christmas films, Nutcrackers is not a Christmas movie.  Its lumping with such cinematic material should be evident by the title, evoking Pytor Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker.  It is the work of theater that parents (and sometimes uncles like me with their nieces) drag their little ones to as the calendar approaches December 25^th.  It, like Nutcrackers, has nothing to do with Christmas as a practicing Catholic would understand it.  At the same time, it is more worthy of watching than a whole host of other selections I could list.

Michael “Mike” Maxwell (Ben Stiller) speeds down the kind of lonely country road that would have been familiar to me as a child as Nutcrackers begins.  He is on the phone with his boss back in Chicago discussing a big proposal for a real estate development project, something on which he had been working on for years, but he is distracted.  This is because he is on the way to the home of his recently deceased sister to help sign over custody of her four sons into foster care.  We have already seen that they are having trouble coping with their loss, getting into trouble by sneaking into a nearby fair and starting up the rides to the fury of the snoozing security guard.  However, when Mike arrives, he is greeted by the original guardian leaving and Gretchen Rice (Linda Cardellini), the latter of the Ohio Department of Family Services.  She informs him that while they search for an appropriate family to take on the Kicklighter boys, he will have to watch over them.  He is not pleased with this prospect, but feels he owes it to his late sibling to at least stick around until Gretchen can find a suitable family to take care of them.  The comedy here is supposed to be centered on the ill-equipped Mike trying to handle four rambunctious boys.  The only thing that I find hard to approve of is his lack of restraint when going over their lesson on sex education.  The kids all appear to be resourceful, an independence born of the fact that they had been home schooled on a farm.  Nonetheless, they are too young for such a teaching, particularly the youngest, a set of twins named Samuel (Atlas Janson) and Simon Kicklighter (Arlo Janson).  Despite their antics, Mike is able to get into somewhat of a rhythm in looking after them.  He is frustrated, though, by Gretchen’s well-meaning lack of progress with the foster system and his company’s constant pressure that he return to Chicago to give his all-important presentation.  As for securing temporary parents for his nephews, Mike receives a boost when he meets Al Wilmington (Toby Huss), the richest man in this small agricultural town.  Mike clumsily makes it known that the boys are up for adoption, but regardless Al shows interest, inviting them to a Christmas party at his house.  Despite things going well for Justice Kicklighter (Homer Janson), the oldest of the four, getting a kiss from Mia (Maren Heisler), his crush, the rest is a predictable disaster.  There is another hope for placement with a single mother that regularly adopts, Rose (Edi Patterson), but when Mike goes to check out her house, she is comedically crazy with a house full of other children.  In other words, it is not the right situation for the Kicklighter children.  One final solution is presented by Gretchen when she informs Mike that a family will take the twins, but not the older two.  Not wanting to see them separated, Mike refuses.  The solution that they land on is found with the middle child, Steven Kicklighter Jr. “Junior” (Ulysses Janson).  He had written his own version of Tchaikovsky’s ballet, and Mike believes that putting it on will be a good way for people to see how great are the brothers.  At first, Justice wants no part of the production.  His mother had been a ballerina of some repute, teaching him before she passed away, but he had not wanted to dance since her death.  Needing his expertise, Mike convinces the pre-teen to play a role when Mia agrees to be in it.  She, too, had gotten lessons from Mike’s sister, and Mia misses being on the floor with Justice.  With the entire town getting behind the opening of the eponymous work, Mike is seeing everything work in his favor.  He is talking to Gretchen on the night of its inauguration explaining how excited he is to have the Kicklighter kids on display, when he gets a call that his presentation is approved and he needs to get back to Chicago immediately.  Gretchen is disgusted and walks away.  Worse yet, Simon overhears the exchange and tells his brothers.  Not being able to find his nephews, Mike has to tell the audience that the show has been canceled when he is informed that it has simply been moved outside.  Near the theater is a memorial put together by the boys where their parents died in a car crash.  Instead, they perform in the street to the delight of those gathered, particularly Mike.  Realizing he has already been acting as their surrogate for some time, he decides to stay.

The final scene in Nutcrackers is Mike with his nephews, opening gifts on Christmas.  I suppose this is the connection to the holiday that is supposedly the subject of all these films.  At the same time, I hope you saw what is decidedly anti-Christmas in how Mike behaves, trying to push off care of the boys to anyone with enough of a sense of responsibility, other than himself, of course.  The title ballet, while a cute idea for the kids, is the worst in its intention on his part.  Gretchen is right to be angry when he clearly states his purpose with it.  You know those manger displays we see in churches and on the lawns of those families with a semblance of the true Christmas spirit?  Those exist because the Holy Family was rejected by every other inn in Bethlehem, leading Mary to give birth in a stable, essentially.  Like the Kicklighter kids, nobody had the space for Joseph and the expecting Mary, forcing them into unusual circumstances.  As usual, this is me making inferences based on Faith, although there is a manger set at Al’s estate . . . in which Junior replaces the infant Jesus with a giant plastic ice cream cone before it is all demolished by a golf cart.  What has a bit more of a solid connection, if equally unintentional, is Simon’s discussion of how his parents are in the stars.  It is typically bad theology.  We like to think that when our loved ones die, they get little angel wings and a harp, and inhabit the clouds above us.  However, stars play a key role in the Christmas story.  Namely, they led the Three Wisemen to Jesus to bring Him gifts befitting a King and Messiah.  A lot of people complain about the commercialization of the holiday, which is fair to a certain extent, but forget that presents were at the first Christmas.  The gift here is the Kicklighter brothers for Mike.  He realizes this is the case when he looks into the sky and sees a shooting star, which is similar to what brought people to see Jesus.  If only we could all be similarly led this time of year.

If certain critics could be more led by Jesus, Nutcrackers would not have gotten mixed reviews.  The worst I saw was one calling it “clichéd,” and the equivalent of getting socks on Christmas morning.  Because this has nothing to do with that holiday, other in the ways I referenced, it is one that would be useful, like getting socks, any time of the year.