One of the first films I reviewed for The Legionnaire was Fighting With My Family (2019).  It is a biopic about Saraya Knight (Florence Pugh), also known as Paige or Saraya-Jade Bevis or some other names I could list.  Saraya is a professional wrestler, and they go through appellations like clothing styles.  The last place I expected the real-life person to show up is in a Christmas movie.  If you have seen the previously mentioned flick, or read my review, you would agree with this assessment.  Yet, there she is in Santa’s Little Helper (2015).  I guess because she is British she is pegged to be the villain.  Stereotypes aside, it makes a little more sense when you know that this little contribution to the vast army of seasonal cinematic material was produced by WWE Studios.  For clarification, that stands for World Wrestling Entertainment, as in the same outfit that gave us the likes of Hulk Hogan and Randy “The Macho Man” Savage.  I hope my laying out of all these ingredients has got you interested in reading what is one of the more bizarre and cheesy examples of this sub-genre.

The last thing that Dax (Mike “The Miz” Mizanin) would call himself, aside from bizarre or cheesy, would be Santa’s Little Helper.  Indeed, it is difficult to imagine such a creature showing up at a community center, telling them it is about to be bulldozed, and ignoring their Christmas backed entreaties for leniency.  Such a person would also not be as happy and smug as he is, as is noted by Santa Claus (Eric Keenleyside) on Dax’s way in and out of the community center.  Further, it appears that Dax has few friends at work at his . . . real estate firm?  Whatever it is he does, his poor treatment of others finally catches up with him as he is fired.  The bad news does not end with the termination of his employment.  Upon getting home to the house he can no longer afford, his girlfriend informs him that he is leaving, and his former company repossesses his car.  Somehow, though, Santa had seen something in Dax.  While getting in some physical training on the stairs of his North Pole residence with Billie (AnnaLyne McCord), one of his elves, he suggests that Dax could be a candidate for the position of Ho-Ho-Ho.  Sigh.  Thank God this is a PG rated movie, but it is the elf that is second-in-command to Santa Claus of the whole operation.  Billie is surprised by the notion of bringing in a “Normie,” non-elf human, for such an important role.  She is even more startled to learn that Santa is sending her to assess Dax’s qualifications.  Part of this is her self-consciousness over her round ears, which is considered a birth defect among elves.  Another factor is having to deal with Eleanor (Saraya-Jade Bevis, credited as Paige), the elf who feels entitled to become the Ho-Ho-Ho.  Ugh.  Despite her reservations, Billie obediently leaves for the real world and is not initially impressed with Dax, especially when he answers his door in his robe and underwear.  The state of his house does not help, either.  Nonetheless, they forge ahead with a series of tests designed to see how he . . . um, handles pressure?  Honestly, I have no idea what sending him into a biker bar to tell them he has scratched one of their motorcycles, only to have his brains beat in, has to do with making sure the boys and girls of the world get their toys.  Speaking of kids, the next challenge is to dress up in a monkey costume and entertain the little ones at a Chucky Cheese-esque venue.  As he is punched and nearly puked upon, he continues to guess at who is interested in hiring him.  Billie maintains the secrecy, only saying that it is somebody famous that everyone would recognize.  Dax’s desire to learn the identity of this potential employer helps him endure these evident torments, and earns him a little respect from Billie.  He is also spurred on by the appearance of Eleanor, who claims to be his competition.  The next day, Billie takes Dax out for another round of tasks, the first one being to address the seniors at a retirement home.  Once more, I am fuzzy on how this helps him become the eponymous person, particularly when the females ask him to take off his shirt, but taking him out of his comfort zone seems to have an effect on him.  This is brought to the fore when Billie decides to stop for a hot dog.  While Dax waits by the car, a group of rough looking youth push past.  From the alley around the corner, he hears cries for help.  It turns out to be an older gentleman who had just had a family heirloom ring stolen by those same teenagers.  Dax manages to intimidate them into returning the jewelry, and Billie tells him that he just passed the last test.  It is then that she finally tells him that it is Santa Claus is the one who wants to employ him.  His response is predictably incredulous until she uses some of that so-called Christmas magic to do some physics defying feats, and Santa shows up to do the same.  In case it was not obvious, Santa was the gentleman in the alley.  Yet, upon getting to the North Pole, Eleanor cites some made-up elvish legalese that says that she has the right to challenge Dax’s appointment as Ho-Ho-Ho.  To settle the score (and believe me, I am not making this up), Dax and Eleanor have a race on an obstacle course in the trees.  Because she is the best elf on the course, she triumphs.  Instead of sulking, Dax steals the magic bell and goes back to the community center to stop it from being demolished.  Santa comes to witness the completion of Dax’s transformation.  Santa then takes away the Ho-Ho-Ho spot from Eleanor for being a bad elf, I guess, and gives it to Billie.  Billie and Dax kiss, and this silliness comes to an end.

As I watched Santa’s Little Helper, I pondered as to whether this was the silliest Christmas movie I have ever seen.  I try to avoid hyperbole, and there are plenty of contenders for such a title.  Still, even when you can rightly question the sanity of the people behind the camera in many of these films, there is some value in the events portrayed therein.  There is a line in the film that actually dovetails nicely with such nonsense and a Catholic analysis.  When talking to Dax about being the Ho-Ho-Ho and how crazy of an idea it is, Santa makes the comment that sometimes the choice that makes the least sense makes the most sense.  My Catholic sensibilities tripped over this statement.  When it comes to living a life in Christ, so much of what people do appears foolhardy, particularly to those who do not believe in God.  There is a clear parallel in the movie as Billie lets on about working for Santa, and Dax reacts angrily.  It seems like lunacy to be him, being on the brink of losing everything and pinning all his hopes on this stranger (actually, this sounds more like his fault, anyway), only to be told he is being courted by Kris Kringle.  Since Santa does not exist, I would be angry, too.  Unfortunately, that is how many people react when they encounter Christianity.  They are incredulous to begin with, and upon being told about what they will have to do to follow Jesus, they turn away.  Jesus experienced this in His time on Earth.  John 6:60-69 sees Jesus telling His disciples some hard truths about Himself, only to have many of them leave.  He asks the rest if they will stay, and Peter speaks for them, saying in verse 68, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”  This also speaks to correctly identifying somebody’s character.  I may not like the idea of Santa, but he is able to see through Dax’s bravado to the good person within.  That is in all of us, and God sees it in you. It is not the sinner that Dax was, but the incredible person that will stand in front of a bulldozer to save a community center, that is who God made us to be.

Yes, Dax’s deeds in Santa’s Little Helper are noteworthy.  It is just hard to deal with the wrapping, pun intended.  This is not one I would wish on any of you.