There is a line in the first few minutes of Batman Forever (1995) that reminded me why these movies are a series of eye-rollers for me.  Without preamble, Batman (Val Kilmer) is heading out to deal with a hostage situation orchestrated by the villain known as Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones).  As the Caped Crusader is getting into the Batmobile, his faithful butler, Alfred Pennyworth (Michael Gough), asks if the hero would like a sandwich for his trip.  Batman replies that he will get drive-through.  If this does not sound strange to you, then Google the Batmobile from this era in the franchise and picture that pulling up to the window at McDonald’s.  This is just the opening scene.  The rest does not get any better.

I guess you would also be in the mood for a Big Mac if you were Batman Forever dealing with inept villains like Two-Face.  I already mentioned the lack of a set-up for any of this action.  Two-Face wants to kill Batman, and this is all we know at this point.  Later, it is revealed that Two-Face, once district attorney Harvey Dent, blames Gotham’s Dark Knight for allowing a defendant to splash acid onto half of the lawyer’s face.  The footage shown of this event on a newscast is hilarious, but let me get back to the synopsis.  Randomly in the crowd is Dr. Chase Meridian (Nicole Kidman), a psycho-analyst specializing in dual personalities who has a crush on Batman.  They exchange significant looks before he goes on to save the day.  The next day, Bruce Wayne (Val Kilmer) visits the technology division at one of his companies.  Eagerly awaiting his rival is a low-level scientist named Edward Nygma (Jim Carey).  Edward believes that all he needs to get his hairbrained invention of a device that can make people think they are inside their favorite television show is to meet the super wealthy businessman.  When Bruce enters the room, Edward behaves as any obsessive-compulsive would, but Bruce takes it in stride.  Edward’s pitch draws polite interest, but his eagerness to have it immediately approved leads to Bruce denying the madman’s request that they work together.  Devastated, Edward goes ahead with his plans anyway, testing his device on his boss before murdering him by throwing the executive out of a several stories high window.  Everything is extremely tall in Gotham.  Meanwhile, between a few more zany attempts by Two-Face to lure in Batman, Bruce uses Dr. Meridian’s attraction to his alter-ego to get a date.  Where does the wealthiest man in the city take the most beautiful woman?  To the circus, of course.  Among the big-top performers are the Flying Graysons, a family trapeze artists.  In the middle of their routine, Two-Face and his goons once more sow their discord, planting a bomb in the middle of the floor before leaving just as quickly.  On the way out, Two-Face fires a shot that strikes the struts holding the high-wire in place.  All the Graysons fall from a great height to their death, except for Richard “Dick” Grayson (Chris O’Donnell), who manages to get the explosive safely out of the tent.  For reasons that I can only guess at, Dick is brought to Wayne manor to be looked after . . . even though he is over eighteen?  Indeed, Dick is about to depart on his own when Bruce shows the young man his rad collection of motorcycles, suggesting Dick could have one if he sticks around and works on it.  As this unfolds, Edward, who had watched with glee as Two-Face had terrorized the circus, decides to introduce himself to his fellow bad guy with his own persona: The Riddler.  He adopts this moniker because of the riddles he sends to Bruce to spook his enemy.  To avoid immediate dismemberment, The Riddler reminds Two-Face that they have a common enemy in Batman, even though Edward’s actual target is Bruce.  In order to get to the wealthy businessman, Edward develops the device that Bruce had rejected, seeking to put it in every household in Gotham in order to suck the knowledge and secrets out of their brains.  Somehow this will make him smarter, but dash if I could see any discernible effect in this regard.  Once he is ready, he invites Bruce to the launch of the product.  Accompanying him is Dick, who has since discovered Bruce’s secret identity by sneaking into the Bat Cave.  At first, all the young man can see is the potential to get revenge on Two-Face by murdering the one-time prosecutor who had killed his parents.  Bruce cautions against such drastic action because of the trauma he has had to endure from losing his parents, a motif the movie throws in seemingly whenever it is bored.  Dick is not pleased with the advice, but instead of carrying it out, agrees to remain at Wayne Manor for the time being.  At Edward’s unveiling, Bruce is lured into one of the demonstration booths where the machine reads his thoughts.  This is going swimmingly until Two-Face does what all Two-Faces do, leading to Bruce doing a quick change.  Dick dons his own costume, but ends up saving Batman instead of seeking out Two-Face.  Bruce is not happy with Dick’s actions, but the young man is adamant that Batman now has a partner.  Instead, Bruce decides he is going to give up the super hero mantle . . . for about five minutes.  As he is trying to admit to Dr. Meridian about his alter-ego, The Riddler and Two-Face, having discovered Bruce’s secret identity from the brain scan, come to Wayne Manor.  They end up kidnapping Dr. Merdian, forcing Bruce to get back into the pointy-eared costume.  Dick has his own duds too, becoming Robin, and together they do the inevitable: take down The Riddler and Two-Face.  The former dies from another long fall, while Edward ends up in Arkham Asylum.  That is all.

Or at least that is all I want to say about the plot of Batman Forever.  Still, I have two more paragraphs to go, so I might as well talk about Dick’s desire for vengeance on Two-Face from a Catholic perspective.  I would love to broaden this out more to discuss Batman’s overall commitment to not killing his enemies, but that seems to happen a lot throughout these movies.  To be sure, they are not intentional deaths.  Yet, let us specifically look at Two-Face’s demise.  In an earlier scene, Robin has his mortal foe dangling off the side of a precipitous drop, and could let Two-Face plummet.  Instead, he remembers what Batman told him about such actions.  He then reaches down to pull the villain to safety, telling Two-Face that he should be in jail.  This, unsurprisingly, backfires on Robin, and he is captured.  Despite the likeliness of this outcome, I can at least applaud Robin for not following through on his inclination to get even.  Showing mercy to our enemies is a Christ-like thing to do.  Then again, being a vigilante is probably not Christian behavior, but we can ignore that for the sake of argument.  If it were acceptable for one of God’s children to beat up criminals, it could be said to be commendable to not take it to the extreme of killing them.  It is a pro-life stance from a certain point of view.  Every wrongdoer deserves the chance to make right, and murdering them for their deeds does not allow for them to hear once more God’s will and follow it.  In explaining this philosophy to Dick, Bruce puts it a little differently.  Bruce points out that an emotional reaction like revenge is one that is never satisfied, which speaks to its sinful nature.  The enemy is always trying to get us with thoughts that can appear justified, but ultimately do more harm to us and those around us than good.

I wish I could say that watching Batman Forever does more good than harm.  Actually, if all you care about is seeing your favorite super hero kick and punch a lot of people, then have at it.  At the same time, aside from the violence, there are also some suggestive moments that are not great.  Hence, this one is a hard pass.