There are types fear that are difficult to overcome.  I am not referring to the kind induced by scary monsters jumping out of dark corners.  The variety that imperils one’s life is no less real, but can be dealt with in the abstract.  A soldier on the battlefield, an acrobat walking the tightrope, a cancer patient facing the possibility that these treatments might not work, these are all situations that I have never been faced with, but have read of others doing so.  They take courage and victory over them is sweet, but they are more defined.  Fear of life itself is something different, and already we are swaying into nebulous territory.  That is also the point.  As we grow older, we develop coping mechanisms, consciously and without knowing it, that take on a comfortable feeling.  When we become set in our ways, recognizing possible flaws in our way turns into a near impossibility.  That is one of the reasons why Christians are taught to trust God first, or as Proverbs 3:5 puts it, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely.”  If you watch Always Be My Maybe(2019) and get caught up in the drug use and premarital sex, then you are missing at least one commonality between Christianity and the broader culture: fear stinks.

What is evident from the beginning of Always Be My Maybe is that Marcus Kim (Randall Park) and Sasha Tran (Ali Wong) have much in common.  As children, Marcus (Emerson Min) and Sasha (Miya Cech) were neighbors, the Kims inviting Sasha over when her parents worked late at their family store.  Judy Kim (Susan Park), Marcus’ mother, became a surrogate mom to Sasha, showing the young lady how to cook for herself.  Marcus and Sasha spent so much time together that everyone assumed that they would be a couple.  When they turned eighteen, Judy died in an accident.  The comfort Sasha offers Marcus gets physical, and they have sex.  Their awkwardness afterwards (and further proof as to the trickiness of such experiences before marriage) devolves into an argument as he says he is not going to go to college and remarks about how Judy was not Sasha’s real mom.  As a result, they do not speak for sixteen years.  In the meantime, Sasha goes on to become a celebrity chef, and is engaged to Brandon Choi (Daniel Dae Kim), a successful restauranteur.  She is set to move back to San Francisco from Los Angeles to open a new restaurant.  On the eve of relocating, Brandon announces that they should postpone their wedding because he has been invited to India to tour other potential venue locations.  While they are apart, he further suggests that they date other people.  Sasha acts as if she is okay with this development, but privately she is upset by seemingly have to start over with a new relationship.  Nonetheless, her childhood best friend and manager, Veronica (Michelle Buteau), hires Marcus’ father, Harry Kim (James Saito), to install an air conditioning system in Sasha’s new place knowing that Marcus will be on hand to assist.  In the intervening years, Marcus has stayed in San Francisco taking care of his dad, and not much else.  He still smokes weed every day and plays in the same band from when he was eighteen.  Music is arguably his one passion, and Harry enthusiastically invites Sasha to Marcus’ next gig despite the evident strangeness of the friends’ reunion.  Though Sasha is initially against attending, when she sees the way Brandon is flaunting his escapades on social media, she decides to go to the concert.  After the show, she meets Jenny (Vivian Bang), the dreadlock sporting youth volunteer Marcus is currently dating.  Jenny invites the other two to her place so she can cook an awful meal for them, and ignores their distress in attempting to eat it.  Regardless, Marcus and Sasha start behaving as the friends they once were to the point that Harry notices, cajoling his son to finally confess his true feelings.  Just as he is about to do so, though, she announces that she has met someone new.  Excited to surprise Marcus with this person’s identity, Sasha invites him and Jenny on a double date.  It turns out to Keanu Reeves (as himself), who is stereotypically trite.  Marcus and Jenny go back to Keanu’s massive hotel room after dinner for some frivolity, but Marcus has a poor time of it and the night ends with him punching Keanu in the face.  Jenny is starstruck all the same, deciding to stay, leaving Marcus and Sasha to share an Uber home.  Along the way, they give into their desires for one another, and it is the beginning of a long-awaited romance.  Everything is fine until they are visiting Veronica after the birth of her baby and Sasha reminds everyone that she will soon be heading to New York to open another restaurant.  Sasha wants Marcus to go with her because she loves him, but he tells her that he does not want to leave San Francisco.  Because he takes care of his dad, Marcus is afraid to abandon Harry.  Yet, Marcus comes home one evening to find Harry kissing another woman.  Between that and a falling out with his bandmates, Marcus realizes that he has been behaving selfishly, fearing change.  In response, he rents his own apartment and dedicates himself to growing his band.  At the same time, he repeatedly sends messages to Sasha asking for forgiveness.  He believes his messages are not getting through until he visits her San Francisco restaurant and finds her vacant office full of his band’s merchandise.  This is what finally gives him the courage to go to her, and they presumably live happily ever after.

I, for one, was happy with most of what I saw in Always Be My Maybe.  I do not love the drugs and sex, and again, I feel the problems they cause underscore the wisdom of Church teaching on these matters.  At the same time, the title says much about the idea of fear.  At least in my reading, and this is admittedly colored by my experiences, “maybe” is a safe word.  It is an emotional crutch that keeps another person in a state of limbo as to their status vis-à-vis yourself.  You could be struggling with members of the opposite sex, but there will always be that one person who you could pivot to just in case.  Does this sound fair?  I should hope not because it is completely unfair.  Sasha says it well.  While playing a version of truth or dare in Keanu’s cavernous hotel room, she admits that Marcus was her first crush.  Later, in the midst of delivering an ultimatum to Marcus regarding coming with her to New York, she says that she has always loved him.  In short, it is he who has been treating her in a nebulous manner.  Luckily, God never does that with us.  We clearly know where we stand with Him, and it is closer to His heart than we can imagine.  When we seek another in marriage, and I say that because it is something that Sasha claims to want, we are desiring an approximation of that love.  To deny this truth is to deny oneself, and that is what Marcus is doing for most of the film.  He makes the situation tricky for himself because he wraps it in the nobility of taking care of his father and loyalty to his local community.  There is nothing wrong with these notions by themselves, but they become a god for him that he clearly needs to overcome.  It takes stepping outside of himself and having others point out his mistakes, for him to make the right choice.  He may not think of it in such terms, but by telling Sasha that he wants to get married and have babies is brave and Christian.

Personally, it takes some bravery from me to watch movies like Always Be My Maybe.  It hits close to home for me, but that is not why I recommend it.  I stand by my disapproval of some of the behaviors contained therein, but the content is light compared to some other examples I have seen.  Instead, it is a sweet romantic comedy that plays to those familiar notes in the right way.