Sports often determines what I listen to while doing daily chores or driving.  To be sure, I do listen to a lot of Catholic related material.  In addition to Father Mike Schmitz’s Bible in a Year and Catechism in a Year series, I also consume the Hallow app’s saint stories, all of which I recommend.  Still, I always come back to the comings and goings of professional teams from Chicago because I will always consider that home.  I must confess, though, to being somewhat fragile.  If there have been any recent struggles, I tend to tune in to something else.  My alternative of late has been History Hit’s Gone Medieval podcast.  In doing so, I have been reminded of a few movies I have yet to review.  One of these broadcasts discussed today’s film, The Vikings (1958).  It is one that my dad once told me had been a childhood favorite of his, though all I ever saw of it was the ending.  With my recent foray into that time period, I thought today would be as good a day as any to see whether my father’s young cinematic choices were any good.  In short, I could see where a seven-year-old might think it is neat, but a trained historian would roll his or her eyes more than once.  Does it have any value outside of its inaccuracies?  You tell me.

I am not sure there is any value in seeing the opening credits to The Vikings, which use a Bayeux Tapestry motif to set up the story you are about to watch.  Sure, the Anglo-Saxon, Danish, and Norman conflict it depicts does have these historical Scandinavian raiders in it, but it is not a promising start for this historian.  Nor is the next scene, which has the title people pillaging Northumbria (part of modern England), killing the king, and raping his wife, Queen Enid (Maxine Audley).  Because there is currently no heir, the deceased monarch’s cousin, Aella (Frank Thring), is crowned to the widow’s dismay.  When she voices her concern to Father Godwin (Alexander Knox), he points out the necessity of a transition of power in light of the lack of the next in line.  Her response is to confess that the Viking leader, the legendary (historically and in the film) Ragnar Lodbrok (Ernest Borgnine), had impregnated her.  This is seen as a potential threat to Aella, so they keep the child hidden as much as possible before deciding to send the male baby away with a piece of the Northumbrian king’s sword as a token of his identity around his neck.  Twenty years pass and Aella is attempting to unite his kingdom with Wales by marrying the Welsh ruler’s daughter, Morgana (Janet Leigh).  Amongst those witnessing the contract is Egbert (James Donald), a nobleman who had been on hand for Aella’s coronation.  While discussing the reasons for the joining of the two, at the top of the list is strength in fighting the Scandinavians.  Aella wonders aloud why Egbert’s lands have remained untouched by these Medieval pirates before promptly accusing Egbert of treason.  Though Egbert is put in prison, he escapes execution with some help from Ragnar.  Together, they return to Norway and are greeted by an enthusiastic set of villagers heralding their arrival, including Ragnar’s beloved son, Einar (Kirk Douglas).  If Ragnar is exuberant, if coarse, in his hospitality, Einar is enthusiastically rude to Egbert since the visitor is English.  Nonetheless, they go hunting with falcons and Einar’s bird is outflown by that of Eric (Tony Curtis), a slave.  When the brash Einar kicks Eric for the latter’s impudence, Eric unleashes his falcon on Einar.  The raptor’s talons blind one of Einar’s eyes, but he hesitates in killing Eric.  Instead, Eric is brought before Ragnar at the feast that night when they decide to slowly murder the bondsman by tying him to a submerged stake and letting the tide drown him.  The person warning against this action is Kitala (Eileen Way), a prophetess who foresees bad omens in harming Eric.  For Egbert, the encounter is a little more concrete since he notices the piece of the Northumbrian sword that falls from Eric’s neck. Egbert understands that Eric could be vital in overthrowing Aella, but the nobleman is told the only way he can have Egbert is if the servant survives the coming flood.  When this happens, it is a sign from Odin to Kitala, but Egbert has the person he needs.  Yet, because he is not yet trusted, he and Eric are left behind when the Vikings capture Morgana as a hostage to use against Northumbria.  The mission is led by Einar, who is immediately smitten by her.  At the same time back in Norway, Kitala tells Eric that he will meet a princess and fall in love with her, and that he will know her when he sees her.  Of course, this turns out to be Morgana, whom he saves from Einar’s ravenous advances, and they escape by boat.  In giving chase, Ragnar’s ship runs into a protruding rock and quickly sinks, though he is saved by Eric.  Together, they go to Aella, using Ragnar as a bargaining chip to gain Morgana’s freedom from the Northumbrian king.  Aella agrees, but then Eric does Ragnar the Viking courtesy of giving Ragnar a sword to face his death so that he can get into Valhalla upon his demise.  This angers Aella, who reneges on the compromise, prompting Morgana to say that she will marry Aella to save Eric’s life.  Still, Eric has a hand cut off for his trouble before making it back to Norway.  Once he gets there, he finds Einar wanting to settle scores, once more blaming Eric for his troubles.  What rallies the Norsemen is Eric telling them of Ragnar’s treatment.  Thus, Einar and Eric temporarily put aside their differences to attack Northumbria.  In the aftermath of the quick and successful siege of Aella’s (historically impossible) castle, it is Einar who gets to Eric first.  She tells Einar that she loves Eric, as should he because they are brothers.  Nonetheless, they have a sword fight that ends with Einar about to deliver the fatal blow.  However, he hesitates just long enough for Eric to mortally stab Einar.  In wondering about the pause, Eric is finally told the truth of his parentage.  In response, Einar is giving a Viking funeral that provides our conclusion.

I promise not to get into the historical weeds in talking about The Vikings, but having Einar’s body put into his boat, pushed from the shore, and set ablaze with arrows, is inaccurate.  I mention this one in particular because this is what popular imagination says Vikings did with their honored dead.  If that were true, then we would know much less about these Medieval Scandinavians because it is through burials that we get much of our cultural information.  What is nice about being a Catholic is that we have been pretty consistent with our end-of-life practices for two millennia, and that is something that will one day connect me back to people who lived in the ninth century, the period during which this film is set.  What also stands out about it, and happens to be true, is the fact that Vikings were still pagans.  The movie seems to prefer the term heathens, but in any case, it means someone who is not Christian.  I expected Egbert to make a greater deal out of this, but it is Morgana that raises the issue with Eric when he admits his feelings for her.  She talks about the impossible nature of a potential union between them.  Her first excuse is that he is a slave and she is a noblewoman, but that is set aside when she says that she would give up her birthright for him.  That leaves us with the religious differences.  This should not be so easily dismissed.  I speak from personal experience and as a historian.  For me, finding a Catholic woman to marry has always been my priority.  I have difficulty imagining not worshipping in a similar manner as my spouse.  My Faith is also a big part of my identity, which is hard for non-Catholics to understand.  These questions were not always the “deal breaker,” to use modern parlance.  There are accounts of either a husband or wife being the first to convert to Christianity, then leading their loved one (or nation in the case of some kings and queens) into the Faith.  Finally, it should be noted that eventually, even these wild men of the North became Christians.

That last note has a bit of irony to it since one of the first things you see in The Vikings is a prayer asking God for deliverance from the Northmen.  Though the movie spends little time on religion, this spiritual entreaty is arguably the most historically accurate aspect of the film.  Those who lived in the British Isles at this time saw the eponymous people as the scourge of God.  For such a dramatic description, sadly it is not a terribly exciting movie.  Hence, this one can be safely skipped.