Before COVID interrupted our lives, I was working in a predominately elderly parish.  I recall my pastor once commenting in a somewhat off-color manner as to the nighttime maneuvers of the area’s denizens.  Like many a group of single men and women put together in a place, romance is bound to happen in all its varieties.  Usually, popular culture makes fun of such dalliances, but Our Souls at Night (2017) has a different take on the matter.  Plainly, I expected my thoughts on the film to be broader than the ones to which I just alluded.  Instead, despite the relative age gap between myself and the two leads, I identified with them in some respects.  Let me tell you how I got to this point.

Like Louis Waters (Robert Redford) in Our Souls at Night, I go about my day alone, eating, watching television, and preparing for bed.  This is about to change for Louis.  On our initial evening, he unexpectedly gets a knock on his door from Addie Moore (Jane Fonda), a woman of similar advanced age who has lived down the street from him for decades.  She had paced in front of his house for a few moments before working up the courage to intrude.  The reason for her hesitation is that she has an odd proposition: that he comes over and sleep with her.  She means nothing sexual by it.  Her only desire is to get a good night’s rest lying next to someone, something that has eluded her in the years since her husband died and her son, Gene Moore (Matthias Schoenaerts), moved away.  Like Addie, Louis is also a widower, though he is confused as to why she would choose him.  For now, her explanation is that she had always thought him to be a good man despite them never getting to know one another.  Though surprised, he is not dismissive, asking for a little time to think about it.  Following a day and a half of his normal tasks, he packs a change of clothes and walks down the street.  Since they live in small town in Colorado, he goes to the backdoor so as to avoid being noticed by others in the neighborhood.  Their first night together is awkward, but they go to sleep on separate sides of the bed and he leaves in the morning.  The awkwardness dissipates as they settle into a nightly routine.  However, she soon insists that he enter her house through the front door, which brings the notice of others.  Louis first deals with this when he meets with his weekly groups of guys for coffee, and the talkative Dorlan Becker (Bruce Dern) comments on the seeming extra pep Louis possesses.  Louis is angry and embarrassed by these remarks, but is assuaged that night at dinner by Addie, who tells him simply to let it go.  He does so, but he also suggests that they go out for lunch the following day in order to legitimatize their relationship.  Their outing proves less revolutionary than they thought it would be, and from there is continues to become more comfortable.  The first test arrives in the form of Jamie Moore (Iain Armitage), Addie’s seven-year-old grandson.  He is brought to Addie’s by Gene, who has lost his job and is having trouble with his wife.  In order to attempt to get his life back in order, he asks his mom to care for Jamie for a little while.  Gene is shocked, though, to find Louis on hand.  As we had discovered earlier, Louis had a period years ago when he had left his wife and taken up with another woman, but soon realizing his mistake and returning to his family.  Given the closeness of the community, these actions had not gone forgotten, at least not by Gene.  All the same, Addie defends her decision to spend time with Louis, and accepts Jamie into her house.  Louis believes this will put a hold on his arrangement with Addie, but she soon invites him to help her watch the kid.  It is not that Jamie is rambunctious.  The boy’s problem is that he spends too much time playing games on a phone.  Addie is not keen on this behavior, so she often sends Jamie to Louis to play with model trains or to go watch softball games.  Louis becomes a role model, and soon he is taking Addie and Jamie for a camping trip in the mountains.  Upon getting home, Gene is there to take his son back to his place in another town.  Because Addie is sad to see Jamie go, Louis comes up with an idea for getting away to a fancy hotel in Denver for a weekend.  Let us just say that it is where their relationship becomes “romantic.”  If you get to this point in the film and you are like me, you are wondering where it goes next.  The answer comes in the form of a slip and fall by Addie that requires hospitalization and, eventually, crutches.  In visiting bedside, Gene becomes indignant with Louis’ presence, asking the older man to depart.  Thought she is eventually released and they go back to sharing a bed, they are soon roused by a late call from Jamie.  Addie and Louis immediately drive to see about her grandson, who had been left home alone while Gene is out drinking.  When Addie’s son stumbles onto the premises, he is indignant not only by Louis being there, but also for long past childhood trauma.  When Gene’s father and sister died in a car accident, he felt that Addie blamed him.  Hence, the next day, Addie tells Louis that she is going to move in with Gene.  Louis is saddened by this development, and he is back to being on his own.  Instead of wallowing, he begins painting and sends Jamie the model train set the boy loved.  The package also contains a cell phone, which Addie finally uses to call Louis at the end of the film.

Given that Our Souls at Night is set in contemporary times, it is remarkable that it is not until the end that you see our main characters use cell phones.  It is not meant to depict them as being anti-technology, nor old-fashioned, necessarily.  I use that last term because I am fishing for a way to describe their relationship.  Platonic also comes to mind, though that does hold true throughout the entire movie.  What it also is not is one of which the Catholic Church would approve. Granted, there are worse things two people can do than to occupy the same bed with somebody while you sleep.  It is still a sin, nonetheless.  Further, no matter the age, two people should be married before engaging in sexual relations.  Instead of being condemnatory, what I would rather look at is what the movie says about relationships generally.  That humans should seek out others is encoded into us from the beginning, such as when Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”  Later on in the Bible, there are prescriptions for what spouses should do when the one to which they are married dies, as is the case with Addie and Louis.  They are not things we currently practice, but they show a concern for our state of loneliness.  As I said, their situation is not ideal, but it does speak to the second half of Genesis 2:18, “I will make a helper suited to him.”  Gendered language aside, that is what Addie and Louis seek out in one another, with her being the one to initiate their situation.  It is more than somebody to assist with the chores, too, though they do this for one another as well.  It is emotional as well, and spiritual for us who care about such matters.  One of my dreams is to have someone with whom I can pray, which would have been nice to see in the movie, but I digress.  We do get the emotional side of things, with him being open about the troubles he had with his late wife, and Addie discussing her struggles after the accident.  As such, I would tell you that this movie does provide some evidence of why God places such importance on marriage.

Indeed, one could make the argument that Addie and Gene in Our Souls at Night behave as a married couple in all but name.  Yet, without the ceremony, it remains a moot point from a Catholic perspective.  Because of this, the film remains imperfect.  It is a strong piece of cinema, and moving, but it celebrates certain activities I would rather not see.