As my ticket to see The Fantastic Four: First Steps was scanned, they handed me a pair of 3-D glasses.  “Rats,” I said under my breath, though I should have known better.  If you enjoy watching your films in that format, then I wish you well.  It is not my first choice.  Yet, when booking my seat, I ignored the “Real D 3-D” label, thinking (more like hoping) that the word “real” meant that it would be shown in something that approximated the gimmick.  I was wrong, but I am okay with it.  If being a practicing Catholic has taught me anything, it is that humility is important.  It is a lesson that the film’s villain, Galactus (Ralph Ineson), could learn, but if he did, there would be no movie.  Since there is one, here is my review of it.

With such a film as The Fantastic Four: First Steps, you might expect a lengthy origin story as to how the title team got their powers and earned such a moniker.  As this is movie 1,295 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), we are instead treated to an opening montage as Mister Fantastic (Pedro Pascal), their leader and head scientist; Invisible Woman (Vanessa Kirby), which is a terrible nom de guerre when you think about it; Human Torch (Joseph Quinn), and I think you could guess his abilities; and the rock person, The Thing (Ebon Moss-Bachrach), all come on Earth 828’s most popular late-night program, The Ted Gilbert (Mark Gatiss) Show.  Though they all have superhero names, the world knows them by their real identities, Dr. Reed Richards, his wife Sue Storm, her brother Johnny Storm, and Ben Grimm.  For four years now, following a cosmic accident that altered them into their current state, they have become the planet’s mightiest heroes.  In addition to protecting the populace, they have settled international disputes and established working relationships among nations.  They also have an announcement.  Prior to their latest television appearance, Sue discovered that she is pregnant.  Upon getting home, Dr. Richards sets to work trying to figure out whether their baby, a son to be named Franklin Richards (Ada Scott), will also be gifted.  It is not the only problem vexing Dr. Richards.  In addition to trying to perfect teleportation, he is dealing with a new threat.  As they gaze upon New York City from their Manhattan Headquarters, called the Baxter Building, the night sky is illuminated by fire.  It signals the coming of Shalla-Bal (Julia Garner), Galactus’ herald, but you might know her as the Silver Surfer.  She does zoom through the cosmos on a board.  She has come to Earth 828 to bring tidings of their coming doom.  In one year’s time, the devourer of worlds, Galactus, will come for theirs, and there is nothing they can do to stop this from happening.  Immediately, Dr. Richards and the rest start preparing for a journey into space to find Galactus, using the Silver Surfer’s energy signature to locate the coming foe.  They launch, with Sue heavily pregnant, traveling at the speed of light to make it to another planet just as Galactus is finishing consuming it.  Traveling deeper into his mega-structure, they are met by the Silver Surfer, who tells them they should not have come.  Nonetheless, she takes them to meet Galactus, who notes Sue’s delicate condition.  He also senses that the child growing in her will be powerful, so much so that he foresees Franklin one day taking over for him as the destroyer of worlds.  Franklin’s parents, along with Ben and Johnny, are not going to let that happen, so they make a run for it.  In the middle of their escape, Sue goes into labor, making them at least person down as Ben pilots the ship and Johnny tries to keep the Silver Surfer at bay.  Eventually, they manage to momentarily trap Shalla-Bal in a black hole and our heroes limp back to Earth 828.  Upon returning, Dr. Richards does not give a hopeful report of their chances against Galactus.  Further, he is honest with them about the deal they had been given, the option to trade Franklin for their planet’s security.  A backlash mounts against the Fantastic Four with people wanting them to give up their baby.  Even Dr. Richards considers the logicality of it for a moment, to Sue’s horror, prompting her to deliver an impassioned speech about how she will not give up Franklin or on defending their world.  Her words quell the growing opposition and give Dr. Richards the inspiration for a solution to their dilemma.  Instead of fighting, they will pool global resources to build a network of machines that will allow them to teleport the entire planet to a distant part of the universe.  The device is ready just as Galactus is passing Mars.  However, before it can be used, the Silver Surfer travels across the Earth 828’s surface, destroying all the towers that would have affected the transport.  The one in Time’s Square is saved by Johnny, who had been analyzing Shalla-Bal’s language and matching it to other cosmic transmissions Dr. Richards has recorded.  Doing so led him to conclude that they have been a message destined for Shalla-Bal, thanking her for making a similar trade to the one proposed for Franklin, which is how she came to work for Galactus.  It is enough to stay her hand, and giving the Fantastic Four one last machine.  The plan is to use Franklin to lure down Galactus from his ship and then turn the dials to send the giant bad guy where they had intended to put the planet.  It almost goes exactly as hoped until Galactus figures out the ruse and takes the baby anyway.  Never mess with a mother because Sue uses every ounce of her powers to push Galactus into the worm hole, with Dr. Richards saving his child from the massive villain’s grip.  He also takes the Silver Surfer with him, who turns against her master and ensures his exit.  The toll the effort takes on Sue kills her, but she is brought back to life by a distraught Franklin.  We conclude with the child about to be revealed on The Ted Gilbert Show, but they have to dash off at the last moment to take care of an emergency.

Of course, as with all these MCU movies, “last moment” is relative in The Fantastic Four: First Steps.  There are the inevitable mid-credit and post-credit scenes, the first of which is an introduction to the ultimate Marvel villain, Dr. Doom (Robert Downey Jr., uncredited).  These are elements you come to expect from these films.  What I did not expect, which is why I said “Rats” on the way in (despite my oversight), was the 3-D.  Still, as I noted in the introduction, I did not hate the experience.  I am no expert on such technical aspects of the moviemaking process, but for me it enhanced the size difference between Galactus and the Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer.  There is a Biblical element to this notion.  Galactus is described in god-like terms, and is depicted as I suspect many would imagine the real God to be, proportionally speaking.  He is said to have been alive before the birth of the universe and therefore essentially immortal.  Further, he can move things with his mind, among many other incredible abilities.  In short, he can do the kinds of things we expect God to do.  There is an underlying problem to all these associations.  For starters, the size issue is silly.  Could God take on such dimensions?  Of course, but what would be the point?  Such things are the arbitrary musings of overactive minds.  God is reasonable, though still loving us beyond our capacity to reason.  In that same vein, I would argue that ascribing to God telepathy and other forms of cognition is limiting for the Creator of the Universe.  Indeed, anything we could think of regarding the Almighty is the product of our feeble brains.  God is so much more.

What is also so much more is life, and in that sense The Fantastic Four: First Steps is a pro-life movie.  It goes beyond it simply being about Dr. Richards and Sue being willing to accept new life.  Before going on, though, it should be pointed out that to send a pregnant woman into space may not be the best idea in terms of the sanctity of life.  This is not about doubting her abilities as a member of the team or enforcing some kind of stereotypical, so-called Catholic gender role. Females have vital roles to play in the Church, as they have had for centuries, and I will leave the matter there.  Instead, I question the decision because she does eventually give birth in the middle of them having to fight for their lives, which I would have thought a likely outcome given the Silver Surfer’s verbalized threat.  Rather, I would like to focus the pro-life aspect on their decision not to trade Franklin for Earth 828’s safety.  An argument might be made that Jesus laid down His one life for the sake of all humanity.  However, that was what He was sent to do.  An infant has no such mission and deserves the opportunity to be born and find his or her own way, to live a life from birth to natural death.  Had Franklin been an adult making that decision for the sake of others, that would be different.  Parents doing that for their children is different, and should never happen, in movies or in real life.  Dr. Richards, while at one point considering the so-called “scientific solution,” affirms the Catholic viewpoint when he tells his infant son that the baby will grow up to be better than him or Sue.  And therein lies the difference between Faith and science.  Catholicism is not opposed to science, but it only goes so far in explaining the human condition, which is something only God will ever truly understand.

By the way, if you did not understand why I kept referring to our planet as “Earth 828” throughout this review of The Fantastic Four: First Steps, the numbers serve two purposes.  First, it is part of the multiverse saga that has, for better and worse, been a part of the MCU for some time.  Secondly, “828” is a reference to Jack Kirby’s birthday, the creator of the eponymous team.  It is a sweet little footnote, to a sweet big movie.