Halloween is my least favorite holiday of the year.  It was fun when I was a child because what kid does not like getting free candy?  It is different as an adult.  Forgive me, but it seems to me that the day is an excuse for grownups to act in some pretty awful ways.  I am happy to hand out sweets to any trick-or-treaters that come to the house.  For this Catholic, Halloween is All Hallow’s Eve, or the day before November 1^st, All Saint’s Day.  Still, since it is the season, I thought I would watch something in the ballpark of spooky.  It will not be anything too crazy.  After all, I chose from Disney+.  Anyway, get ready for Zombie Town (2023)., which is . . . something.

The residents of Carverville (wherever that is) probably think where they live is already Zombie Town, save for something that was filmed there: director Len Carver’s (Dan Aykroyd) 1970s classic of the same name.  The town remembers it as such a big something that they named their city after him.  For whatever reason, he also decides to live there, and the local news is doing a story in front of his house commemorating his return to moviemaking after a decades’ long hiatus.  Meanwhile, high school teen Mike Broadstreet (Marlon Kazadi) might be the only one not looking forward to the premier in the theater in which he works.  He is letting his feelings be known to his best friend, Amy Maxwell (Madi Monroe), on whom he evidently has a crush despite her aloofness.  Part of her lukewarm feeling is related to his status as being not the most popular kid at school.  Still, he is trying to convince her to spend time at the theater with him that night instead of going to a party.  Before she can give an answer, he is stopped in the hall by Ms. Bonnard (Brenna Coates), who gives Mike a detention.  Once he is released, he goes to his job where him and his boss, theater owner Richard Landro (Henry Czerny), greet the normally recluse Len as the director delivers his film.  Len is acting strangely, and is insistent that there is a seat for everyone in town to fit inside.  However, his mind is changed when he sees a poster for one of his previous movies, and the image of Mezmarian (Chevy Chase), whose voice fills Len’s mind warning against the showing.  Before Len can make his wishes known, he is accidentally knocked out by one of Richard’s spooky props and is taken to the hospital.  As Mike sits through the night bored, he convinces Amy to come to the theater by taking a picture of Len’s film.  She makes her way there because she is a fan, but is about to leave when he says they cannot see it.  Of course, he changes his mind, and this is when the strange things begin to happen.  The projector behaves in a possessed fashion, sending out sparks that spread around town.  Would you be surprised if I told you that it turns everyone into zombies, save for Amy, Mike, and Officer Jenkins (Bruce McCulloch)?  Initially, Amy and Mike think that they have just fried the projector and cell towers, apparently.  It is not until they step outside that they encounter their first zombie, who happens to be Ms. Bonnard.  Officer Jenkins shows up at the theater looking for Dean (Mikael Conde), his Carver-enthusiast son.  Instead, the cop is turned into a zombie, the result of simply staring into an unaffected person’s face for too long, I guess.  Later, this is referred to as a “soul suck,” which is pretty terrible.  No blood and guts, anyway.  Meanwhile, Len awakens in the ambulance taking him to the hospital.  As with the clip of his previous work, we see him wearing the eye of Rah amulet sported by Mezmarian, which seems to deter the walking dead.  For unexplained reasons, the object gives Len control over the zombified Richard, enlisting his help.  As for Amy and Mike, they set out on a set of misadventures around town.  She has to get over her frustrations with his fear of zombies, eventually forcing him to tell the story of why he is so afraid.  It has to do with viewing a terrifying horror film when he was younger, which scarred him for life.  In any case, it builds some trust between them.  Their journey takes them to the high school library where, after once more dodging Ms. Bonnard, Mike notices the eye of Rah on a book.  He remembers it being on the film cannister, which he believes is what prevented him and Amy from becoming zombies.  Thus, they return to the theater to retrieve the cannister, then run off to find Len.  Shortly thereafter, Len and Richard appear, but find the locale overrun.  Instead, Len tells Richard to take them to his house.  That is where Amy and Mike go as well, and they try to get Len’s assistance.  Instead, Len tells them a tale of Thomas Edison (not pictured) and lost films imbued with ancient Egyptian magic.  Right.  As a young filmmaker, Len used this magic to make his own motion pictures, but it made all the zombies real.  The only way to reverse it was to trap them on the film.  Of course, this means that he is responsible for hundreds of deaths, which he says is why he stopped.  Len mentions there might be a way to reverse things with the cannister, but Mike runs away, not wanting anything to do with a town that has always bullied him.  What changes his mind is an encounter with his mother, who somehow convinces him that there is something to love about the town.  At the same time, Amy and Len go to get a key to Len’s vault, but once it is obtained, Len ditches Amy.  She is saved by Mike, and they once more go after Len.  The climax takes place in a mausoleum, like at the beginning of the movie.  Mezmarian’s image is there, who claims Len must destroy all his work to reverse the curse.  While Len takes care of those in the tomb, Amy and Mike destroy the one back at the theater.  In doing so, he declares his love for her.  Everything goes back to normal, and they walk off hand-in-hand.

I wish I could give a hand to Zombie Town.  I do not know what to say about this movie.  How does a Catholic reviewer write anything related to faith about a film that features an ancient Egyptian curse being used to turn a town into zombies?  If there is any saving grace, it would be the fact that it is lighthearted.  Perhaps this is related to the fact that it is based on an R. L. Stine novel.  You remember him, right?  Maybe you read his books when you were a wee whippersnapper?  As silly as this film is, I would take it over almost any horror production.  As a Catholic, I typically avoid those kinds of pictures because they often feature evil triumphing over good.  The Bible says the opposite will ultimately happen.  Bad things will occur along the way, historically speaking and in our own lives, but evil does not have the last word.  Because this one has a happy ending, it automatically makes more watchable than its cinematic cousins.  That is a difficult thing for me to say.  As a cinephile, I prefer good production values and a sensible plot.  As a Catholic, I want to watch things that I feel are not detrimental to my soul.  Yes, the method by which people are made into zombies who are not already in that state is called “soul sucking.”  However, I suspect that has more to do with target audiences and poor writing.  Thus, it is a tradeoff.  I can have cheesy films this time of year and preserve my soul, or view ones that do not make me feel good about myself or humanity.

At the same time, I am not sure I would recommend Zombie Town to anyone, much less all of humanity.  The constant bickering between Amy and Mike gets old pretty fast, and I got lost in the denouement.  It is also surprising that this attracted the likes of Aykroyd, Chase, and Czerny.  Their presence does not improve anything.