Because I have watched and reviewed more than a few of these Christmas movies, I need to be careful about what I choose.  Therefore, when I finally come to a title, after several minutes of scrolling, I often have to do a search on The Legionnaire in order to find out whether it has been covered.  As such, something rang familiar about Christmas on Mistletoe Farm (2022), or it might have been wishful thinking that it had been discussed, so I looked it up.  What I found was my treatment from two years ago of White Christmas (1954).  In glancing at what I wrote, it appears that even then I was not eager to view Christmas on Mistletoe Farm.  Yet, in examining it a little closer, I felt like it could be, if nothing else, a change of pace from the usual romantic comedies.  This turned out to be correct.  It might also be the worst Christmas film I have ever seen.

We join recently widowed father, Matt Cunningham (Scott Garnham), on what looks to be the worst day of his life, but this is only the beginning of Christmas on Mistletoe Farm.  He struggles to get his five children out the door, but before he can take them to school, he is accosted by a deliveryman with a package for which he must sign.  All of it adds up to being late for work, which is not a good way to ingratiate himself with his domineering boss, Ms. Fletcher (Ashley Jensen).  She specifically says that she does not care about his offspring.  What she wants is his presentation to a big client that she has scheduled for Christmas Eve, one that could mean all of them being fired.  This is a lot of pressure, and Matt is still processing it when he sits at his desk and finally opens the package.  It turns out to be the last will and testament of his estranged father, leaving him a farm in the English countryside.  Looking at it online with Mo (Inel Tomlinson), Matt’s co-worker encourages the single dad to get away from the hustle and bustle of London to focus on developing the perfect presentation.  Matt agrees to the idea, taking the kids out of school, packing the car, and heading to the quaint village of Cobbledon.  The first person who greets them is Ms. Ashley (Kathryn Drysdale).  Matt cannot understand why anyone would block the road on a horse, but it is his initial sign that things are different in rural areas.  The same can be said for the farm house.  The electricity is out, the plumbing does not work, and random animals wandering inside.  It also comes with Beano (Scott Paige), who is . . . special. . . .  The children find him asleep in the barn and take him for an intruder, albeit a colorfully dressed one.  Before panic can set in, he loudly explains that he is the farm hand.  He says everything loudly.  It is exhausting.  For the moment, though, he provides a modicum of stability, if in his noisy manner.  They are also visited by Ms. Ashley, who turns out to be the local veterinarian, announcing that one of the goats is about to give birth to kids.  It is yet another responsibility for the overtaxed Matt.  Is it any wonder, then, that the next move for the Cunninghams is to visit the pub in the village?  Then again, this does little to calm things down as seemingly every resident is there, and they all want to know about him.  It also becomes apparent that all forty-seven residents are in on trying to lure Matt to Cobbledon.  The denizens other concern is that he is uninterested in taking part in any of the local Christmas traditions, like the “Snowdown Hoedown” that is typically hosted in his barn.  Further, volunteers begin showing up at his house to put up directions.  Matt shews them all away.  Meanwhile, the children begin going to school in the village, bringing Miss Nerris’ class (Sydney Isitt-Ager), the one teacher, up to seven.  There, they find the fun-loving approach of Miss Nerris, and the “assistance” of Beano, contributing to their love for the farm.  For Matt, in dealing with the insanity of everything happening around him and trying to keep up with his pitch, he is essentially ignoring his family.  In talking to Beano, we learn that it is the same behavior that caused division with Matt’s father.  Later, it comes to light that Matt’s mother (Carolyn Pickles), had kept letters from Matt’s father from her son out of fear of hurting Matt.  Those missives resurface, and it proves too much for Matt, who vows to sell the farm and get back to London.  Word spreads about this from Beano, of course, at the annual Christmas tree presentation, which Matt further flubs by presenting a fake tree to which all the school kids had contributed.  To stop Matt from going through with the sale, Beano arranges for the prospective buyers to have a terrible time while on the property, leaving before a deal is made.  In the middle of being enraged with Beano, Ms. Fletcher comes to check on Matt’s progress with the pitch.  That goes disastrously as well, with her firing him after picking her face out of the mud.  Because Beano is not one to give up, he locates Matt’s presentation and travels to London to give it to Ms. Fletcher.  Beano then goes to the real estate developers to get them to accept the sale.  This all takes place as Matt finally has a change of heart about the farm while chasing his escaped animals through the surrounding hills.  Once everyone is safely back, he is told that the stipulations of the will state that he cannot sell the land, voiding any potential deal.  Next, he learns that the town crier (Steven Wickham) is his alive and well father, who had set all this up as a way to reconnect.  They all come together for that “Snowdown Hoedown,” with Matt refusing Ms. Fletcher’s offer to have his job back and that he is staying in Cobbledon with Ms. Ashley.

The tacked-on relationship with Ms. Ashley demonstrates that at least part of Christmas on Mistletoe Farm is a romantic comedy.  This realization does nothing for my enjoyment of it.  In the introduction, I made the claim that this is possibly the worst Christmas movie I have seen.  My judgement is based on the near constant noise and over-the-top acting of the characters, primarily Beano.  It does a lot to obfuscate some decent Christmas messages.  Of note is when Matt looks to the sky and asks for a sign.  I have no idea about his religious beliefs because, like the rest of these films, it makes no time for Christianity.  This also typifies the majority of people today, sadly.  There are some Christians, and Catholics are no different, who show up at a church on Christmas, the other day being Easter.  As with Matt, I like to think they, too, are looking for a sign.  Otherwise, what are we doing every December 25^th?  I cannot speak for everyone who follows this biannual church policy, but I hope that subconsciously there is something going on that spurs them to want to know something about Jesus.  At the same time, Matt is not looking for that kind of sign.  He is speaking to his deceased wife, wanting her to provide some kind of guidance for what he should do during this trying period.  He wants hope, which is a big part of the season, something Jesus ushered in at His birth.  The world may not acknowledge Him as a Catholic might hope, but I believe that there is something within all of us that keeps us looking to the skies or coming to church, however infrequently.

My more shortsighted hope is that I see Christmas at Mistletoe Farm a lot more infrequently, as in never again.  If it were not for the constant chaos, it might have been a little more enjoyable.  After all, it is set in England.  I love England.  As Christmas movies go, however, I would choose something else.