Sometimes, you see something on a streaming service and you just shrug your shoulders and hit play.  This was my reaction to noticing Christmas on the Alpaca Farm (2023).  In case you cannot guess what gave me pause, let me give you some hints.  First, it is not the “farm” bit.  I have seen these in plenty of Christmas movies, everything from Christmas in Connecticut (1945) to Christmas on Mistletoe Farm (2022).  Clearly, the strangeness does not come from the word “Christmas.”  That is the reason I am putting up with these repetitive films for so many weeks.  Setting aside the prepositions and definitive articles, that leaves one last part of Christmas on the Alpaca Farm. . . .  I mean, Jesus was born in a barn, right?  I suspect that, like the filmmakers, I am grasping for any kind of sanity here.

With a title like Christmas on the Alpaca Farm, you might expect the insanity to begin with the title animals.  Instead, we start with fashion designer Jess Hilliard (Kristen Comerford).  She works in New York City for industry stalwart Gwen Sutton (Rachel Crawford).  Jess is forward thinking, while Gwen relies on her experience.  Thus, when alpaca fleece provider Andrew Flannery (Matt Wells) comes to Gwen’s office to be informed that his craft level products are not going to meet demands, and to have his contract terminated, Jess is upset.  Jess wants to maintain a level of sustainability that Gwen sees as being too idealistic.  Jess tries one more pitch, saying that she will use Flannery products in order to enter into a fashion contest.  When this idea is also shot down, she quits.  She is at home contemplating about what transpired when her best friend, Dina (Diana Diaz), arrives to comfort Jess.  With this kind of support, Jess announces that she is going to forego the planned Christmas in Rome with her family and instead go to Flannery’s alpaca farm to propose that they partner to produce a number of Christmas sweaters over the next six weeks.  Upon getting to the farm, Andrew wants nothing to do with the plan.  He is bitter over the broken promises of Gwen and a host of other people who have let him down in the fashion industry.  Further, the broken contract meant that he had to lay off hands before Christmas, and he is now going to have to sell the property that has been in his family for generations.  Jess is simply another one in a long line of people who betray him, and this is all without mentioning his deceased wife.  With that, Jess leaves, but heads through the nearby village on the way out.  Walking along the Main Street, she notices a sweater in a shop window made with fleece from Flannery’s alpacas.  Stepping inside, she meets Christine Flannery (Samantha Espie), Andrew’s sister.  As they converse, Jess explains what she is hoping to get Andrew to do, and Christine agrees to help.  Their strategy is to decorate the front of Andrew’s house for the season, thus showing that Jess is trustworthy and, perhaps most importantly, useful on the farm.  With some further encouragement from Andrew’s daughter, Georgia Flannery (Ai Barrett), who takes an instant liking to Jess, Andrew agrees to let the fashion designer stay in the guest house provided she can pitch in with the chores.  Once Jess proves her utility, then Andrew will agree to the deal that, if Jess wins the contest, will mean half of the winnings and guaranteed work for the foreseeable future.  He has one condition: that the materials that go into making the garments come entirely from sustainable sources like his alpacas.  She is amenable and they set to work.  Look, I am sure you know where this is going, so let us skim through the pleasantries.  She is awkward about handling the livestock and believes she knows more about material dying than she does in reality, but she has a sticktoitiveness that impresses him.  She also grows close with Georgia, which helps mend some of the hurt caused by Andrew’s wife’s passing.  The inevitable bonds grow, but we cannot have that first kiss until the final moment, so let us try to get to that as quickly as possible.  Inevitably, Jess wins the coveted prize.  However, in speaking with Beverly Clemington (Thom Zimerle), the person who not only awards the prize but will ensure Jess’ designs get into stores around the world, he mentions that they will have to subsidize Flannery’s fleece with non-organic materials in order to meet demand.  Jess tries to lightly break the news to Andrew, but as in the beginning, he feels betrayed.  She returns to New York for her upcoming show, though it is evident that she is missing him.  It takes a peptalk from Christine, and Georgia being angry, for Andrew to realize the feeling is mutual.  Taking Georgia with him, Andrew travels to New York City and is there in time to see the models on the runway.  Afterwards, Jess comes forward and announces that they will be making a smaller number of the sweaters in order to keep to the goal of sustainability.  We close with a quiet Christmas Day back on the Flannery farm, with Jess joining them for what is sure to be the first of many more holidays.

The use of the word “quiet” at the end of my synopsis of Christmas on the Alpaca Farm was intentional.  If you have been keeping up with the Advent Challenge on the Hallow app, then you may have noticed that the theme for the season has been quiet.  I bring this up not because the film cares a whit about how a Christian might approach this concept, or how it might apply to the reverent silence into which we are called at the birth of Jesus.  Instead, I thought of this in the context of the hardworking Jess’ views on the idea of love.  To her thinking, it is work first, relationships second.  Additionally, this is nothing new with these films.  Nearly every one of the female leads in these films is a career woman, and there is nothing wrong with this fact.  In case nobody has read any of my previous reviews where I deal with this subject, the Church fully supports a woman’s choice to work regardless of her marital status.  What She asks is that we discern God’s will in everything, which leads me back to quiet and silence.  It is harder to listen to God’s call in the midst of busy-ness, which is why getting away to a farm is helpful.  It is no accident that Jess’ best designs come when she is able to step away from the bustle of the city.  This is something Catholics have been doing for centuries.  For hundreds of years, monks and nuns, and in extreme cases solitary hermits, have been retreating from society in order to more purposefully attempt to hear God’s quiet voice reaching out in the wilderness.

It is also true that Christmas on the Alpaca Farm is a wild film.  Okay, it is only “wild” because of the alpacas, although all they do is chew hay and stare awkwardly at the camera as only they can.  Otherwise, you have seen this movie and can therefore avoid it.