Friends are great . . . except when you tell them you will review a movie they recommend.  The hope is that they will give you an enjoyable title, probably one they have seen and liked.  Then there are those “buddies” who take advantage of your solicitude and request that you watch something they know will feel like torture.  As you read what I have to say about A Very Jonas Christmas Movie, it will become apparent into which of these categories it fits.  In the meantime, I will try my best to be charitable as a Chirstian should be.

You would think a movie called A Very Jonas Christmas Movie should start with the famous trio of singing brothers.  Instead, the first person we meet is Will Ferrell (as himself).  He is in London with his family, and they are about to see the Jonas Brothers give their Christmas concert.  After said show, the individual brothers are eager to get home for the holidays and back to their lives.  The person tasked with making these arrangements is their road manager, Brad (Randall Park).  The earliest he can get them back across the Atlantic is the following morning, unless they are willing to use a travel agent.  They insist that they are grown men capable of handling their affairs.  As such the only thing left to do is figure out what they are going to do with the time they have remaining in England.  The only unmarried brother, Joe Jonas (as himself), favors spending the night on the town.  The others decline, wanting to FaceTime with their families in their hotel rooms.  While drinking at a pub, Joe strikes up a conversation with Santa (Jesse Tyler Ferguson), though he does not admit to being the mythical gift giver.  Instead, he listens as the musician relates how much he cares about his siblings, but that there are some frustrations.  There is the most famous one, Nick Jonas (as himself), who is controlling; the eldest, Kevin Jonas (as himself), who is not a lot of fun for his own reasons; and, finally, there is Joe’s playboy image making him feel lonely.  Inwardly, Santa believes that what the three need is to reconnect with one another.  To do so, Santa casts a spell (speaking of which: huh?!) that blows up their private tour plane.  This forces them to turn to Cassidy (Billie Lourd), the insane travel agent Brad had recommended.  After she finishes ranting about her ex-boyfriend, she books them a train to Paris, France, where they are supposed to catch a flight.  Of course, because it is this movie, they must get to the station via the most bonkers way possible.  Next comes one of many musical interludes (the film is a musical) before they make it on their conveyance.  That Christmas magic intervenes once again as the locomotive turns out to be heading to Amsterdam in the Netherlands.  Before their arrival, Joe happens to run into an old friend from the days before he and his brothers were famous, a girl on whom he has long had a crush named Lucy (Chloe Bennet).  It is evident there is still something there, but their interaction is brief and Kevin and Nick mock what Joe has to say about it.  Their situation is not approved once they get to their hotel room with its one bed and no lock on the door.  As before, Joe goes out, once again finding Lucy by chance.  This time, she manages to convince him to him to hang out, and they end up jumping into one of Amsterdam’s canals in their underwear, proceeded by a trip to the dry cleaners.  The significant looks between them continue, with her mentioning that she will be in New York for Christmas, as will he.  Yet, without responding to the obvious invitation, Joe returns to the hotel.  As he had been out, Nick had been trying in vain to get them on an America-bound flight.  In desperation, they turn to Cassidy, who suddenly remembers that her ex-boyfriend is a pilot with access to a private jet.  The problem is that pilot and plane are in Germany, which means another cross-Europe trek.  Figuring the safer option would be to drive, they rent a car, but it breaks down with some assistance from Santa’s magic dust.  Luckily, Jolly Ol’ St. Nick is passing by with a load of Christmas trees and gives them a lift.  It is Nick who is chosen to ride in the cab, and he discusses how he had decided, with the permission of the other two, to forego extending their tour another six months.  Saying it out loud makes him realize how selfish he had been, and he asks that they stop so he can ride in back with his brothers.  They make it to the airport and take off, but the pilot, Gene (KJ Alpa), turns out to be a narcissist who is more concerned about taking pictures of himself to make Cassidy jealous than being at the controls.  Though they manage to survive the resulting crash, thanks to some more Santa magic, they are soon surrounded by wolves.  Kevin takes this moment to tell the others that he wants songs with his own, solo vocals.  Nick realizes that the wild animals are a symbol for their problems, so they all apologize for their faults and they are made safe.  The howls are replaced by the yips of a sled team led by Brad, who finds them in the woods and gets the brothers back to civilization.  At Nick’s request, they all gather at Kevin’s house for Christmas.  They also arrange for Chloe to come, who surprises Joe with a knock at the door.

That door at the end of A Very Jonas Christmas Movie might not have belonged to Kevin.  Frankly, I was just happy for the film to be over and forgot to note this last detail.  Honestly, I could not tell you the name of a single Jonas Brother’s song without using Google, and the movie is a musical to boot.  This is not a recipe for a good time for this reviewer.  If there is any credit to be given to it, it is that it is only an hour and twenty minutes in length, and the brothers seem to enjoy making fun of one another.  Nonetheless, I do not know what direction to take this section of my review in terms of a Catholic analysis.  In talking about other movies, I have already railed against Santa and his supposed magic.  Thus, in addition to having all the negative qualities already mentioned, it has a Santa with godlike powers.  I do not wish to call this blasphemy per se because this accusation could be leveled at nearly every Christmas movie.  Nor do I want to take such matters lightly.  In the end, it is just part and parcel of the rest of the ridiculousness of the movie.  Yet, anything positive I could say about it is as clichéd as the rest.  I am happy that the Jonas brothers got make it home for Christmas and learned some good lessons along the way.  Family is important this time of year, and that sentiment has a Scriptural basis.  And still, this is nothing new.  The only thing this theme does is make the movie less inoffensive.

Even so, saying that A Very Jonas Christmas Movie is inoffensive is also not original.  Though I cannot say this with any certainty, I believe the raison d’etre for this film is simple name recognition.  I do not recognize any of it, so I say pass.