While on my yearly Christmas movie kick, choosing a title was easier.  At first, it is a simple matter of picking whatever film I have not already reviewed.  After a few of these, you remember how most of them are romantic comedies with a Yuletide backdrop.  This makes one more careful with the selections, but ultimately they are going to be about the holiday.  Now that the season is over and my options have widened, I caught myself talking several minutes of scrolling through menus to find something.  When the decision is less clear, my fall back will always be history.  That is how I got to the nearly three-hour slog that is The Battle of the Bulge (1965).  An amazing feature of this supposed classic is the disclaimer before the end credits in which the filmmakers admit to essentially making up large portions of the story.  Between that and many scenes depicting anything but the wintry landscape for which the momentous occasion was known, made this a difficult watch.  Not even the presence of nuns in one scene could cheer me.

Still, Lieutenant Colonel Daniel Kiley (Henry Fonda) seems cheery enough as he flies over a relatively snowless Belgium in December at the beginning of The Battle of the Bulge.  He is in a small reconnaissance plane, and he has the pilot go in low over a lone German staff car.  It is occupied by Colonel Martin Hessler (Robert Shaw), one of Germany’s top tank commanders.  He has come from the Russian front to be a part of a secret plan on the part of the Nazi high command to break through the Allied lines and push to the English Channel.  He is told of this scheme by General Kohler (Werner Peters).  As Colonel Hessler relates his misgivings about the attack, General Kohler talks of new tanks and wonder weapons that will help ensure ultimate victory.  That is not all.  The Germans have also gathered a group of Americans fighting for the Third Reich, dressed them in American uniforms, and intend to parachute them behind Allied lines to wreak havoc.  All these preparations have the colonel confident of success.  Lieutenant Colonel Kiley is confident that the Germans will be attacking soon, but his warnings go unheeded by the American officer in charge of this sector of the line, Major General Grey (Robert Ryan).  Aided by the council of his executive officer, Colonel Pritchard (Dana Andrews), they dismiss the information gathered by Lieutenant Colonel Kiley.  Persisting in his desire to prove his hunch correct, Lieutenant Colonel Kiley heads to a position on the front line commanded by Major Wolenski (Charles Bronson).  From there, Lieutenant Colonel Kiley asks for a patrol to be sent out to take prisoners, one he accompanies.  However, upon returning from the raid, Colonel Pritchard is there waiting.  In looking at the captured Germans, Colonel Pritchard concludes that their appearance matches the narrative they have been constructing of a beaten Third Reich army that poses no threat.  He also threatens to have Lieutenant Colonel Kiley returned to the United States for the duration of the war.  Not long thereafter, the Germans make their initial assault, spearheaded by Colonel Hessler.  It is Major Wolenski’s men that attempt the initial resistance, but they are shortly overrun by the powerful German tanks.  In the confusion of the hasty retreat, some of the American soldiers get separated from the main body.  This includes Lieutenant Weaver (James MacArthur) and Sergeant Duquesne (George Montgomery).  Eventually, they end up being taken prisoner.  They are part of a group that is led to a secluded spot where the majority are shot, Sergeant Duquesne among them, but Lieutenant Wear gets away.  Speaking of getting away from things, or more accurately, with things, the disguised American soldiers start their sabotage work.  Of early significance is the changing around of the signs for the towns, one of which being the one where Major General Grey has his headquarters.  In the growing confusion, the general and Colonel Pritchard finally acknowledge what is happening.  However, this is too late to blow up the bridge the Germans are planning on using to cross a key river and continue their advance.  It is Lieutenant Colonel Kiley, of course, who figures out the identity of the troops stationed at the crossing.  Unfortunately, the realization is not enough and the battle continues.  However, in observing the German movements, Lieutenant Colonel Kiley notices that the enemy is traveling with empty gas barrels.  To Major General Grey, this is evidenced of the Wehrmacht’s desperate need for fuel.  While true, on their side it is what motivates them to move quickly.  As such, when Colonel Hessler’s column gets to the town in which Major General Grey is headquartered, General Kohler is furious that the junior officer stops to attack.  In Colonel Hessler’s thinking, to win here would further break the American morale.  He has underestimated the American resolve.  Major General Grey’s troops bravely hold the Germans long enough for the main body to retreat to a more defensible position.  Once he has made it through the town, Colonel Hessler is eager to press forward, being only a few kilometers from the American fuel depot.  Initially, the thought had been to blow up the gasoline instead of letting it fall to the Germans.  Instead, at Lieutenant Weaver’s suggestion, they roll the drums of petrol down the hill and light the powerful German tanks on fire.  Simple, no?

Actually, my synopsis of The Battle of the Bulge is too simple, and it is a problem with which the filmmakers had to contend.  The real battle took place of the course of two months and involved more equipment and men than could be respectably shown in a feature-length film.  Nonetheless, some greater care for the historical record could have been taken without disrupting the narrative.  What I have greater care for is what sort of Catholic analysis I can glean from watching this longer-than-necessary movie.  As I mentioned in the introduction, I was briefly cheered by the inclusion of the nuns, who try to save towns people from being murdered by the German army when they take the town in which Major General Grey had been headquartered.  It is a brief scene, though, and does not give me much more to discuss, as much as it warms my heart to see their love for their fellow man.  In a slightly similar desire to care for their fellow man is Conrad (Hans Christian Blech), Colonel Hessler’s servant.  The two are old comrades, but the war is taking a toll of Conrad.  What the wily veteran needs is some self-care.  This is something Jesus did for himself from time-to-time, such as in Luke 6:12, when he goes up to the top of the mountain to pray on His own.  He comes back in time to walk on the water, calling Peter to do the same.  I cannot claim the rest reenergized Jesus as we would conceive of it today.  It could not have hurt, but I doubt it was something His Divine body truly needed.  Being the son of God that He is, He could tap into that power whenever needed.  Even so, He took on our meek and lowly form in order to provide us an example.  For Conrad, this means doing the difficult thing of leaving Colonel Hessler to fight as a regular foot soldier.  This decision had been triggered by Colonel Hessler informing Conrad that an end to the war is not likely to be in sight for a while.  Painting a picture of endless conflict, Conrad opts for the regular infantry.  I do not see this as suicide, something against which the Church also preaches.  Instead, I feel like it is an attempt to empathize with his sons and their potential plights in the same positions.  Empathy is a further Chrisian trait.

Again, it would be better if The Battle of the Bulge had more historically accurate takes.  As it is, I cannot see this movie being worth anyone’s time.  Hooray for their being no sexually explicit content.  It is just pretty long.