Not all Disney films are cynical cash grabs.  Such a caveat should be used whenever talking about Mouse material.  It is not acting in Christian charity to make these kinds of charges, but take a look through the Disney+ catalog.  There are so many titles, and I challenge anyone to say that they have seen them all.  I have viewed quite a number of them, and it strikes me that the executives at Lake Buena Vista try to find whatever they believe will appeal to the widest possible audience to make the maximum amount of money.  Sometimes, this can work well, other times it is a disaster.  I am not sure where Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bady Day (2014) falls on that spectrum, which means it is probably somewhere in the middle.  There are plenty of cringey moments, yet an inexplicably all-star cast.  Hence, bear with me as I work my way through this miasma.

It looks as if the Cooper’s minivan has been through a miasma of destruction at the beginning of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  As the family pulls into their driveway, the six occupants all have the thousand-yard stare of people who have seen some things.  Then they open their front door to a roar.  How they get into this predicament is the subject of the rest of the film.  It actually begins the previous day, and judging by Alexander Cooper’s (Ed Oxenbould) life, the last word in the title should be plural.  He is the third child of Ben (Steve Carell) and Kelly Cooper (Jennifer Garner).  Between his older brother, Anthony Cooper’s (Dylan Minnette), preparations for a driving test and prom, and older sister, Emily Cooper’s (Kerris Dorsey), upcoming play, Alexander believes he will be forgotten.  This is without mentioning the toddler younger brother, Trevor Cooper (Zoey & Elise Vargas).  Alexander’s fears stem from the fact that it is his birthday tomorrow, and he believes nobody will show up.  These feelings are exacerbated when he learns that the most popular boy at his school, Phillip Parker (Lincoln Melcher), is having his own birthday bash on the same day, even though his date is the following week.  While getting a ride to school, Alexander has his picture taken by one of his classmates, who puts his head on a number of embarrassing bodies and spreads the images to all their peers.  He must put up with the teasing, but that is not the only faux pas.  While in science class, he accidentally lights on fire Becky Gibson’s (Sidney Fullmer) notebook, a girl on whom Alexander has a crush.  Once he is home, he tries to get his parents to call off the celebration, saying nobody will come, but they brush away his concerns.  Late that night, he makes a birthday wish at midnight that everyone else in his family might experience what it is like to go through the kind of day he usually has.  This all begins in the morning when everyone is late getting out of bed.  Now, this movie is barely feature-length, but there is a lot happening.  Hence, instead of jumping around as the story does, I am going to go through each family member and explain their trials.  With Kelly, with an inoperable car, she is late to work for her job at a publishing company.  Today is a big day because she is having Dick van Dyke (as himself) read their new children’s book.  There is a further problem in that there is a misprint, with “jump” being replaced by “dump.”  Everyone is shocked when the legendary actor orates the wrong words, leading to her almost being fired.  Yet, by the end of the night, we learn that the incident went viral, leading to a boost in sales and getting her a promotion.  Secondly, the unemployed Ben has to take Trevor with him to a job interview.  It seems to be going well, but Trevor eats a green marker and his face is covered in ink.  Thinking he has blown his chances, Ben is surprised when the managers of the video game company ask him to come to dinner with them for a second interview.  It is at a hibachi restaurant, and he contrives to set his sleeves on fire.  Nonetheless, they are impressed by him and offer him the job.  Next is Anthony.  He had been hoping to take his girlfriend, Celia Rodriguez (Bella Thorne), to the dance in the car after completing his driver’s test.  However, in addition to being suspended from school for inadvertently destroying the trophy cabinets, he fails the examination.  In a blue tuxedo that he had to get because the one he ordered did not come on, their date has to be chauffeured in the car that he destroyed during the test.  He is charmed, though, by his family at the same hibachi restaurant and decides to stay with them instead of going with Celia.  This leaves Emily, who is obsessed with filling the role of Peter Pan in her school’s play.  Unfortunately, she has come down with a cold.  Her solution for the malady is to down a bottle of cough syrup.  This makes her loopy, causing her to forget her lines and make a mess of the stage.  What saves her is the entire family rallying around her.  Through all this, Alexander is mostly just a passenger, suggesting that the others stop whatever they are attempting and predicting dour outcomes.  However, he had learned early that Phillip’s party had been canceled due to chicken pox.  He is also elated when his parents have planned an Australian themed soiree for him, complete with crocodiles and kangaroos.  Better yet, all his classmates can come, including Becky, making it the best night ever.

With a title like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, you might not expect it to end with the best night ever.  That there would be such a contrast here is indicative of how broken we are as people, even if the movie is a bit ridiculous.  God did not create us in this manner.  It is our experiences that break us.  If this sounds hard, I would point out Alexander’s attitude throughout most of his ordeal.  Before continuing, please know that I do not wish to demean what he is going through emotionally.  Adults are too quick to dismiss their children’s feelings on events, saying that they do not understand them because of their age.  Jesus asks that you do not do this, and He specifically says that we need to have the heart of a child.  That may sound easier said than done, and I cannot argue.  There is no one size fits all approach to Faith, and that is how it should be.  However, there is some wisdom in not under reacting to what our young ones are telling us.  What Alexander lacks is trust in God.  To reach that child-like status, all we need is to love God through all our tribulations.  Luckily, the film has a close facsimile of God’s grace in the form of Ben.  He is eternally optimistic, and it is him that assuages the kids’ fears to let them know that everything is going to be okay.  This is something we know is assured with God when you are in relationship with Him.  Ultimately, we know that He wins, and will be with those who follow Him for eternity.  The comparison with Ben potentially falls apart when we see him kicking garbage cans in frustration over his interview performance.  Then again, even Jesus turned over the money changer tables in the temple.  In other words, everyone has a bad day.

If you are having a bad day, then I would not suggest watching Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  It does have a nice ending, but it is just a little too hokey in the middle.