By the end of License to Wed (2007), I was saying out loud, “No, no, no. . . .”  It is a film I recall seeing in the theater at some point, partially because I have long been a fan of Robin Williams’ comedy.  Here, he plays Reverend Frank Littleton, a Catholic priest of all characters.  Why they did not refer to him as Father Littleton, or Father Frank as I shall henceforth, is beyond me.  At any rate, these last couple of sentences should be a clue as to why I would rewatch what is a pretty bad film despite a solid cast.  Like most Hollywood productions, the movie gets most aspects of Catholicism wrong, but not all of them.  The majority of the time, Church practice is seemingly a hinderance to whatever story is being told.  In the end, though, it is the story, or rather how it is told, which makes it bad, but you be the judge by the end.

Before Sadie Jones (Mandy Moore) and Ben Murphy (John Krasinski) have a License to Wed, the manner of their meeting is not bad.  If anything, their chance encounter in a Starbuck’s could probably be compared any number of other couples.  As we watch them take their first steps, their budding relationship is narrated by Father Frank, including the part where they move in with one another, which was the first Catholic no-no.  The narration continues until they get to Mr. (Peter Strauss) and Mrs. Jones’ (Roxanne Hart) 30^th wedding anniversary celebration when Ben decides this is the right time to propose marriage to Sadie.  Her parents happily, if with a little playful ribbing, give way to the newly engaged.  As everyone is congratulating them, there is one person with whom Ben is told that he and Sadie must confer: Father Frank.  He has ministered to their family for thirty years, and seeing the eagerness on Sadie’s face, Ben accedes.  The next day, they visit him at his parish, St. Augustine’s (solid choice for a church name), where they find him working with the youth on the Ten Commandments.  I can appreciate that bit as a former youth minister.  As the couple talk with the priest, they are told that they must complete his marriage preparation course before he can co-sign any wedding, let alone officiate.  I will talk more about this later.  Further, the only date he has open for a ceremony is two years from now.  This is worrisome, but upon further review, he notices an opening in three weeks.  Without any consultation with Ben, Sadie accepts.  I do not think I need to go through every step of this process, mainly because that would get as tedious as this supposed comedy.  Instead, I will provide an overview.  Actually, the course gets started right away, with Father Frank making the lovebirds agree to not have sex until after they are married.  I suppose that is something?  As a stipulation like that suggests, Father Frank is going to be a major intrusion in their lives for the foreseeable future.  Indeed, to better ensure that one rule is followed, Father Frank has his young assistant, Cameron (Josh Flitter), bug Ben and Sadie’s apartment, butting in whenever any heavy petting commences.  By doing this, Father Frank can also monitor Ben’s progress in writing his own vows, which is not the most Catholic of spiritual exercises, but again, that is Hollywood for you.  Sadie completes hers within a day of being given the assignment, but he continues to procrastinate.  Another assignment is given them after Father Frank takes them to the maternity ward in order to underscore the challenges of childbirth.  To bring this point home, he also provides them with a set of robotic twins to take care of while they continue their other marriage preparations.  Of course, Father Frank has control of the intensity of these animatronic infants, dialing up the chaos at random intervals.  The exercise is meant to get them to confront not only the intricacies of raising a family, but to obtain a better feel of how much they can handle in terms of the number of kids to have.  Speaking of families, Father Frank also inserts himself into the dynamics of Ben’s future in-laws.  At a party, Father Frank encourages them all to be open and honest about how they feel about one another.  Ben takes this too far, saying a number of personal things that border on insulting.  Because it makes him look bad, he begins to think that Father Frank does not want Ben and Sadie to be married.  Following the absolutely terrible advice of his soon-to-be best man, Joel Howard (DeRay Davis), Ben switches to finding information to make Father Frank seem less holy.  This involves digging through county records on the priest, and undercovering a long-forgotten marriage certificate with Father Frank’s name on it.  Following a disastrous outing wherein Ben is told to guide a blindfolded Sadie as she drives through traffic, they end up at the wedding rehearsal.  By this point, things are tense between the couple, which is brought to the breaking point when Ben is still unable to produce his vows.  Sadie’s angry outburst is met by her fiancé accusing Father Frank of an illicit marriage.  To Father Frank’s credit, he admits to the affair, while adding that he had done so to save a woman from deportation and possible death.  In reality, that would disqualify a man from the priesthood, but kudos for the brave act and honesty.  Ben and Sadie leave, and their wedding appears off.  Father Frank visits Sadie at her flower shop and encourages her to take the honeymoon trip on her own, which she does but brings her family . . . for some reason?  Later that night, Ben realizes what an idiot he has been and heads to their planned destination, Jamaica.  This had seemingly been Father Frank’s plan all along, as he travels there and is on hand to marry the recalcitrant couple.

The reason why I was saying “No, no, no. . . .” as Ben and Sadie are married at the end of License to Wed is because the wedding is taking place outside just off the beach.  If you ever are walking along the shore and come across nuptials, know that it is not a Catholic ceremony.  The Church requires that a Sacramental wedding be held in a church before God, His Assembly, and the Eucharist.  There should be a Mass, which is the highest form of worship the Church offers.  While a Mass is possible beyond church walls, there is no Tabernacle, for example.  Further, weddings outdoors have pagan connotations that Catholicism wishes to avoid.  While this all might seem like semantics, the fact that the film features a supposedly Catholic priest taking part in such an event says all one needs to know about how much the people behind the camera consulted The Catechism of the Catholic Church.  In other words, not at all.  This is bigger evidence of this oversight than other part of the story.  While it is problematic that Father Frank is less against Ben and Sadie living together than is appropriate, Father Frank would not be the first priest to overlook this aspect of a relationship.  I know of couples who have done this and still received a Sacramental wedding.  It is not Church teaching that couples do this, but usually this is not grounds for denying marriage.  What is less sticky is Father Frank’s openness about other parts of being married, like sex.  Indeed, all these topics are covered in the actual, quite real wedding preparation course the Church offers prospective husbands and wives called Pre-Cana.  If you are a practicing Catholic hoping to be officially wedded by the Church, you are required to complete this course.  It has practically none of what you see in the movie because this is meant to be a comedy, whereas Pre-Cana is real life.

Hence, License to Wed is so unrealistic as to be absurd.  I like the performances, particularly of Williams.  While almost everything he does as Father Frank is incorrect, he does make for, generally speaking, a believable and sincere priest.  Still, this is not a reason to watch this movie.