My new second favorite film, The Map of Tiny Perfect Things (2021), featured today’s movie, Time Bandits (1981).  It makes some sense as they deal with the flow of time, or lack thereof in the case of The Map of Tiny Perfect Things.  Because Time Bandits was written by two Monty Python alums, Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin, I thought I should finally check it out.  I knew it was Monty Python adjacent before watching it.  I have always enjoyed their comedy, even if, once I began practicing my Faith, I get a little annoyed with how they treat God with a lack of seriousness.  This one is no different, even if it is not totally a Python work, but it is arguably even sillier than their old comedy variety show.  I think this will all become apparent as I describe it to you.

It is not entirely apparent what is going on at the beginning of Time Bandits.  A family of three, mom Diane (Sheila Fearn), dad Trevor (David Daker), and son Kevin (Craig Warnock), are sitting in their non-descript English home watching television one night.  While the parents dream of obtaining the state-of-the-art kitchen being advertised, Kevin is listing facts about Ancient Greek warriors.  Before too long, Trevor orders his son to bed, with the additional instructions of no light or noise.  This is what the boy is trying to accomplish when, all of the sudden, a knight on horseback bursts through his armoire, hacks down the ceiling light, and gallops into a forest that has appeared in place of the wall.  As he looks around in bewilderment, Trevor sticks his head in the room to angrily warn his son, just as quickly Kevin’s room is back to normal.  The next day, Kevin is asking to go to bed before dinner is over, but is told that he must first eat.  Before laying down, he secures a flashlight (or torch, since this is England) and a Polaroid camera.  However, nothing happens until he begins to fall asleep.  Upon closing his eyes, that same detached closet begins to rattle and from it emerges a band of little people.  They will be introduced as needed, but for now they make it known they have pilfered a map and plan to use it to steal valuables.  It is not clear how this will work, but in their haste to get away they push at Kevin’s wall, and it gives way.  Their effort is given a boost when a floating head, identified as the Supreme Being (Ralph Richardson), enters the room demanding the return of the map.  Even Kevin thinks the newcomer is God, so this Catholic was not crazy when I thought the same.  Instead of handing over the parchment, Kevin and his new companions push harder against the wall and fall into an abyss.  They land in 1796 in Italy at the Battle of Castiglione, one of the early engagements of the Napoleonic Wars.  Kevin tries to run away, but the others catch him and include him in their heist.  Their target is Napoleon Bonaparte (Ian Holm), who is enjoying his latest victory by comparing his height to past conquerors.  He is amused by the group, who manage to make him laugh with an impromptu stage act, and he drunkenly replaces all his generals with Kevin and company.  In a private room, Napoleon passes out in a stupor and the others make off with the accumulated riches, going through another time portal their erstwhile leader, Randall (David Rappaport), locates using the map.  Their next time period they end up in is the Middle Ages, literally falling on a couple of lovers.  While the pair run away, they are taken by Robin Hood’s (John Cleese) Merry Men, along with their loot.  When interviewing the prisoners, Robin, who sounds more like a politician, thanks them for their donation to the poor.  Randall gets them to escape, and the others are weary of chasing stolen wealth.  Meanwhile, their progress is being watched by Evil (David Warner).  Since there is a kind of God here, it is safe to assume that this is a version of the devil.  Evil wants the map because he believes it will give him the power to remake creation in his own image.  To make this happen, he influences the mind of one of the eponymous little people to suggest that they go after “The Most Fabulous Object in the World” that is held in the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness.  There is some dissension over this, in particular what to do next, so Kevin takes one of the portals that soon opens and travels to Ancient Mycenae.  He arrives in time to save King Agamemnon’s (Sean Connery) life, who attempts to make Kevin his adopted son.  This is to Kevin’s liking, but he is soon kidnapped by Randall and the rest, who also swipe some ancient Mycenean treasure.  Now on the Titanic just before it sinks, Kevin is disillusioned with the adventure.  However, Randall has become obsessed with obtaining the Most Fabulous Object.  As they float in the Atlantic, they are transported by Evil to the time of legends.  Once there, they outwit an ogre and his wife, are carried on the head of a giant, and eventually come across the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness.  It had been, of course, a trap to get the map.  Now imprisoned over a bottomless pit, though they are able to break free, they are about to give up and go home until Kevin reminds them of what Evil can do with the map.  However, their first attempt at taking it back is thwarted.  Kevin and Og (Mike Edmonds), stay to distract Evil while the others gather reinforcements.  This, too, proves fruitless, and they are about to meet their end when the Supreme Being intervenes.  He makes them clean things up a bit before taking the bandits with him.  From there, Kevin awakens in his bed with his house on fire.  Though he manages to get out, his parents touch a bit of Evil that had come with him and explode.  The final moment is of the fire captain, who looks exactly like King Agamemnon, winking at Kevin as the engine drives away.

The death of Kevin’s parents at the end of Time Bandits passes without much fanfare.  Kevin looks on as the credits begin to roll and the camera pulls out from his destroyed house.  It is a meaningless conclusion that does not do much for my opinion of how Monty Python handles the topic of God.  What I can say on the positive side is that good does triumph over Evil, I guess.  I have trouble viewing the Supreme Being as good because he is rather cross in his comportment.  That contradicts the truth of a loving God, but that is how most non-believers conceive of the Almighty.  That evil exists further complicates the situation for them.  Indeed, Kevin asks the question that others like him have pondered when terrible things happen: why do we have evil.  The answer given in the film is not memorable.  I would have written it down had it been so.  The Catholic response is much more satisfactory.  Though the Supreme Being does talk about free will, the complete picture has to do with the consequences of those acts.  In the beginning, Adam and Eve did not have to worry about such things.  They had the same ability as you and me, but all they had to do was rely on God for their needs.  The serpent tricked Eve into getting Adam to break the one rule God gave them, not to eat of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  Tangentially, Scripture never identifies that fruit as an apple.  Rather, eating from the tree bears the fruit of losing paradise.  These things sound bad, but God did not make them happen.  Nonetheless, they exist so that we can make better choices and allow God’s grace to abound even further.  This is another place where the film falls apart.  I am not sure Kevin is seeing the goodness of God as he stares at the smoking ruins of his family and home.  Yet, God can use that, too.

And you could use your time better by viewing something other than Time Bandits.  It is not a bad movie, but I was a little disappointed given the minds behind the story.  Instead, watch other Monty Python movies.