Though it has yet to happen for me, since I started practicing my Catholic Faith in earnest, I knew I wanted to marry a woman of the same religion.  Over the years, there have been instances where family or friends have suggested that I loosen my restrictions, accusing me of being narrow minded.  Though it may be obvious, it is worth mentioning that these people are either not Church adherents, or are lapsed.  At the same time, I appreciate their efforts.  There have been moments of loneliness, and their interjections spoke to how much they did not like to see me sad.  Through it all, I could not imagine being with somebody who did not share that commitment.  Is my way the only way?  If you watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002), the answer would be no.  That is okay, too, and the film will tell you how this is so.

What Fatoula “Toula” Portokalos (Nia Vardalos) tells us way before she has her My Big Fat Greek Wedding is that growing up in a family of the title nationality is hard.  She is a thirty-year-old, somewhat plain looking woman who is still single.  In her culture, being unmarried at such an age practically makes her a spinster.  It is also a supposed failing on her part to not incorporate everything she learned about being a good Greek woman from her upbringing by her eccentric immigrant parents.  They are all loud and outgoing, while she quietly wilts working in the family restaurant.  She is not without ambition, however.  Seeing the archaic manner in which the business is run, she carefully asks her father, Costas “Gus” Portokalos (Michael Constantine), for permission to go to college to learn more about computers.  Gus is concerned that she will be robbed at the downtown campus, or worse, lose her heritage, but her mother, Maria Portokalos (Lainie Kazan), does the convincing.  Going to school gets Toula to begin taking more care with her appearance.  She also convinces Aunt Voula (Andrea Martin) to allow her to run the family’s travel agency.  As she is in this capacity, Ian Miller (John Corbett), walks past the window.  He notices her, and she more than recognizes him.  Earlier, he had come into the restaurant and it had been love at first sight for her, staring awkwardly at him for several minutes.  Her initial instinct is to hide, but he returns the next day to wave at her.  Eventually, he works up the courage to come inside and ask her to dinner.  Because he is not Greek, she tells her family that she is going to a pottery class instead of a date with an outsider.  Inevitably, given the title, Ian and Toula’s romance begins to blossom.  Their nightly make-outs in his car are noticed by her cousin, Nikki (Gia Carides), which means that everyone else in the family knows.  With the relationship no longer a secret, Ian comes to the Portokalos residence and speaks with an outraged Gus.  Dad is set against any kind of relationship between his daughter and Ian, but they continue seeing each other anyway.  Things begin to get more serious between Ian and Toula, starting with a visit to meet his parents.  The simplest thing to say about this supper is that it is much quieter than anything happening with the Portokalos clan.  With this out of the way, it is finally time for Ian to ask Toula to marry him.  Saying yes to that question is easy.  Getting her family on board with the nuptials is another matter.  For a while, Gus had been bringing a series of Greek men to dinner to hopefully impress Toula and steer her away from Ian.  They are all stereotypically bad, and eventually he has to accept that his daughter is being wedded to a man outside of his heritage.  With that, it is time for Ian’s parents to come over for what she hopes will be a quiet dinner that will allow the moms and dads to meet one another.  Instead, it is a massive party with the entire Portokalos extended family there on the front lawn to greet them, complete with a lamb being roasted on a spit.  Because of Gus’ lingering regret over Toula’s big day, she goes to Ian and asks that they elope.  Instead, Ian tells her that he will do everything it takes to make sure she gets the proper wedding that will hopefully ease her family’s acceptance of him.  The first step in making this happen is getting baptized in the Greek Orthodox Church.  This Catholic has one quibble about how this Sacrament is portrayed.  I may not be Orthodox, but I am willing to bet that they do not perform it in a blow-up kiddie pool.  At any rate, he does it enthusiastically, as well as putting up with the overwhelming amount of prodding that comes from the Portokalos family.  At length, the wedding day comes and there is a mad dash of people around Toula as she prepares for her vows.  There is a zit that must be concealed, bridesmaids to be dressed, the bride’s own gown to be put on, and with everyone seemingly yelling at one another.  Regardless, they manage to make it to the ceremony, where one half of the church is filled with her side, and a somewhat paltry turnout for the groom on the other.  It may be hectic, but everyone seems to be having a good time.  This includes Gus, who brings everyone to tears by giving the newlyweds a gift: a home he purchased for them.

That house, by the way, is next to the Portokalos residence, which we see in the last scene of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  It is meant to be comedic, but this Catholic likes the idea of people with such connections living close to one another.  There is an amazing Catholic family that I know, which used to live in the Tampa area, and everywhere they move in the country they seem to go as a unit.  Like the Portokalos clan, they spend as much time as possible together.  Pointedly, they pray and worship together, which is made sweeter by the fact that one of their sons became a priest.  At the same time, I get why Toula feels at times a little closed in by her family.  It is not that she despises them.  If anything, she wants to love them, but on her own terms.  Please forgive the use of that rather new age-sounding term.  To put a Catholic spin on this, she wants to follow the path that God has put in front of her, though she does not talk about it in Christian terms.  The problem is that the Portokalos bunch, particularly Gus, places loyalty to the family above everything else.  Again, not to diminish the importance of where you come from, but your parents are less significant than God.  In a sense, Gus is making an idol out of his culture, which is not a Christian thing to do.  At the same time, it is good that Ian is willing to do what is necessary to make things work for Toula.  Clearly, God has told him that his future is with her, which jives with Matthew 19:5, “. . . a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  Either way, what it most vital is that they fulfill what God asks of them.

Watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding is part of my hope to fulfill yet another well known cinematic trilogy.  I had done My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 (2023) when it came out in the theater, and here I am circling back to its origin.  I have few memories of that third installment, but you could do worse than the first one.