Movies that want to take themselves seriously try not to schedule their releases when there is a competitor involved. Sometimes this involves other reasons like the need for reshoots or world events causing them to make other plans. More often, though, it is because a movie wants to maximize its profits and another big time film, it is feared, will cut into the bottom line. Movies are expensive, and any threat to making back some of the dollars spent on them will be avoided at all costs. Why am I explaining release dates at all? Because Avengers: Endgame comes out next week and anything that might take away from people being in the theater on either side of that weekend risks your film being a dud. That is why I saw Missing Link.

I explained before that I am not the biggest fan of animated films, so there was one strike against Missing Link going into it. And as I mentioned with Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, these films tend to try to throw in adult jokes in order to give some kind of semblance of enjoyment for the sometimes desperate parents being dragged along to theaters with their children. These are usually low-brow one liners that, it is hoped, will get young and old alike laughing. No offense to those who enjoy such humor, but I find such comedy to be very not funny. So there I sat, waiting for the end.

Missing Link is the story of a Sasquatch named Susan (voiced by Zach Galifianakis) who is “found” by Sir Lionel Frost (voiced by Hugh Jackman). Susan (and yes, it is a male) then teams up with the Englishman to find his long lost cousins, the Yeti of the Himalayas. Along the way they are chased by those afraid of the change and inclusiveness that this endeavor could signal, masterminded by Lord Piggot-Dunceby (voiced by Stephen Fry).

Yawn.

Tell me, how many ten year old children care one iota about the British Empire in the nineteenth century? That subject provides a rough backdrop for Missing Link. Additionally, there was a surprising amount of gun wielding in this film, particularly for a movie tailored to kids. There were also muggings, drinking, and an impaling. There was also nothing really spectacular about the movie story-wise to really get me excited about these events. Thus I was just shocked by some of the content.

I am not sure what else to say about Missing Link. My Catholic sensibilities were not offended, but neither were they inspired. It was just . . . whatever.