One of the misconceptions about Catholicism is that it is a religion that puts women into two categories: they can be either mothers or nuns, the latter of which is sort of like being a mother anyway.  To do anything else would be considered sinful.  These are stereotypes, of course, and the core of these ideas that is true is that they are certainly roles that females can fill.  The operative word is “can,” not “must.”  What the Church cares most about, and this is the same for both sexes, is whether you are having a meaningful relationship with God.  These are also issues discussed in today’s film, I Don’t Know How She Does It (2011), without mentioning God, as usual.  The meaningful relationship in this case is between the main character, Kate Reddy (Sarah Jessica Parker), and the rest of her family.  Where the movie and the Faith intersect is in the fact that there are distractions that can do damage, and this should be kept in mind as you read what follows.

What most people have in mind to say about Kate when asked about her is I Don’t Know How She Does It.  This is the near universal way she is described by acquaintances, co-workers, and friends alike.  What triggers our story about his workaholic mother of two is her daughter’s, Emily Reddy (Emma Rayne Lyle), school bake sale.  Coming home late from one of many business trips, Kate suddenly realizes that she had promised Emily something homemade instead of store bought.  Wanting to additionally stick it to the stay-at-home moms amongst her peers, Kate tries to buy the ingredients but ends up with a pre-prepared pie that she tries to make look like a kitchen creation.  Her husband, Richard Reddy (Greg Kinnear), greets her with some exciting news about his own job and how it is going to require more of his time.  The timing is potentially bad because the high finance worker Kate is involved in a deal, but she thinks it will be passed over as usual.  However, to her delight and surprise, the next day her boss, Clark Cooper (Kelsey Grammer), announces that she will be making a pitch for her ideas to fund manager Jack Abelhammer (Pierce Brosnan).  It means adding a little more travel for Kate in the near future, and thus more juggling of her life at home.  Home comes with her and her assistant, Momo Hahn (Olivia Munn).  Just as they are about to present to Jack, Kate gets a notification from Emily’s school that there is lice.  As such, Kate is mostly failing to resist itching as she discusses a new retirement model with him.  Despite her fidgeting, he is impressed with what her thoughts and decides to work with her.  It is a huge boost to her career, but it also leads to leaving Boston two to three times a week in order to be in the New York office with Jack.  At first, she pretends like she can handle everything even though she is missing out on her children’s milestones and neglecting Richard.  At the same time, it is evident that Jack is developing feelings for her, though she is able to maintain a level of professionalism throughout their interactions.  This includes the night when they decide to go bowling, after which it is clear that he wants to take things a step beyond the purely professional.  Such is the state of things, but it is also clear that Kate is missing her family.  To make up for all the time she has been away, she agrees to go away to Richard’s parent’s place in the country for a week during Thanksgiving.  This is going smoothly until Jack manages to find the number to the house where she is at since she has not been answering her cell phone.  She receives the news that their investor needs to have their proposal in the next day, which means she has to cut their vacation short.  Richard and everyone else are not happy about her leaving, suggesting that someone else can handle the business.  Yet, such is Kate’s commitment that she goes anyway, along with Momo, back to New York to meet with the investor.  They are successful in attracting interest and Kate even gets an invitation from Jack to join them for lunch to celebrate their success.  However, afterwards as she is walking with Jack, he gets a call on his phone from Richard saying that the Reddy’s two-year-old son had to go to the hospital.  Between that and another moment when Richard had been forced to bring in a babysitter with whom they are not familiar is bringing their marriage into question for him.  Things come to a head one day at the office when Clark ducks in to tell her that she needs to be on a plane headed to Atlanta for another deal.  Moments later, she gets a call from Jack, who has come to Boston to say that their business has been successfully concluded.  It is not his only reason for being in town.  He has also come to express his feelings for her.  At that moment, it also begins to snow and it reminds her of her promise to Emily that she would make up for lost time by building a snow man with her at the next opportunity.  With that, she politely turns down Jack, tells Clark that she will have to depart the following Monday, heads to her daughter’s school, and renews her love for Richard.  A few months later and her life is still hectic, but she has a better perspective on things.

I Don’t Know How She Does It is not terribly innovative, but I can at least appreciate a film wherein the characters gain a new, better perspective on their lives.  This is true for Kate, but the same can be said for Momo.  For most of the film she behaves in a cold and professional manner, though with a hint of friendliness.  Mostly, she finds Kate’s life messy, but acknowledges the quality of her boss’ work ethic.  Mome gains a whole new respect for Kate when the former learns that she is pregnant.  Whenever the word “messy” is mentioned in a movie, particularly when it is describing someone’s life, I think of Catholic author Matthew Kelly’s book Life is Messy (2021).  If you walked into Catholic churches a couple years ago, you could have picked up a free copy of it as I did.  Though I was unable to get through it, I can tell you that it deals with a lot of the issues present in today’s entry.  The main idea is about embracing imperfection.  It is a difficult lesson to learn, for us and for Kate and Momo.  Kate wants everyone to be okay with her insane schedule, and it takes her some time to realize the damage she is doing to her family.  It takes her learning to be okay with the messiness, which can also be read as an imperfect balance, for her to make the right changes.  From a Christian perspective, what she is doing is using the talents that God gave her.  She is a driven and talented employee, but she is also a dedicated mother.  There is nothing in the Faith that says a woman cannot be both, regardless of what the broader culture will to you.  At the same time, there is nothing wrong with choosing the life of a mother, a nun, or a single woman pursuing other endeavors.  God wants to be in a relationship with us, and that should be our primary focus.  He does not want us to be separated from Him by sin, which is something against which we should always be on guard.

As usual, I am grasping for Catholic angles to movies like I Don’t Know How She Does It, which seems like it would be separate from any issue about which a Christian would care.  Yet, there is Momo’s decision to keep her pregnancy instead of terminating it, which is as Catholic a choice as any.  It is an imperfect movie, but such is our messy lives.