The previous attempt at making a film based on the popular Mattel toy line turned 1980s cartoon called He-Man (1983-1984) was also titled Masters of the Universe (1987).  By the way, untangling the origins of all this is a little tricky, and I am sure I am not doing it justice.  All I know is that this is the second movie to bear this appellation.  The most recent iteration, though, seems to be trying to return to those animated favorites of four decades ago rather than whatever was the Frank Langella/Dolph Lundgren led project.  They all involve some subjects that are a little uncomfortable for a Catholic viewer without remembering that this is all a bunch of made-up nonsense.  You will also not find me raging against whether this new version deviates from the series that I watched as a child, and have largely forgotten.  They look more similar, and that is as far as I will take that line of thinking.  You will have to read on for the rest.

What is not similar, or at least familiar, about Master of the Universe’s beginning is that we meet Prince Adam of Eternia (Artie Wilkinson-Hunt) as a ten-year-old.  I do not recall that from any of the cartoons, but whatever.  He and his best friend, Teela (Eire Farrell), are being trained by Duncan (Idris Elba), the leader of King Randor’s (James Purefoy) personal guard and who is referred to as Man-at-Arms.  King Randor thinks Prince Adam is being coddled and publicly pushes his son to be tougher.  The boy will need it because the capital city is about to being overrun by the forces of Skeletor (Jared Leto).  Who is Skeletor?  He is the villain and wants to take over Eternia.  That is literally as far as the film’s logic goes.  To further this ambition, he seeks to take possession of the Sword of Power, the weapon that has made the rightful succession of Eternia’s rulers into nearly invincible gods.  In order to keep the blade from falling into Skeletor’s boney hands, the Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) and protector of Castle Grayskull (I will try to explain this later) sends Prince Adam to the home of the kid’s mother, Queen Marlena Glenn (Charlotte Riley), which is Earth.  As Adam is beamed across the galaxy, he loses his grip on the Sword of Power, which is also supposed to be his way back to Eternia.  As such, he grows into a man (Nicholas Galitzine) working a soulless office job.  Between dealing with his roommate, Hussein (Christian Vunipola), and the passive aggressive corporate environment, Adam dreams of the heroes of his home planet and retrieving his weapon.  Actually, it is more of a nerd-like obsession, and it causes him to have crappy dates and to be reprimanded by his boss, Suzie (Sasheer Zamata).  In the middle of the human resources meeting over Adam’s apparent daydreaming, his phone buzzes with somebody claiming to have found his long lest blade.  Not caring about threats of being fired, he leaves immediately for the comic book store at which it is located.  It proves to be attached to a generic warrior statue, and he rips it out of the grip and runs off without paying.  In the morning, the police come to arrest him, which he does not resist.  He is disappointed that seemingly nothing has happened since being reunited with the Sword of Power until, as he is being transported in a squad car, he is attacked by Beast Man (voiced by Gary Martin), one of Skeletor’s henchmen.  The person who saves Adam is the grown-up Teela (Camila Mendes), and together they make their way back to Eternia.  Adam’s reception there is one of incredulity, mainly because he is unable to convince them of his lineage.  It does not help that he has alternate names for all his father’s men, and they are all . . . odd.  This Catholic will leave it at that because there is a lot of innuendo which quickly gets old.  At any rate, Adam and Teela are thrown in jail, and this is where they are when Skeletor attacks once more.  While fighting breaks out, we find that Adam and Teela share their cell with her father, who is Duncan, and a cleaning droid, Roboto (Kristen Wiig).  The automaton is actually a reprogrammed soldier, but it helps them escape by breaking through the door.  As they make their way to a ship, Adam uses the Sword of Power for the first time, transforming himself into the ultra-strong hero we know as He-Man.  We later learn this is a title he has given himself, so . . . yeah.  At any rate, the power of Grayskull grants Adam superhuman abilities, which he utilizes in their escape.  Once they are settled, Skeletor lures Adam into a trap by promising the prince’s parents in exchange for the weapon.  Adam goes because he thinks himself unbeatable now, but the struggle ends with King Randor inadvertently dying at the son’s hands.  Their follows a heartfelt exchange between them that Skeletor conveniently waits until the end of in order to bash Adam on the head and take the Sword of Power.  With all the good guys imprisoned, Skeletor attempts to use the weapon but finds it does not answer.  His right-hand woman, the witch Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie), suggests that he needs to return to Castle Grayskull.  Naturally, Adam and company escape and go after the villain.  In the ensuing struggle, the Sword of Power shatters, and Skeletor impales Adam with the remnant.  The Sorceress appears to Adam in a dying vision, suggesting that he has the power within him instead of the blade.  With this, he revives, resumes He-Man form, and separates Skeletor’s head from his body.  From there, Adam takes up the mantle of protector of Eternia and the film ends.

Actually, there are a couple of end credits scenes in Masters of the Universe that are supposed to set up future films.  Sigh.  Perhaps it is because I am no longer five-years-old, but I found the film difficult to watch.  This is not to say that it lacks heroism.  As a Catholic, this is something to which I am drawn.  Though Jesus was and is a hero of a different sort, such people need to be selfless in the pursuit of a higher calling.  I am not sure Adam has that first quality, but there is definitely something bigger than himself at stake.  Then again, I could not tell you specifically what is that threat.  As I mentioned a moment ago, the only motivation that we are given for Skeletor is that he is bad.  Bad people want to do bad things, and what could be badder than wanting to take over the universe?  This, too, is difficult to define.  In the beginning, Eternia is described as the center of the center of the universe, and Castle Grayskull as the “beating heart.”  In the simplest of story terms, we would not want a villain in control of such things, right?  This is not exactly the Catholic way of looking at Creation, but I get that this is meant to be fantasy.  Or is it comedy?  I had trouble with the constant shifts in tone, which often take away from serious moments and made me often wonder whether I was supposed to laugh or feel something genuine.  I prefer the latter of these themes, which would have fit better with the supposed threat to the cosmos posed by Skeletor.  The argument can be made that this is the point since the villain is a mustache-twirler to the nth degree.  Also, the total conquest trope is tired.  Either way, I know that God wins in the end.

If you know anything about these stories, you will also know that Masters of the Universe happy ending is a foregone conclusion.  As a film critic, I long for originality.  As a Catholic, I can take some comfort in knowing that good triumphs because that is what God has told us.  There are other uncomfortable aspects of the movie.  I did mention a specific one the synopsis with some of the crude humor.  There is some taxic masculinity throughout, too, though it is diffused somewhat by the humor.  You might expect this from a character called “He-Man,” but he does admit that it is a name he gave himself as a boy and that it is embarrassing.  Still, the point is made a couple times that when the proverbial push comes to shove, a man stands up for himself, whatever that means.  If there is anything I appreciated about the movie, it is that Adam gives Skeletor an opportunity to resolve their conflict without violence at the climactic moment.  When one has the kind of power as does He-Man, and he is a force for good, there is nothing more such a person needs to do.  This is why God is who He is, and we should be thankful that He is also the embodiment of love.  Nonetheless, it needs to be pointed out that there are other ways to fight battles.  It reminds me of a praise and worship song called “Surrounded,” though many also know it, appropriately enough, as “Fight My Battles.”  My favorite version of it is performed by UPPERROOM, and one of the early lines in it is inspired by Psalm 23:5, which reads, “You set a table before me in front of my enemies.”  The sentiment is that we show those who contend with you the love of Christ and at that point, it does not matter what they do to you.  You could die at their hands, but the victory is yours.  Such ideas are likely beyond the scope of a dumb action film like this one, but at least it mentions an alternative to fisticuffs.

I have been finding of late that I like alternative forms of cinema than ones like Masters of the Universe.  I see these kinds of films because they are in the theater and I am guessing others might want to know about them.  There is also a shred of nostalgia on my part, and if that is all you want, then you will get plenty of it.  Otherwise, you can do so much better with your movie choices.