If watching Holes (2003) has taught me anything, it is that I need to stop watching old Vines on YouTube.  I would not have thought of the movie if not for this now defunct, shortform media platform.  If you are unfamiliar with what it was, the best comparison I could give you is TikTok.  There were some fun moments amongst its offerings, but I have now seen them all far too many times.  It is time to move on to something else.  Before doing so, I decided to watch a film that was referenced in one of these clips, one that I had to Google in order to learn its source.  I now regret this decision, which is not the most Catholic of stances, but let me tell you why.

Actually, I was a little fizzy as to why anything happens in Holes.  What is clearer is that there are a group of kids digging the title features in the ground.  They do so in the middle of the Texas desert with no shade.  Hence, it is little wonder that Lewis “Barf Bag” (Zane Holtz), gives up and lets himself be bit by a rattle snake in order to get out of this labor.  No one would want to subject themselves to these conditions, particularly Stanley “Caveman” Yelnats IV (Shia LaBeouf), the next person we meet in this odd story.  The best way to describe him is to tell you about his family, which, at any rate, is given in a flashback.  His forbear, after whom he is named, Elya Yelnats (Damien Luvara), lived in Latvia and brought a “curse” upon the family.  This is according to young Stanley’s grandfather, Stanley Yelnats Jr. (Nathan Davis).  As the story goes, Elya had wanted the hand of a woman in his village in marriage.  However, he did not have the necessary pig as a dowry.  Seeking help, he goes to Madame Zeroni (Eartha Kitt), a gypsy-like seer who gives Elya the swine along with instructions.  He is to take the animal to a stream, sing to it while it drinks and grows, and then promise to take her up the mountain to the same rivulet.  However, when he makes his proposal and is denied, he emigrates to America and forgets his obligation.  Because of the hex, the Yelnats family has had a difficult go of it since their arrival in the United States.  Stanley IV’s dad, Stanley Yelnats III (Henry Winkler), has been struggling to come up with a shoe powder that completely eliminates foot odor.  With such a background, you can understand why Stanley IV is unpopular at school and considers himself unlucky.  It is about to get worse when, while walking home from school one day, a pair of expensive cleats falls on his head.  This should be a random event, but they had been personally donated to charity by star baseball player Clyde “Sweet Feet” Livingston (Rick Fox).  When the pair is found in his possession, he is accused of theft and arrested, though this does not come until the police go to the Yelnats’ apartment.  The subsequent trial goes poorly, and the judge gives the kid two options: actual prison or eighteen months at Camp Green Lake.  The latter of these is pitched as a summer getaway, but we have already seen it as the place where the pits are excavated.  Here, again, we need context.  Obviously, the name of this so-called camp is misleading in the modern setting.  There is little that is green for hundreds of miles in any direction, never mind the water that would constitute a lake.  However, a hundred years ago there was a thriving community in which lives Katherine “Kissin Kate” Barlow (Patricia Arquette) and Sam the Onion Man (Dulé Hill).  The fact that Sam is sweet on Katherine, and vice versa, is a blow to the pride of Charles “Trout” Walker (Scott Plank), who owns all the surrounding land.  After seeing Katherine and Sam together, Trout burns down her school house and murders Sam.  It turns Katherine into the outlaw named Kissin’ Kate, who leaves her lipstick mark on anyone she kills.  Getting back to the present, it is in this same area that Stanley and other juvenile delinquents are being forced to do the digging.  The person who welcomes him to the facility, Marion “Mr. Sir” Sevillo (Jon Voight), claims that this activity is to build character.  This Catholic is all for character, but it is essentially slave labor.  Any “reform” that goes on is to be performed by the so-called counselor, Dr. Steve Pendanski (Tim Blake Nelson), who only says what Marion and the warden want to hear.  The warden, by the way, is Louise Walker (Sigourney Weaver).  We later learn that she is Trout’s granddaughter, and she has been out here her whole life searching for Kissin’ Kate’s pilfered loot.  The reformatory camp, then, is a screen for her illicit activities, and she treats the boys poorly.  Stanley’s experience is expectedly bad, though he eventually earns the coveted nickname that the in crowd give to their fellow inmates.  Still, he remains aloof enough to befriend Hector “Zero” Zeroni (Khleo Thomas), a kid who everyone thinks is slow and stupid.  They bond over Caveman teaching Zero to read, and the former encourages the latter to run when Zero makes a break for freedom.  Such is Caveman’s treatment that he eventually makes his own escape, catching up with Zero under the same boat in which Sam had been killed.  Caveman thinks they should return, but Zero has no intention of going back since he is used to being homeless.  Instead, they carry on, with Zero eventually getting hurt.  All this means that Caveman must carry Zero up the mountain.  You see what is happening, right?  With the curse lifted, they find water and wild onions at the top of the mountain, and Stanley III finally perfects his foot powder.  Further, the experience makes Caveman realize where he should dig for the treasure, which is found as lawyers arrive to retrieve Stanley IV.  Millions are recovered from the chest, and everyone apparently lives happily ever after.

Forgive such a generic description of Holes’ conclusion, but it is a really challenging film to discuss.  With so many odd plot points, I did not get a chance to fit in the fact that Mr. Sir is apparently a fugitive transvestite.  Then again, how does one casually work that into a synopsis?  There is no Catholic angle to this fact, either, since such people are not demonized by the Church like society thinks.  We are all sinners, and this is a broader theme in the film.  Still, it treats it in a less than satisfactory way, essentially saying that Elya’s transgression is the reason for their family having the problems with which they deal generationally.  It is an Old Testament way of looking at matters, and one that does not hold up in light of Jesus’ Passion.  At the same time, I appreciate Caveman’s actions for lifting the so-called curse.  He takes care of Zero when the boy is hurt, carrying the injured friend up the mountain as previously mentioned.  I do not know why Caveman fails to make the connection to Hector’s last name with Yelnats lore as told by Stanley Jr., but Caveman acts selflessly.  Caveman continues to be charitable when he insists that half the windfall goes to Hector.  I do not know about you, but sometimes I wonder if people (including myself) do such things as a way of buying favor with God.  Granted, I have never been in a position to give away millions of dollars, but I would do so because I want to do good.  I also know that doing so would be pleasing to God.  I suppose what would make this hypothetical deed altruistic would be a lack of desire for any kind of earthly recompense.  This, too, fits with Caveman’s actions, though it does not make me enjoy the movie.

Please forgive me for saying anything negative about Holes because I know there are many fans of the film.  Maybe I needed to see it when I was younger to appreciate it?  To this forty-six year-old-man, it was too bizarre for me to derive any enjoyment from it.