Whenever my friends from high school and I thought of going to the movies, I was typically the last of us whose opinion was counted on for choosing a title.  This meant we usually saw the lowest of the lowbrow productions.  An example of this I recall was Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), a film so bad that I believe all four of us got up and walked out of the cinema long before the end.  Part of the reason I got sucked into viewing such a stinker is because of once convincing the others to see Inventing the Abbotts (1997).  I had a celebrity crush on Liv Tyler, and the fact that she is one of the stars was all the thinking I put into wanting to see it.  I can tell you that my Faith life was non-existent then, so I will leave you to make your assumptions as to my state of mind.  While today’s selection does have some moments I would prefer to avoid as a practicing Catholic, to my adult eyes it has enough charm to make it passable.

Speaking of passing, Doug Holt (Joaquin Phoenix) and his older brother, John Charles “J.C.” Holt (Billy Crudup), are doing that in front of the title family’s home at the start of Inventing the Abbotts.  As they are walking, the Abbotts are setting up for one of their regular parties.  Because their patriarch, Lloyd Abbott (Will Patton), is one of the richer men in this small, far-flung suburb of Chicago, their soirees turn out to be lavish affairs during which most everyone is invited.  Of the Holt boys, it is J.C. who is most keen to attend.  He is infatuated with the Abbott’s middle daughter, Eleanor Abbott (Jennifer Connelly), although his reasons for wanting to be involved with this more well-off clan are personal.  He believes that Lloyd had slept with Doug and J.C.’s mother, Helen Holt (Kathy Baker).  Further, according to J.C., Lloyd had bilked their father, who died when the boys were young, out of a patent that would have made the Holts wealthy instead of the Abbotts.  This is the “inventing” part of the title, by the way.  Finally, and this part is true, it had been on a bet between their dad and Lloyd that ended with the elder Holt dying when his car went through the ice on a lake.  For now, Doug is unaware of these stories, but decides at the last minute to tag along with J.C., even though the older sibling finds the younger one’s presence annoying.  Having painted fake sideburns to look like Elvis Presley (not pictured), Doug catches the notice of Pamela Abbott (Liv Tyler), the youngest of the three sisters.  Everyone is dancing in celebration of the oldest Abbott girl, Alice Abbott (Joanna Going), getting engaged, though few know that it is a shotgun wedding.  During the festivities, J.C. is bothered that Eleanor is not paying all her attention to him, which is part of the reputation she has for being the wild child.  Nonetheless, the next day she stops by the garage where he works to apologize and they commence a tryst that lasts through him going away to college at the University of Pennsylvania.  Doug catches them in a compromising position one afternoon and remains fixated on the possibility of being with Eleanor, even though it is Pamela with whom he is closest.  This is what motivates his going over to the Abbott’s house one night, and it is Pamela who answers the door.  Because she is watching Alice’s baby, she cannot go out, but he sees a picture of Eleanor and tries to do the same kinds of things with Pamela that he witnessed in his garage.  Pamela stops him, saying that she is not like her sisters, particularly Eleanor, and he is forced to sneak out when everyone else gets home.  Nonetheless, Doug and Pamela start seeing a little more of each other, with him being invited to her birthday party.  It is at this time that J.C. reveals what he knows about the supposed affair, and the other things that happened between their father and Lloyd.  Already on edge about these revelations, Doug punches somebody who tries to cut in on him and Pamela before departing.  At the same time, J.C. has returned for the summer from college and has taken up again with Eleanor.  Lloyd finds the erstwhile lovers, and she is quite open about what they are doing, leading to her being sent away.  Between this and the fact that Doug has decided to also go to school at the University of Pennsylvania, J.C. is getting increasingly reckless.  Following Doug’s graduation, J.C. runs into Alice, newly divorced, at a diner and before long they are having an affair.  This is in contrast to Doug and Pamela, who are given the opportunity to start over with some encouragement from Helen.  Things are going well until Lloyd once more learns of J.C.’s machinations, leading to the young man desperately trying to get Alice to run away with him.  He fails, and not long thereafter it is time for them to go back to school.  During his freshman year, Doug has a chance encounter with Pamela, who is attending nearby Bryn Mawr.  He thinks this is another chance to begin a relationship with her, and he even takes care of her one night when she shows up drunk at his dorm.  Yet, a few days later as he is visiting J.C., the older brother gets a knock on his door.  It is Doug who answers, and he is surprised to see Pamela.  Apparently, J.C. and Pamela had been involved carnally, news that is devastating for Doug.  The only thing that brings the brothers back together is Helen’s death.  As Doug is taking care of mom’s things, he learns that their dad had rightfully sold the storied patent to Lloyd for a used car, and that nothing sexual had every occurred between Mr. Abbott and Helen.  With this in mind, Doug goes to Lloyd and requests to know where Pamela is.  Doug gets the information he seeks, finds her, and apparently they live happily ever after.

It is Inventing the Abbotts’ narrator (Michael Keaton) who suggests that Doug and Pamela live happily ever after.  It is supposed to be an older version of Doug, but why they did not simply have Phoenix fill this role is puzzling.  At any rate, one of the things that is often talked about throughout the movie is the different kinds of love that people experience.  There are some echoes to the Bible in here, such as the so-called “love chapter” in 1 Corinthians.  Though it does not mention the “L” word, it is verse eleven that best describes what is happening in the film: “When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.”  While it is true that Doug is the protagonist, I think the first part of that line can best be applied to J.C.  It is not just in the way he lusts after the Abbott daughters, which is an immature form of love.  It is the fact that he cannot forgive that makes him childish.  It is understandable to be upset, but to behave as he does is not Christian.  Afterall, there is the old line, originally penned by English Catholic poet Alexander Pope, about erring being human, but forgiving divine.  This is something that J.C. proves incapable of doing, and it nearly wrecks his relationship with Doug.  Luckily, Doug listened to what Helen taught him about forgiveness and its importance.  Still, Doug’s best moment comes not with J.C., but with Lloyd.  The young man has every reason to dislike the head of the Abbott family, and Lloyd knows it.  Yet, it is without anger that Doug approaches the father of the woman he loves, and it is that attitude that wins over Lloyd.  Finally, this paves the way for Doug and Pamela to share the kind of love that God has for us, the “no-matter-what kind” as it is described in the movie.

I am not sure you will love Inventing the Abbots “no matter what.”  I like it because it is sentimental, and that is the kind of guy I am.  As I said early on, there are a few moments in it that I could do without, but they do not overwhelm the proceedings.